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How To Make Friends In Real World

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by ChennaiExpress, Dec 25, 2017.

  1. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    I love you guys

    I wish to make friends in real world

    In past I got too friendly, some people stepped on me

    One person wanted to cheat on fiance with me <- I ignore him
    One person wanted to cheat on wife with me <- I got too busy for his emails
    Other person tried to touch my arms and shoulders <- Ugly monkey retired
    Third person said I should cut all my hair <- I ignore Ugly monkey

    After several such incidents I completely shut everyone out

    People probably thought I was bipolar, but I was trying to set boundaries

    Boundaries

    How to make friends and acquaintances in real life

    I was thinking of showing them paintings, meditative art, and reading them my poetry

    And I already purchased some items in co-worker's Baby Registry

    Please note, I don't have much time to hang out

    Either I am taking care of Dear Dad

    Or studying medical things

    Please advise

    How to make friends
     
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  2. Monica09

    Monica09 New IL'ite

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    I think you know the answer though.. but still it's human that we want to hear from someone else... And it's okay to be like that.
    Hi there, I'm new hear but I can relate a bit so replying to this post..
    To make real friends you need to put in time n ur emotions.. but to actually be able to do that...you have to believe that still there are good people.. don't just judge the whole world on the basis of limited set of people you met in past. So believe there is goodness in life..be positive n you will attract similar .. so be patient n positive.. hope it helps
     
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  3. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    I thought I knew the answer but then I thought better to post.

    Perhaps my approach had been wrong, because either I am aloof on come on too strong.

    Or I attract the crazies.

    You are right when you say it's human to want to hear from others.

    We are all social creatures.

    Guess I gotta be patient and positive.


    The workplace is 95% males and I am sole support to my parents.

    Hence I must work in man's world.

    Why don't you pray that I marry a nice, handsome Billionaire who allows me to stay home and look after family. That way the only males I will see are him, any sons we have, his male relatives, and of course my Dear Dad :)

    May my Dad live another 100 years and have a happy, enriched life!

    Satnam Shri Waheguru
     
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  4. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Somehow, you are attracting very wrong kind of people. Usually it is easy to spot these kind of people from our very first conversations there would be many red flags. You need to be sensitive to those red flags so that you can judge how someone is. Try to develop your emotional intelligence to study people.Most men are not like this - nowadays so many women working alongside men in offices that most men are seeing them as equals/friends/with respect. You have to sharpen your judgement capability.



     
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  5. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Alas, you are correct

    You know a while back, I was having crushes (not friendship, but crushes) on men who turned out to be
    - cheating on wife
    - psychopathic liars
    - criminal minded

    Then I said to God, ok I give up. Please get me Husband just like you.

    Now I no longer have crushes, I help Dad and focus on hobbies and continuing education.

    I guess for friends I need to do similar prayer. So God can guide me to make right judgements and get good friends in circle.


    We do need friends and acquaintances, along with good family.
     
  6. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    If someone come to you then talk to them don't go to anyone to talk in this environment.

    Don't take them as your friends and be particular about the distance that they should maintain while talking to you.

    Don't show your personal thoughts and creativity to anyone who don't deserve to know.

    You don't have to run behind anyone to get into a relationship. Your luck will come to your way you just have to keep an eye but don't run after every sign of that.
     
  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Cheer up my dear Sister. besides present methods to enlarge and widen friends' circle, one has to simply look for lending helping hand to those seemingly in difficult situation(s) and if not monetarily atleast physically and sometimes even patient listening to others especially elders would go long way in making new and renew friendships. if one has a large and very large friend circle, it will boost up his or her morale, confidence and may even turn him more optimistic in (leading) life. How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carneigh throws up numerous ideas which I am sure every one heard and or read it. All winners in life are those who have large circle of friends and believe always in expanding friends' circle. that is what society expects. one should not get isolated and insulated from the crowd which would make him or her more depressssssssssed.
    Regards. Season's greetings.
     
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2017
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  8. Dishaa

    Dishaa Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Op,

    Just like the fingers in our hand, the world is full of different types of people.

    Give things some time no need to be over friendly or completely isolate yourself better keep on interacting with different persons and in due course of time you will surely end up with good friends.
     
  9. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Focus on quality over quantity when it comes to friendships. You would rather have few rock solid friendships that last you a lifetime rather than many superficial ones that will eventually fizzle out.
    Take it slow, don’t force it. Most friendships happen without any planning , when you least expect it. If it doesn’t happen or fizzles out soon don’t fret over it , move on.

    You should be careful about showing your vulnerable side to people at work in the quest to be friends with them. Workplace friendships tend to get complicated, be cordial to everyone at work but be very selective about what you choose to reveal/ discuss about your personal life.
    My experience tells me that even men tend to gossip at work unfortunately .

    Meanwhile, cherish the friendship you share with your dad!
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2017
  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Absolutely and I am in full agreement with this statement.
    2. It is said that one should not open up all buttons in one go. The idea is "seemingly amiable person" might use our words/friendship in out of context situations and turn us into a laughing stock.
    Thanks and Regards.
     

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