Hi Everyone! I am here because I need your collective wisdom on what I need to do with a problem , I cannot solve on my own . My story is very hard to narrate for me and its even worse for my mother for whom I am here on this forum right now. Let me start with the background. My father is an extremely volatile. For over 30 years of marriage he has been verbally , emotionally and physically abusive towards me and my siblings. As many abusers do , he maintains a very clean image in front of his relatives and does his best to spoil our names ( my mom and siblings ) towards all of his relatives. As a result , no relatives respect us as he has told them a lot of lies about us which they believe. It has been over 15 years since I have spoken to any of our extended relatives due to the humiliation that he has caused to me. I tried to suicide twice and was only saved by my spirituality. He has done everything possible to demean my mother and siblings. Examples of horrible stuff he has done : 1. He used to abuse alcohol a lot and use the worst language on my mother calling her "whore" , "bitch" ...everyday. Once he got so drunk that he stripped my mother on the road in front of her sister's house . He took out her saree and beat her with chappals. 2. When I was 18 he was really desperate to go abroad and live the NRI lifestyle. Since his own dreams had failed to go abroad he tried to use us. He taught us since children to hate India and Indian culture calling it a dirty country. He met a mentally unstable british man aged 30 at work. When I was 18 he forced me to go on a date with him . I refused. He pulled me by the hair out of the house and beat me on the road , till i agreed to do what he said. His colleagues who were working with him were so concerned for me and they told me that the guy was a psychopath and mentally unstable. Finally I got the courage and told him to **** off. I was abused very badly after the guy left. 3. I wanted to study Journalism but he forced me to study engineering in a very bad college so that he could fulfill his NRI dreams . I failed so he sent me at age 19 with very little money to a european country whose language I did not know . When I landed down in that country , he called me every day "you fucking whore bitch , I hope you have started working" . "I want the money that I paid you back in 2 weeks". AFter that he proceeded to tell all his relatives, how I had spent all his money. I was survinvg there by cleaning toilets and working in factories in 12 hr shifts. All my relatives still think that I am a spoilt brat who wasted all his money. 4. He did the same thing to my other two siblings. When my sister was also sent to another european country with very little money , she was in a phone booth calling me . She was so scared that she pissed in her pants. It still hurts me to think about this. 5. Once when I was hugging my sister, he told everyone that we are lesbians. That was the day when I stopped speakiing to him and have not spoken to him for 5 years. These are just a few examples of his abuse and violence. If I had to fill out all his abuses it could fill out a whole book. He is a nasty , self-obssesed , narcissitic and jealous indicidual. Now back to my mother. WE three siblings could escape his abuse when we left home , but my mother could not. For years she suffered his abuse . She did not have any clothes to wear , her panties were full of holes. She still wore sarees that were given to her by her father in her wedding. She does not have a bank account or any money in her name. She is so afraid of him that she sits in the dark the whole day afraid even to switch on the fan because he will abuse her over the electricity bill. When we were abroad and dealing with our own issues and trying to recover from the abuse, my mother was very badly neglected. She developed schizophrenia due to the abuse. When I came back home from abroad the house was riddled with cockroaches and she was spitting on the wals and abusing herself in the worst words you can imagine. I later found out from my aunt that she had pulled her earring so hard that she tore her ear-lobe when she first started hearing the voices. Instead of helping her , her relatives made fun of her and avoided her , telling everyone that she had caught a "ghost". My father did not even bother to take her to a doctor or look after her in any way. She lives her life like a slave. cooking for him and listening to his abuses. AFter I came , I was shocked at her state. It was all too much to bear and I had become desp[erately sucidal myself. I blamed myself for everything that had happend to my mother. My siblings were also going through their own trauma. I also suspect that my father instructed my mother to add pills in my food , to prove to his relatives that I was mentally unstable. Even after seeing this state of my mother , amazingly none of his relatives blamed him or reproached him. We were given lectures on how ungreatful we were and how we had abandoned our parents. Sure enough , my brother left , because he had tried to suicide by crashing his bike and could not take the abuse of my father anymore. He has never been back. My sister is sufering emotional trauma from what he has done to her. Anyway , due to pills my mother has stopped hearing the voices and she has to be on them lifelong. Sadly , the psychiatrist who saw her died a week after treating my mother. When all this was going on I tried my best to rally support for my mother and to get her away from him. All my relatives insulted me and when my mother was quetioned she defended my father and told them that I was the one who abuses her. This I later learnt is very common amongst victims of abuse. They have been abused to such an extent and brainwashed and isolated to such an extent that they truly believe that the abuser is their saviour. Needless to say after my mothers testimony none of the relatives , even her own sister , supported me. Even after they knew all this they told me "father is father, you are just like him and you should talk to him". Well it got to the point that I was on my second suicide attempt , and luckily I discovered my spirituality . After that I distanced myself from everyone and live a very happy life in another country. However I am tormented by my mother's state. She is old now almost 62. She has severe arthritis in both her knees and high BP. She is still slaving away at his home all day . She is always all alone as no one talks to her. She has no bank account or money of her own. Due to her arthritis she cannot even walk properly she limps. I am very depressed and I dont know how to help her. Initally I had thought that the best way to help her would be to have semblance of a relationship with my father so that I could help her. But I had to stop after he tried to get me divorced and abuse my husband. (long story). Right now I have come for a visit to my mom's home, and just staying here and hearing his voice has put me into a deep depression and already I have suicidal thougts all over again. I feel so guilty that I cannot help my mother. I feel so hopeless and so helpless. I feel so miserable that she has lived her whole life like a slave , getting the worst physical and verbal abuse imaginable. And in the fag end of her life, still I am unable to help her .I feel so miserable. Please tell me what I can do in this situation Note: I have tried all legal action and it has backfired because my father is very rich. My own mother nor my relatives will speak against him and that is out of the question.