How To Get Along With Other People

You may have seen some posts on Toastmasters.

Now I am having trouble getting respect of some people from Toastmasters.

In the beginning, everyone was happy to have me. But I think when I started talking from the heart about things related to India, God, spirituality, maybe people started to stay away from me.

No one asks me to lunch except one lady who (1) has problem with social skills herself (2) looking for job in my organization

Now I realize if you behave too friendly to certain people too soon, they take advantage of you.

Even though I was elected President, the lady who was elected VP of Education is very nasty.

Just like a rattlesnake warns of attack, she has also been rattling, slowly warning she is a snake, but I failed to notice.

Other people would have seen that's why they either don't care, or are leaving the club.

And she is very comfrontational. Not to your face, but behind your back.

When we do speech, people are suppose dto give anonymous feedback. I know it is her giving nasty feedback like "I look arrogant" by not giving eye contact or even if I give eyecontact, especially to her, she still says I don't give eyecontact.

It was my mistake to allow her to be nominated and then elected as VPE in such a rush.

Now I fear she will put the brakes on me and everyone else trying to earn Competent Communicator, Competent Leader, etc.


When I joined Toastmasters, I thought I would be an a supportive environment that helps one another.

Now that I've been elected President, I need to stay till at least July of next year.

Otherwise the way I see it is going, I would move other another Toastmasters club.

And I'm trying to get one started at work so at least I don't take too much personal time.


I guess I wish to learn social skills, how humans behave, how human act.

I think the nasty lady who is VPE had bad experiences
- faced lot of discrimination because she is black
- father abandoned family
- who knows what other problems


I am certain if I was white she wouldn't dare disrespect me, but because I am Indian, and I act outside the box, i.e. telling speeches that are different than usual, plus not knowing social skills I get this problem.

When I told my Dad slight hint of this he said, "See, people see your weakness, and then they exploit you."

Then how am I supposed to learn social skills, and how to get along with people.

I know from experience that people from India will be nice because they want citizenship and easy life in USA. They don't necessarily care about you as a person.

So why not try to get along with people in USA and maybe then a miracle will happen, i.e. matrimony.

And I notice lot of the decent members who have families and a new baby are no longer attending. They certainly don't need to .

Guys, I apologize if my thoughts are disorganized.

Exercise gives me a rush of thoughts and perhaps you can guide me in this part of the journey called life.

Thank you guys!

 

I believe you are right.

Few weeks ago I painted picture of my late Grandfather who was Sikh in Turban.

When I showed my Dad he was alarmed I did painting in public because people will think I am Muslim (this is in USA). I even wrote thread on this because I was so upset.

I guess this is balancing act for doing things from heart PLUS elevating other people, praising their culture, their background .

 

I totally agree.

Stress started when I became President because I am learning to deal with different people. And when they don't respect me I am thinking it is because of the topics I choose, or because I am overly friendly. I learned that if you are overly friendly, people take advantage of that, and try to walk all over you.

Now I am keeping low profile, not joking around too much, just being cordial and respectful.

As a matter of fact, I am re-doing lot of Leadership project just to learn to be (1) good listener (2) attentive to other's needs

But yet, this has been a learning experience.

The President term is till Jul 2017, so I will try to tough it out.

Hopefully I can get a Toastmasters started at my organization, perhaps that will be less stressful.

Thank you for the feedback, dear