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How to handle very personal remarks!

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Vaikuntha, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. Vaikuntha

    Vaikuntha Platinum IL'ite

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    Hello Ladies,
    I am in need of some insight into how to handle repeated remarks from a mom.
    So, I try to take my son to play dates. One of the moms, every time she sees me, starts commenting, your son will get lonely! You should try for more kids.
    at first, I thought she had good intentions, but now I feel she is trying to be nosy about my marriage. She wants to know what's wrong etc.
    I also feel that she might gossip about me with other moms, because she is telling me a lot of personal stuff about others, so I guessed she is going to do the same behind my back.
    Now, she got pregnant with third one, by accident - she said. I am very happy for her and feel that children are gods gift.
    With my husband and his dramas- he staying in another room etc, I may or may not have another kid. I have asked him let's plan but like everything else in my life, he says no to it.
    But if I am on a simple play date, why do I have to give explanations to fellow mom?
    If I tell her about my marriage, she will use it as brownie points. I can always cut her off. What is good reply for her, so doesn't ask again .. Or should I just cut her off.
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Tell her: I am waiting to see how your kids turn out before going for more.
    Or: We are trying.. really hard... not happening..any tips?
     
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  3. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    I think, If ur kid has good friends in this play date, then don't cut off,
    dont tell what is happening in ur house to her, but when kids talk innocently among themselves like (wher do u sleep, with mommy, no I sleep in my room etc talks) may be she got to know some stuff about ur house.

    u ignore her personal questions by simply smiling, or we will see if happens like that.
     
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  4. pear

    pear Gold IL'ite

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    Dear op,

    To avoid personal questions ,you need to deviate the person off from talking thier personal stuff to you.In my experience i had seen people who tell a lot of personal stuff expect us to confide everything in our life to them.And its not good to listen to gossiping ........would lead you to unnecessary problems.Next time she gossips or gets nosy change the topic and make her talk something diff like .........praising her or asking kids related suggestion(something that she may enjoy talking).When you dont have anything constructive to talk with each other ...try politics or movies or some other kids stuff. Even if she doubts your relationship with dh ,there is no need for you to give direct answers.After a period of time they understand that you are not the confiding type and let you go.
     
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  5. chocogal26

    chocogal26 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear OP....whenever she starts about the another kid....just cut her talk and start talking something else....
     
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