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How to keep your secrets once married?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Iamagoodgirl, Jul 23, 2013.

  1. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

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    Congrats, IAAGG.
     
  2. generic

    generic Gold IL'ite

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    I also had a similar concern when I got married. The fact is that u're gonna share your life with a set of new people...so maintaining secrets is quite difficult...diet, skin care routine etc are minor things and can be shared with others so that they can adjust accordingly...for eg., if they have habit of making oily food or high calorie food on daily basis, then u can mention ur diet and make some low-cal healthy food also...then no one will force u to eat sweets/snacks during festivals ...and it's no big deal as everyone is health conscious these days...skincare routine is also ok...all girls like to be well groomed...I have roamed around the home wearing all kinds of herbal face packs...but obviously u can't wear revealing nighties at home...except during sleep...:( and other lingerie will anyway be seen when u hang them for drying after washing... But pl don't bring ur diary...if anyone comes across it and reads it they'll create big drama... if ur in-laws happen to be decent people who do not interfere in the privacy of newly married couple and give u ur space, I can say u are truly blessed!
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2013
  3. strangegirl

    strangegirl Silver IL'ite

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    The part marital home speaks it all....

    You do not need to hide anything, but just can be open if that is in YOUR home. But if you are going to live in someone else's home as a guest (Do not say as a part of their family, bcz that's impossible), then you really need to be prepared.

    The culture must change, and every family should understand the need of nuclear family system at least for this
     
  4. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    no those are remedies for hair fall.But i have seen people having very strong opinion against homeopathy and supplements like iron,calcium tablets,protein powders etc.
     
  5. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Gee weez!!!!! this is what i am scare of.
    I have observe giving privacy and space is a concept absent in many indian homes.And as a newly wed DIL we cant change things suddenly at ILs place.
     
  6. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    if ur in-laws happen to be decent people who do not interfere in the privacy of newly married couple and give u ur space, I can say u are truly blessed!

    This is something we ladies discover only after living there for few week.I worried i am going to get surprise.
    Just read above reply.
     
  7. cheenu123

    cheenu123 Gold IL'ite

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    Even I sometimes face the same set of problems. Whenever I open my almirah once I am back from the office, I find things haywire. I am thinking of locking my almirah but that might infuriate my MIL because time and again she has been saying no on has ever locked almirah in our home. However, I really want to lock it and thinking of coming up with some convincing excuse, also at times I tell myself, do I need an excuse to lock my own almirah? Am I not entitled to this much space?
     
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  8. strangegirl

    strangegirl Silver IL'ite

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    What's your husband's stand on this? Sorry OP for this diversion if you don't mind..
     
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  9. superwoman09

    superwoman09 Gold IL'ite

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    Used to happen to me too with the comments that no one ever locks the almirahs. I used to keep it unlocked. I told my DH that PILs do go through the almirah when I am not around and I feel uncomfortable. He said not to mind that and they are like that only and what is there to hide. I agree I do not have anything in there that I want to hide from them, its just clothes and inners but still I am uncomfortable as I had never seen my parents do that.

    MIL all the while keeps on saying that she has no time to go to my room and check and it must be FIL doing that since he is free most of the days and likes to know and check bills to see what stuff we bought and for whom. But I come to know from SIL about things which I keep in my almirah, obviously MIL updates her on that stuff and hence her lie is caught. I don't say anything to her though.

    nowadays I have started locking my almirah. It is now after eight years of marriage I have got the courage to do that. MIL cannot say anything since she is the one saying that she has no time to go through my stuff. FIL too cannot say anything since I lock only my almirah and not my DH and it would be awkard for him to ask about it. MIL once mentioned that FIL found my almirah locked and I casually replied that yes nowadays I lock it since I am uncomfortable with him going through my almirah as there is nothing of his concern there, just my clothes. I added that if ever there was anything she wanted from it when I was not there she could tell me and I would give it to her or ask DH to give the keys to her. That shut her up for good and now I do not find her tampering even if I have kept it unlocked. I did not have the courage to do this in my earlier days of marriage though
     
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  10. cheenu123

    cheenu123 Gold IL'ite

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    I have not discussed this with my DH so far, it might come as a shock to him!
     

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