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How To Engage A Workaholic Husband To Have Some Intimacy

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by AngelNew, Feb 10, 2017.

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  1. Feb 10, 2017 #1
    AngelNew

    AngelNew Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Ladies
    I am back with a issue that has been troubling me for a while that how can a man abstain for having any kind of intimacy with his newly weeded wife for more than 1 year and all his mind is filled with his work and case all the time and even when I try to initiate to have some action he just ignore says that he is tired and sleep right away. I am happy to get any advice on how you all deal with a husband whose mind 24/7 is into his work and nothing else in his life. I had my share of fun before marriage but my husband did not had any kind of relationship before getting to know me so It might this reason he does not the importance of intimacy in life so any advice will be appriciated
     
    AngelNew, Feb 10, 2017
    AngelNew, Feb 10, 2017
    #1
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  2. Feb 10, 2017 #2
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op...this is not normal for any man.
    Talk to him ,tell him that this is not acceptable.
    Work is not an excuse every time. Most normal men find sex as a stress reliever .
    It is time to take this seriously .
    I am amazed why people not interested in sex go through the trouble of getting married at all.
     
    yellowmango, Feb 10, 2017
    yellowmango, Feb 10, 2017
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  3. Feb 11, 2017 #3
    AngelNew

    AngelNew Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks for replying yay I need to talk but I dont know from where to start as he is always doing his work like a donkey and If ask we need to talk he says later and in my mind why tourtue me like that and what to do to make him understand mine frustration .I know some men marry for the sake of society and parents pressure but in reality they dont want to marry at all
     
    AngelNew, Feb 11, 2017
    AngelNew, Feb 11, 2017
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  4. Feb 11, 2017 #4
    Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    Questions:
    1 What is the age difference between you and your husband ? Who is older ?
    2. What is his work ?
    3. Did you two ever have any sex, ever, at all ?

    Ramakrishna Paramohamsa and his wife Sarada Devi are a well known case of big age difference, husband so engrossed in work to bother with sex, husband also had borderline issues about gender identity, and their marriage was arranged to appease extended family and society. It worked out beautifully because Sarada Devi went along with her husband's activities and supported his work. If you could get involved with his work, he'd suddenly not find it so attractive.
     
    Nonya, Feb 11, 2017
    Nonya, Feb 11, 2017
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  5. Feb 11, 2017 #5
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Ask him that.Ask him why you are being punished for no fault of yours.
    Ask him what he wants you to do....talk to parents of both sides?talk to counselor?

    He is a lawyer....he should know the law regarding this.
     
    yellowmango, Feb 11, 2017
    yellowmango, Feb 11, 2017
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  6. Feb 11, 2017 #6
    AngelNew

    AngelNew Bronze IL'ite

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    Nonya dear the answer to your question
    Questions:
    He is older to me and the difference between is of around 3 year
    He is a criminal lawyer for 3 years and he works like a donkey without any care to any person unless necessary
    He has not even kissed me let alone to have sex that is what is frustrating me like hell
     
    AngelNew, Feb 11, 2017
    AngelNew, Feb 11, 2017
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  7. Feb 11, 2017 #7
    AngelNew

    AngelNew Bronze IL'ite

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    Yay Dear I am also the same opinion that he should atleast tell me what is his problem but he does not even reply he will just say we will talk later and I am like wow men like him are also in this world banging all my mind for reasons :smash2::BangHead::BangHead::BangHead::BangHead::BangHead:
     
    AngelNew, Feb 11, 2017
    AngelNew, Feb 11, 2017
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  8. Feb 11, 2017 #8
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Tell him you need to talk and ask him to give you time/appointment for it .Don't let him make excuses.Be calm but firm.
     
    yellowmango, Feb 11, 2017
    yellowmango, Feb 11, 2017
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  9. Feb 11, 2017 #9
    AngelNew

    AngelNew Bronze IL'ite

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    Nice suggestion dear instead of talking to a husband it is best if a ask his time like a client then I am sure he will just give the time to ask all my question and remedy for my trouble. I am amazed how he can abstain for such long time to give his wife a simple kiss. It is Saturday I am alone in the house lazying around while he is off doing work
     
    AngelNew, Feb 11, 2017
    AngelNew, Feb 11, 2017
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  10. Feb 11, 2017 #10
    Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    I am a TV junkie. Watched many old shows on late night TV, a channel called Nick at Nite. Your answers reminded me of a Perry Mason (criminal lawyer) episode called "The Case of the Sulky Girl".
    Do you get to talk to him about his cases ? Get interested in his work and find out what is going on in his cases. That is how many of the famous criminal case solvers get into relationship with their female sidekicks in novels. It is a good thing that your dh is not too old, like Hercule Poirot, or Sherlock Holmes. Poirot liked food, better than girls, and well.. Sherlock Holmes liked Watson.
    I think getting interested in his work would get you somewhere; otherwise you are making yourself more of an unnecessary fixture in his life.
     
    Nonya, Feb 11, 2017
    Nonya, Feb 11, 2017
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