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How to handle this?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by polymorphic, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Basically your H is undermining your confidence, he could be scared that you will be successful in your career. Ask him if could manage baby, house and job alone without any help!
    Be focussed, successful career women are very focussed and dont let discouraging hubbies stand in the way. They just ignore their nasty feedbacks.You are not a superwoman , you have to compromise on certain issues.
    Your baby will grow up soon and you can have a satisfying career like so many other ladies. But you have to get your priorities right.
    If DH wants a pedestal he will have to get one for himself.
     
  2. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    Poly,

    See weather this help.His office shirts can send it to laundry.Typically shirts costs 1.25$ per shirt.First put full stop to his laundry atleast office wear.Iron takes lot of time.Tell him he is responsable.Pajamas and other things you can wash in regular laundry.First start looking for job.Slowly he should start helping you.
    If not,the people who come for house cleaning also helps in laundry.See you can hire some one over the week end and they should able to help you.If you start spending then slowly he will take over.
     
  3. orion80

    orion80 Platinum IL'ite

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    My suggestion is similar to what JAG has suggested. Instead of expecting help from him, invest your ideas and money on getting help from other sources.

    1. Before you start the job, tell him either he shares the chores or he can do his stuff himself. If he doesnt do the chores, stop doing things for him. Let his wash and iron his stuff.

    2. Just stopping to do his chores will not reduce your work load. Hire a cleaning lady for once a week or fortnight. Get the house thorougly cleaned during this time. If he questions the expenditure, tell him that you require help around the house. As he is not pitching in, you are hiring help.

    3. There meals you can prepare which are simple and nutritious. Collect as many recipes as you can. Plan the most of the meals from this collection. Once in a while, you can prepare an elaborate meal. If chopping vegetables is time consuming, buy a chopper/food processor which makes your work easy. If not, buy cut vegetables. Anything you find time and effort consuming, try to make it easier.

    Once you start using such ideas to ease your work, you will feel rested and confident. If your husband cribs about too much expenditure, tell him that you need help around the house. As he not pitching in, you are trying other means of help.
     
  4. polymorphic

    polymorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks ladies!! Its not something which can be changed in a day. But I will go through your suggestions to make it work.
     

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