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How To Keep Yourself Cool When Mil Irritate Us

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Ishaan10, May 17, 2019.

  1. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    :hello:BUT THAT IS THE KEY you have almost with every one to have a cheerful people around you ever. Simple query to them pleases them, satisfies there ego that they teach you and you are their disciple. It for sure creates better bonding.
    2. You must be in the habit of discovering everytime you meet a person let him or her be close relative or your hubby or your own and others' kids as to what is unique or special about them - their statement and say few words of praise.
    3. You would have easily endeared all with widened circle of potentially useful friends.
    4. Praising doesn't cost you anything but in long run pay rich dividends.
    God desires all sukino bhavandhu
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2019
  2. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Senior IL'ite

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    Need a small advice.. if you have tried to keep him out of this drama but she still frustrates you by bad mouthing you behind your back and pretends to be the sweetest person in front of DH..will you inform him or let go??

    Sorry to hijack your thread but I'm new here and don't have privilege to start a new thread and need advice ASAP..
    I'M REALLY SORRY
     
  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Sweety2019,

    If you drain is not flowing properly, you have a few methods to solve it a) to take a sharp object and try to remove the clogging inside the pipe, b) fill the water in the sink and try to pump the water so that the clogging inside the pipe will be removed and c) if the clogging is too much, you will have to pour some Drainex into it, leave it for a few minutes and then pour water to clear the clogging.

    The method a) is telling the husband, method b) is trying to solve it yourself politey and method c) is solving it yourself taking strong steps on your own. In c) above, you have to make sure you handle the Drainex carefully so that it doesn't accidentally hurt you.

    Viswa
     
    Anusha2917 and Rampuri9 like this.
  4. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    In the same thread there is one post by @radv . Read that. It may answer your question.
    Dealing MIL is something we learn day by day through some trials and errors.
    When I kept complaining to hubby about MIL I realised that this is affecting the husband wife relationship. Because no matter what bad mouthing MIL does, for the husband she is his mom. He will never accept it and it bounces back on us that we are not adjusting, no understanding nature, immature and what not. So better IGNORE and do not take the matter to hubby and spoil that beautiful relationship with him.
    We need to choose our battles wisely. And I would never choose this battle with MIL and waste my precious energy on it. . Ignoring what they do will do Good not to them(MIL) but for us.(husband and wife)
    When we stop reacting it should drain their energy to do more harm (by bad mouthing or whatever way ) . When we be nice to them they at least try to be nice with us. But when we don't be nice with them they get more aggravated and all the more want to irritate us more.
    So better to keep giving them love (even if they don't deserve). Eventually this will come back to us.
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2019
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  5. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you viswa for the reply

    Don't want to damage the pipe. It will cost me a lot.. because I will be blamed for breaking the pipe and I will also have to fix/replace it.

    So maybe I will try just using water and the plunger..
    If it continues anymore I will have to use the Drainex.
    Just don't want it to hurt my relationship which is more valuable.

    Even in the situation of the OP


    Why can't elders just let the couple be..
    Why do they have to be so insecure and make the girl's life so miserable?
    Why don't they acknowledge her efforts trying to accommodate everyone?

    Maybe I will create another thread for these questions..Anyone else is welcome to start the thread..
     
  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Please read the answer below:

    How To Surmount This Problem?
     
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  7. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Senior IL'ite

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    That is so
    That is so true..when I used to take it to him it always backfires on me. And I was tagged as a bad DILeven when I have fought with my husband backing her.

    And realised in our relationship all our fights was about her. And just a few that were real couple fights.. That day I just stopped and ignored everything..

    But sometimes it gets to you and you just want to have a say.. well you can't.. you have to be the DIL that takes all the bs and not utter a word..
     
  8. Deol7777

    Deol7777 New IL'ite

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    Try to ignore her and enjoy life the way u want.
     

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