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How to make kids more efficient?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by hrastro, Nov 2, 2012.

  1. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    I have an 8 year old son, who lives in his world of books and has to be reminded of every single thing - even to brush and bath !!! He loves to read and will always be with a book and I've to shake him out of it for every little thing!!!

    There are several things I love and appreciate about him, his emotional understanding, care, concern, memory, grasping some topics, intelligence, the way he looks up to me and supports me etc... but he is SO VERY Careless about his work and his stuff !!!

    I have NEVER EVER hit him, never even shown him a "slapping hand", even in irritation or jest!!! I believe in good communication and have always talked with him calmly about everything!! Even when he was a baby and toddler :)

    But I DO nag him !!! Non-stop :-(
    Do this, do that, did you brush properly, did you flush the toilet, did you pack your bag for tomorrow, you havent done this right, cant you do the simplest stuff right, you remember to do play stuff, but never remember about study - etc etc etc.... !!! Sometimes he looks at me like "mom, I'm not that careless" :)

    Is there any good ideas to make them more efficient???

    For instance, I'll ask him to wash hands with soap after toilet, he'll wash, then I ask did you wash with soap, he'll say oh, i forgot!!! and goes back !!!
    this happens everyday, he's 8, not 3 year old !!!

    Keep smiling :)
    HR
     
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  2. vjbunny

    vjbunny IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi
    Your complusive nagging must be making him forget/ignore whatever you say... Firstly please control your urge to tell him what to do... Then just observe what he does if he does without your saying then praise him for having done that in a few days you will see changes...
     
    sindmani and anugamit like this.
  3. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    I've tried this several times, he just doesnt get up to do the next job :-(

    You're right that my nagging has stopped him from thinking... but I've tried stopping for few days at a time, it doesnt work, i have to take the "storybook" from his hands and tell him to go for the next work like brush or do homework or eat snacks or anything :-( !!!

    Can anyone give any ideas that work... I've even thought of pasting a paper with instructions like "wash hands before food" on the dining table, in the bathroom etc !!! but would that be too much ???

     
  4. vjbunny

    vjbunny IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Rastro
    I do sympathise with you... one idea you can do is to put bowl with water on dining table to wash his hands once he washes ask him to throw the water in sink and clean and keep the bowl in kitchen am sure in a weeks time he will get the message...
    For the tasks set time for each task and keep an alarm it might serve as reminder for him...
     
  5. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    How about 2 weeks of no reminders? It needs to be of longer duration to be really effective. This will be hardest on you but no reminders/redirections from any of the adults in the house. He will have to deal with the natural consequences. If he doesn't complete tasks, and misses events, so be it.That will help him understand why he needs to be more involved in starting and completing tasks on his own. He is young enough that even missing some deadlines will not make or break his future.

    Before you start this sit down and talk to him in a calm manner so that he understands you are not angry but just deciding to let him take charge of his responsibilities.
     
    sindmani and hrastro like this.

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