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How To Deal When Parents Interfere In Your Married Life..

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Twinkel, Nov 21, 2019.

  1. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    Dividing property and sharing income are two different problems.
    I think your mother is being impatient. You are having a kid after a long struggle. At this point either tell your mom that you don't want to interfere in your husband's property matter or involve your dad to calm her down. Why spoil the happiness of the family at this moment ? if you get the property like land it is hard to manage from different state without considerable effort from your husband . What is your take on income sharing ?
    Are you going to decline if offered ?
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2019
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  2. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    This is the time for you to be less stressful without any drama.
    Tell your mom politely that you and DH are really not interested in that income currently and you may discuss the same in future. Explain your mom that this issue is making you stressful and not to interfere in these things.
     
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  3. googleearth

    googleearth Silver IL'ite

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    I am going to give you a simpler solution - white lie
    I don't think your mom has access to your accounts and can see the cash flow, just tell her you talked to your husband and now he will be getting his share also because of that your MIL will be staying with you half the time. I am sure she will have opinion about the later part :)
     
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  4. KayKuyil

    KayKuyil Silver IL'ite

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    I agree this may just sort it out for now..and can be maintained long term too..:tonguewink:
     
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  5. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

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    @Twinkel
    This is not the time to think anything other than yourself. Please tell your mother that you do not have the bandwidth now, and won't have it in next 5 years.

    Parental property and the income involved and involved taxes etc, are done by you but actually it is a way to of safe keeping for your future generations. It is your duty towards your future offspring to accumulate that income and keep the property in good standing.
    Your mother is not wrong to suggest this, but it is a bad timing.

    Property and related income have nothing to do with what you and your husband earn. Think of yourself as the gatekeepers of the wealth acquired by inheritance/ property. You should not make a hasty decision on this things and definitely not now.

    People in US sometimes find it very hard to manage land in India and also they feel the sibling who is in India is taking care of parents etc, they make an informed decision. Their case is different.

    In your case, since you are in India, you should look into this matter- but definitely not now- may be in 5 years time. Make an informed decision, and don't be sacrificing, since you are only a 'guardian' for the inheritance. Your mother has been a working woman, so she adept in money matters. Also, she says it as she sees it. She is concerned. All her experiences will benefit you in future when you try to balance work and family.

    You are lucky to have loving/ doting MIL and loving/ concerned mother, enjoy them both!
    Enjoy your pregnancy. Tell mother that all this "money matters" increases your stress level and hence is not good for you.
     
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  6. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    When someone offers money, isn't it tradition not to reject Sri Laskhmi when she wants to come in ? Open a bank account, and let the money be direct deposited. This sort of direct transfers remove the crassness of actual bundles of currency notes being given or taken among close relatives.

    Tell mummy you had arranged (or would arrange) for money transfers into a twins-college-fund, set your and her mind at peace and go on to have healthy babies.
     
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  7. Twinkel

    Twinkel Platinum IL'ite

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    As mentioned, I've already said that, and mom backs off and keeps quite for few days, but then starts again in few days..

    Yeah, may be I should learn to ignore or divert the topic cleverly every time she brings this up..
     
  8. Twinkel

    Twinkel Platinum IL'ite

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    Exactly my point. Property is going nowhere as my mom is worried, as it's in the title of my late fil and so both the brothers are default legal heirs and my bil or cosis has no sole right to make any deals with property as my mom thinks.. also, they would never do that.
    As my mil is being taken care of by them, as in medical, travel (she loves traveling) , general and other expenses, we may not accept if offered, as of now. My mom suggested making 3 equal shares, but we aren't keen on that too..
     
  9. Twinkel

    Twinkel Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes, I may postpone the matters temporarily for peace of my mind ..
     
  10. Twinkel

    Twinkel Platinum IL'ite

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    Yeah, why didn't I just think of this?? o_O but then, as outspoken as my mom is, she'll some day get the topic with in laws and express that she's happy that we are all sharing income on property, leaving all of us embarrassed :BangHead: but for now, I think this works.
    She'll definitely like if my mil agrees to stay with us for half of the time, because my mil's gem of a person. Me, dh, my parents, all of us want that but my mil can never adjust in city atmosphere for more than a month ... we've tried that :blush:
     

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