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How To Identify 'mean' Person Or Camaflouged Person

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Vedhavalli, Dec 14, 2019.

  1. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    Some people are simply users and moochers and they don’t even have the slightest shame. Now you have seen her true colors be firm in future. She’ll move on to the next easy target.
     
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  2. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    Ya my husband told me the same. Better not to take responsibility for others kid. But she posed as if emergency. She was in real trouble
     
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  3. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

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    If you say 2-3 or even 4-5 nos to a person, and that person still asks for favor, then they are leaches. If they stop asking then they are genuine.
    Mostly it works.
    US is such that no one has to ask any one for anything, state helps (schools etc) or money helps. You do not have to step up..unless you know someone has exhausted the options of state and money and 1-2 friends
     
  4. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    I mean you cannot ask back but doesn't mean you have to do free baby sitting unless you think she really need help in case if emergency (health issues or immediate emergency).

    I wonder why you want to continue her friendship by doing free babysitting.

    Does she helped you in any way when you asked for something? If so make sense you are really close friends each other. But just babysitting I am surprised why you hesitate to say no.

    Again if you really close each other then its upto you but if not...you will feel later after sometime she used you to take care of her kid (spending all your time) she using her time productively somewhere...
     
  5. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    :nono: Now you are telling that you ignore your husband's advice. You do not realize how serious a trouble you can get yourself into, and mess up his life as well.

    Here is another advice that is almost the same as your husband's:
    You must learn to tell people that your husband is mean, he will yell at you if you do this, do that, he will fight with you if you do the other thing also. Don't tell anyone that he will hit you or anything. But short of that, you can blame a husband a whole lot of things, to refuse being made a patsy by other people taking advantage of you. If your husband is really loving and affectionate you can blame him for a whole lot more for why you cannot take any nonsense from anyone. They are there to be used to our advantage. Use him. You may not know this; but the husbands are using their wives when they want to refuse to do something they don't want to do. For example, a coworker asks him to go out to have a beer after work, and the husband would tell,"...no..sorry, I cannot; my wife will kill me if I don't get home by x-o'clock", even though he would have the most subservient, slave of a wife.
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2019
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  6. ragzz

    ragzz Bronze IL'ite

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    We understand IL is an experimental-fun-timepass-playground for you. But please, can we refrain from malarkey like above? Thanks.
     
  7. paru123

    paru123 Silver IL'ite

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    Op,
    You could have asked her beforehand what is the reason for her delay, where is she going etc, before agreeing to babysit. Genuine people would tell in detail. These are tricky situations as some fake people like in your case may not tell the truth and confronting is also difficult. If they give you genuine emergency reasons you could offer help if you have no other commitments that day. Even if its not an emergency you can offer help only if you are free to do it.

    Remembering an instance when one day, two mothers asked me to babysit their kids after school. One mother said she would be late by 30 minutes and she was dot on time and apologized for the inconvenience caused. She had gone to visit someone in the hospital. Other mother also said 30 minutes but she came after 2 hours. And her kid was very naughty n difficult to.manage. She very well knows what time her kid would be back from school. She had gone shopping that day and got delayed. She could have gone a little early and come back before the school timings.

    These kind of things happen. Ignore wherever possible. If having other commitments tell them before hand or dont accept to babysit.
     
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  8. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    She is not a friend. She is mom who's kid goes to same school as mine. She is merely an acquaintance, once came home for play date.
    I couldn't say no because she said she was an HR away wouldn't make it on time to pick from school. So I thought ok she would come by time n pick her kid.
    Later I came to she went to a party. I'm feeling resentful because someone used me.
    Hereafter I'm not considering any requests from people who are not friends.
     
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  9. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    I totally understand, what you mean.
    I drove the kids in freeway. Sometimes saying no keeps us safe.
    Hubby told, think n do. Don't do n think.
     
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  10. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    True geniuene people would tell the reason.
    I should learn to ask tougher questions
    What, where, how much time, when etc .
    Firstly I shouldn't agree on first hand
     

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