How to get your teen to get ready to school?

Suprada · Jan 11, 2012

Hi,
I have a daughter who is 16, and she doesn't wake up in the morning. I have to wake her up for 10 min. After getting up also, she doesn't get ready fast. I have to keep on shouting at her. Even when she is in the bathroom, I have to knock the door for atleast 10 min before she comes out. I shout at her I say bad things to her like " From tomorrow I won't wake you up. If you get late, I won't drop you to school. You have to walk by yourself. (I drop her in the car.)" Then she says "Just because you are mad at me you are going to ruin my school record".
After she goes to school I feel bad, She is teenager and always she will be studying in her room. Even to get her to eat, I have to shout several times. I feel bad because, I won't spend too much time with her, and all the time i am shouting at her. What do you do? Have any ideas?

hemalathaK · Jan 11, 2012

Hi dear, I think this is quite common.My dd is just 7 years and I shout at her for taking so much time in the bath room.Let me see what others say

motherland · Jan 11, 2012

this is very common.thats why we call them teen age.when i was at this age i use to wake up late and all other teen thing. once u adult and more responsible things on u people change.

madhumathi1974 · Jan 13, 2012

HI suprada,

haha i kept laughing after reading your post hey dont feel bad dear, as iam too sailing in the same boat so i though ihave a companion in this situation. my elder son is 13yrs n he is in sec 3. what you said is routine for me iam bit strict but still this goes on n on. even my hubby is tired like n frustated sometimes. but we have to understand one fact that they r in teens n at this point of age they dont agree anyone's words r anything. they get realisation only whenthey reach 18 or 19. so we have to have patience n bear them. i dont say to be quiet without any thing but keep on your routine shouting . this is my personal opinion but iam happy that i shout but my kid never n never replies me back he says mom iam on doing. he gets angery but no reply he give.i think we have to keep on n on saying do this dont do that etc etc till they get at certian age. as my hubby says u will die with throat cancer one day so bettet record all these shoutings in recorder or ipod n play it everyday. hahah so what else can i say.i take it serious as well as easy as this is the age for them to do all these once they come to 19yrs they do all by them selves. sorry if had said anything wrong this is my personal opinion only.

Shanvy · Jan 13, 2012

suprada,

Teens and sleep patterns is the most researched subject right now. there is a shift in the patterns than what was earlier according to new studies. lot of things contribute to the shift.

From personal note as a mother of two teenagers who are different not only in gender but in every way possible. my dd is 16+ and my son is turning 14 this week..

We led by example. we always sleep early. whatever be the problem, we make it a point to eat and sleep early and wake up early. I always wake at 5.00/4.30 (though these days i suffer from insomnia) and i can stay late upto 12.00 or 1.00 in the morning..but we call off the day at around 9.30/10.00 and it then calm time at home..

when they were young it was sleeping at 9.00 to 9.30 and waking at 5.30. this continued till recent days that is till my daughter was in 9th. come 10th and the pressure at school and the worksheets, she started staying awake till 11 and 12. (the same daughter who would knock off at 9.00 even amidst a roaring party). during my suggestion sections (not advice) i told her that she could still sleep early and wake up fresh and do it at 4.00. her answer was, that though she was able to wake up at 4.00, she did not feel so fresh as she was when she was doing at 12.00 in the night. that is when i i needed to understand what is happening.

As teens, their bodies change, the hormonal play is different. as toddlers who needed more than 12 hours of sleep later shifting to 10 and then to another shift..the teens had a shift in their personal sleep rhythms, just like the aged.they could go on and on the whole night but waking up fresh and brisk was a problem with many.

the circadian rhythm is what is the name given to the internal clock. and the changes in their body, emotional balance changes the rhythm.

So, it is better you understand that, and talk to her. give her better nutritious food. help her understand that you are aware of the changes and her difficulty in getting up early. but would appreciate her to keep her bag,homework everything ready before she hits the bed, if she is finding it difficult to wake up early. she can adjust her personal bath session and things according to her time. but also tell her she needs to get in sync with her body and learn to respect it and get a good sleep which is very important in the long run.

Sleep deprivation in teens leads to depression, and other behavorial problems too..they end up cranky, angry...

Ask her to make a schedule, help her stick to that as a family. i know in many families, the working parents cannot stick to the schedule, but to help her, you could try for a few weeks, until she gets the hang.just like how we train our small babies to sleep .. after all she is still our baby right.

Stop all those caffeine, chocolates from the afternoon sessions. do not allow her to indulge in these as they play havoc in the sleep pattern.

Cut the Tv/internet time as a family.

and there is nothing wrong in being stern with your child. being firm and shouting are two different things. shouting will only make your child retort back harshly (at her age) or to bang a door (at my son's age) while being firm in your decision, and their knowing that your firm and are not going to give in, will make them realise.

All said, i realise, lot of things depend on the habits we cultivate. be it putting things in the correct place, or keeping their wardrobe neat.. it is no more gender thing..that girls are neater, calmer and blah blah..both have triggers and react to them equally..

All the best.