How To Engage A Workaholic Husband To Have Some Intimacy

Good.you are lucky to have good in-laws..I think the problem lies in your husband

 

So tell us the current situation..... after your famous "shimla act"... did hedo IT again?
I think it has been over 2weeks going by your posts since you both "Shimla-ied" togethr?
How does he behave otherwise? -Does he touch you often/put arms around you while sitting or talking....?
Does he try to know about your interests and how was your day etc?
Does he try to know and understand your needs/dreams/desires ?

 

Dear, sex is not some chore to be planned like your husband does. It should be spontaneous, desired and needed by both the spouses. He really has something on his mnd that stops him to get intimate - maybe he thinks if his focus is more on you and sex then he may not be able to focus on his work but you really need to demand him the reason for why not tonight n why sometime later?

There seems no couple bonding between you both. Seriously your husband needs to be told "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". He needs a counselling...and who can be a better counsellor than YOU- the wife herself.
Please gather all your patience and sit him down and very gently express your every inner desire and feelings to him. He is your soulmate afterall. He married you with promises to be with you and care for you.

Hmmm....lack of communication and emotinal connection is what is preventing the physical intimacy here.

Try to ask him out frequently for dinners or ask him to accompany you for a 10min walk in the night before going to sleep. If he is reluctant, make a puppy face and say "plleeeeeaaassseee". Once he comes out with you... just hold his hand as you both walk along...just try to connect to him emotionally.

Take him for romantic movies...and hold his hand or even rest on his shoulder while watching.... you can do that even in the comfort of your bedroom if you have tv or even on laptop. Just think of the ideas to be as much close to him as possible.

If he is only for 3hrs at home and still is in work mode, don't nag him but gently go kiss him and ask how was his day.... or give him a relaxing head massage and assure him that you will be by his side always and you know how hard he works and how much you appreciate him.

Men don't understand the love language as we do. For them, these simple gestures and constant assurance of support will make them trust us as their companions and will open up to us.


I'm also married for a lil more than a year and even I'm understanding slowly all this. I'm very frank and honest which led to terrible fights and distance among us but now I'm understanding that if we want to change the thinking of husbands, we need a lot of patience and if we show them through our lil gestures that we are with them, they will def turn around and come to us.

Let me kow if this works out for you

on a thoughtful note, really I wonder about God's/destiny's choices about our partners and marriage.
Just take a look at you and me... both are married for an year and both are here regarding marriage prob but on diff levels.

You have lovely non-interfering inlaws and an honest hardworking mature husband but you lack intimacy while I have super irritating inlaws and ahusband who is immature but we have great sex life.

I wish and pray we both have our probs solved and have a great married life ahead.

 

Are couples allowed to hold hands in public ? Couldn't this depend entirely on the norms of the town they live in ?

 

lol... i can understand about kissing in public being an issue with moral policing but holding hands too is a taboo? I don't know... me and dh openly hold hands in public... more so in crowded areas.
My dh even hugs me and say goodbye in public whenever we are leaving [ as we are in distant relationship]