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How To Handle "what Do You Do All Day From Inlaws To A House Wife?"

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Desideer, Jul 31, 2019.

  1. Desideer

    Desideer New IL'ite

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    I am a stay at home mom with kids/family staying outside of india. I do get the question of "What do you do all day" (sounding very inquisitive) especially from fellow stay at home aunts from inlaws side. These folks have either never worked or retired. They even have grown up kids above 25 (guys) who doesn't have any solid job/ambition.

    Nothing irritates me more and i feel terrible when they ask this. I just keep mum. . By god's grace we are financially doing ok . I used to work many years in IT and stopped because it was getting too much to handle everything. We go to their place to give gifts and my hubby helps them financially too from so many years. I feel very disrespected by the way they treat me. These are close relatives from MIL's side. MIL is a different story all together. so can't escape or not help since they need financial help.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2019
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  2. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh aunty, on Monday I went and spent 2-3 hrs in the parlor. I had to get my hair color done. Then I met my friend Divya for coffee before picking Tikku up from school.

    On Tuesday, I had to go to the big Spar 5 kms away from my house to buy grocery because we only get stuff from there. Then I spent some time in just books while the driver went back home to drop off grocery. I ate lunch from the cafe next door, lounged in just books before going to pick Tikku up.

    On Wednesday I went for my neighbor’s kitty party(I tried out this new recipe). It was elaborate. After lunch we all went together to school to pick Munna, Munni and Tikku up.

    On Thursday, I had to go visit my aunt in the other side of town. You know she’s been ailing. I got there and realized she was out of essential meds. While I got that done, I also dropped in on my friend Pavithra who lives next door. Then of course, taking care of Tikku. He’s such a naught bachcha these days.

    On Friday, my DH took chutti from office to take me to watch the new James Bond movie. We ate lunch at that trendy Italian place. Tikku got picked up by my sister, so I decided to go there after for dinner etc.

    On Saturday, there are all these social formalities. (With a frown).

    After all this I need the entire Sunday to relax and recharge for next week.
    What do you do with all your time? Now that Dimple isn’t in school anymore, do you read? I can suggest just books to you.

    This is how I would handle it. I am busy enjoying my life and my hard earned savings and it’s none of your business but here is some free advice for you. That would end the questions.
     
  3. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    They may be jealous of you.
    Tell them
    I volunteer at my kids school or the library. There is no need for my income as my husband is minting millions of dollars.
    Turn the tables back at them.
    What job is your son doing??did he get a better job??.when is he getting married.
    :treadmill:
    Have a talk with your husband. When he is doing so much, they are disrespectful to you.
     
  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Naughty you:roflmao:
     
  5. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Wait , what ? Your husband and you provide financial help to these women that are raising grown up ambition lacking children , but you have to give an explanation about how you utilize your time ?
     
  6. AppuMom

    AppuMom Silver IL'ite

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    Tell them that you have a super busy social life and you get to do things for yourself which you missed doing when you were working..
     
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  7. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    What do I do all day?
    Lunch out, nap, spa, spend my husband's money.
    Try this and it should shut them up.
     
  8. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    If those aunties never worked, you can simply say "oh, aunty I'm following your steps, just chilling at home, though I miss my work-life".
    This is how I responded to my MIL's sister. Whose daughter and daughter in law both don't work but has maids. They never tried for working too, only has BA degree. They compare with me I'm from top University.
     
  9. rgz

    rgz Silver IL'ite

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    Your response to them is good, and do keep it up. On a different note - but not sure what top univ has to do with it. Even if they were from top univ - they should not be rude to you. So does not matter which Univ you or they are from.
     
  10. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    I want this life! I can haz?

    The next time she asks, say, "I use my spare time to keep meticulous accounts of all the money we spend supporting parasites like you."

    Yes, it's very rude but respect is a two-way street. :angry:
    .
     
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