1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

How To Handle Inlaws Not Helping In Critical Phase

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sslkgpaa, Sep 8, 2016.

  1. sslkgpaa

    sslkgpaa Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    288
    Likes Received:
    327
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear all,

    This is one urgent issue going in my family. My cousin's husband is critically ill and in ICU for past 1 week. Cost of ICU is 1 lakh per day + other expenses for labwork and medicines (~10K per day). He was not working for past 1.5 years due to health reasons (needs a liver transplant) after transplant and recovery only he would be able to start working, but suddenly due to some complication he has to get admitted and then moved to ICU.
    Now the issue is my cousin is SAHM with two school going kids. All her husband's savings are exhausted in past year and half of his illness and other household expenses (school fees, rent etc). Her in-laws are well to do (went for a foreign trip for vacation a year back) but not willing to help her financially in her trying times and forcing my uncle to bear all the expenses. Till today all the expenses(~10 lakhs) were paid by my uncle (her father).
    Cousin's mom and FIL are related (distant brother and sister) so her ILs and parents have a huge set of common relatives.
    I need ideas how to force her in-laws to take financial responsibility of their son.

    /GP
     
    Loading...

  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,663
    Likes Received:
    23,148
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Let the common relatives know how they are.Put pressure through them.
     
    sindmani and sslkgpaa like this.
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,969
    Likes Received:
    20,846
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Female
    I am stunned!! Their son is in dire need of help and these parents are not helping..
    am not able to get over that fact..
    Is it a love marriage?sorry to digress..

    As yellow mango said,put pressure on them.Someone has to confront them for their atrocious behaviour
     
    sindmani and sslkgpaa like this.
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,663
    Likes Received:
    23,148
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Some people will wait till the girl's father has sold his kidney.

    Op...if there is a family whatsapp gp...put in an appeal and be frank.Say urgent need for help...girl's family has exhausted all resources.
    Ask elders to get the in laws to help.
     
    sindmani, ashima10, NeetaR and 2 others like this.
  5. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,663
    Likes Received:
    23,148
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Discuss with a lawyer.
    If the parents inherited property from their ancestors....the son has a right to his share.
    Check if the son can go to court and ask for his share in property.May be they could get a loan against that property.
    Maybe ...the thought of getting a bad name if they go to court will make them loosen their purse strings.

    ...............................................................
    Op ...is the liver problem related to alcohol abuse?Sometimes ...families give up on members who spoil their own lives by self abuse.
     
    sindmani and jskls like this.
  6. sslkgpaa

    sslkgpaa Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    288
    Likes Received:
    327
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    @yellowmango @anika987 Thanks for the idea. But exactly what should they say to relatives so as to gather force against her in-laws. I already asked my mom and dad to spread the word among the relatives about whats going on.
    Every one seems to show sympathy to my cousin but leave it there. I called her yday and she was more worried for the mounting hospital bills than her husband's recovery (got tears in my eyes), I want to help her too but my DH says if she has no means then it makes sense to help her, but when her in-laws are not willing to break their fixed deposits for their son, then how much can we do?
    Also her in-laws are kind of sure that my uncle and aunt are not leaving their son-in-law to die and will keep spending until someone else pitches in, so they are pretending that they dont care for him at all.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  7. sslkgpaa

    sslkgpaa Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    288
    Likes Received:
    327
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for suggestions. Yes a lot of property is inherited from ancestors, which they sold off recently and put all of it as FDs in bank. Can my cousin still claim her share on that? I googled about that and found that if the property is partitioned within past two generations then the offspring cannot claim his right (which happens to be true in this case among the 4 brothers her FIL has) and FIL already sold his share. Cousin's husband is the only son to them and other two are daughters.
     
  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,663
    Likes Received:
    23,148
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Consult someone who knows these laws.
     
  9. sslkgpaa

    sslkgpaa Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    288
    Likes Received:
    327
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    I dont think the liver damage is due to alcohol, he is a big shiva bhakt and wears rudraksha mala (and while wearing that, one is not supposed to consume alcohol or animal meat), moreover he eats only home food, I know that because when they visited us in india, my cousin used to extract fresh juice from fruits to give him because he doesnt even drink tropicana (and other packed fruit juices). He had health issues from very young like college time(enlarged liver and water retention in body etc) and recent problem i hear is due to some infection
     
    sindmani likes this.
  10. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,663
    Likes Received:
    23,148
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    What about the sisters?
    Can they not help or at least ask in laws to help out?May they should be involved.
    The wife should leave her children with in laws...may be that will shame them into helping.
    Regarding the liver transplant...is some one from the family ready to donate?
     
    sindmani likes this.

Share This Page