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How To Handle A Wife With A Loose Tongue?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by SoniaG, Jul 14, 2016.

  1. SoniaG

    SoniaG New IL'ite

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    The problem is with my cousin's wife and we have no idea on how to handle this. She is in US and known for big mouth. She will just say anything and never said 'sorry' in her life. She would constantly yell at kids for trivial things such as ' get ready in 10 minutes or I will choke you to death'. 2 days ago my cousin reached home at 8 pm and she just pulled cold subzi from regrigerator. My cousin put some in a small vessel to warm it and she started yelling in front of us 'I am so happy when you don't come home and all the problems start when you reach home. now I have to clean one more utensil'. He is a very soft natured guy and staying with her just for kids. Because of her mean mentality, she doesn't have many friends either.
     
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  2. monkatpeace87

    monkatpeace87 Silver IL'ite

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    This is not called loose tongue. Loose tongue is when ppl accidentally say something and ur cousin wife is saying things on purpose. I don't think u can do anything about it. Some ppl are just not worth it.
    Btw where is the marriage registered??
    How old are the kids???
    I feel for ur cousin. He must be going through psychological torture. Not easy to live with such person
     
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  3. catwalk

    catwalk Gold IL'ite

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    She has a problem in her behavior. That's why she has no friends.

    Don't take her words personally. You are not the reason. So you can completely ignore her words.
    If you think that her words would insult / hurt your loved ones, go ahead and warn her politely not to use harsh words. Also set tolerance limits for yourself and let her know the consequences if she cross the limit again.

    Let her husband know about it.
     
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  4. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    So, does your cousin help his wife with household chores? If he atleast loads up dishwasher and takes away the washed dishes, I don't think she would have said that.

    If you know the complete details for your 'cousins' family logistics, then we can give u suggestions.. Also, OP, I think it will better for you stay away from their family matters and not give any free advices.
     
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  5. SoniaG

    SoniaG New IL'ite

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    oh! he does everything in the house. from cutting vegetables, doing laundry, fixing cloth stitches, cleaning bathrooms, responsible for 1 kids school work etc.. Many women wish they had a husband like him. very soft natured and has philosophical bent of mind.
     
  6. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    She needs to be pulled up on her behaviour because it is extremely toxic for the kids. Your cousin needs to toughen up and confront her about this. He needn't ask for reasons. He needs to simply give her am ultimatum and follow through.

    Something like, "I have no idea why you are so angry and bitter with everything. However your rude demeanour and bad temper is not helping. Either you come for counselling sessions with me and make an attempt or I'll have to walk away with the kids. Kids deserve a harmonious environment to grow up in. Your behaviour is affecting them badly and it's about time you sorted yourself out."

    She is going to put up a fight; he should not buckle down. He needs to tell her clearly that he is willing to work on the marriage too (if he thinks it's worth saving) he might benefit from counselling by himself so he can work out a solution acceptable to him.
     
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  7. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op....this is not a loose tongue,this is serious abuse.
    Tell him to get proof (record this) and confront her with the proof. Then she will either be forced to make amends or lose the people she likes to abuse. His staying silent while she talks like this to the children makes him an enabler.He should take some action.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2016
  8. ranirm

    ranirm Bronze IL'ite

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    Y cant your cousin have a heart to heart talk with her and know why she is behaving that way..? How is thier relationship except this shouting thing ..verbal abuse is bad too..but how are they generally except this issue ..is he happy with his married life ..i think those answers will help to figure out thier relationship better
     
  9. resmij

    resmij Silver IL'ite

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    Dear op ,

    Advise your cousin to speak to his wife - for controlling her words

    Has your cousin ever mentioned he is not happy with this behaviour from his partner ?- may be help him to open up with any relative - you or any responsible elder of the family

    How about a conunselling as couple ?
    He helps her in all the household chores - very nice :I hope help her through a conunselling ?

    How about the kids ,they are happy ?

    Hope all ends well at your cousins place soon

    Regards
    Resmij
     

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