How To Deal This Problem With In-laws?

OP, I just shared one incident. That's all.
You are the best one to judge your situation. You are the only one who knows the depth. These are just suggestions and options. You need to decide what you want in your life. The level of tolerance level varies from person to person. In my experience it is always better to be oneself than changing our personality or likes beyond our level of adjustment. It is very suffocating. It is very difficult to live like a bird in a golden cage. It is better not to allow others to control you beyond your comfort level. We don't need to be negative or aggressive or always fighting. we need to take the situation with a positive attitude and decide what works for us- ignoring, neglecting, or talking straight or handle it diplomatically, whatever.

If you dont say you dont like christian devotional song, how can he know. Be strong and communicate well.

May be a job will make you more confident to lead your life with dignity or may give you diversion from these control freaks. Never take any decision when you are angry or frustrated. Face life with a calm and cool mind. Be positive and strong. Good luck.

 

Next time she does this, politely reply "blue dress is a very good one, I will wear it for a grander function/occasion and wear the orange one

This is a serious red flag None has the right to delete playlists/music from laptop or mobile. You have your own tastes. If he likes devotional songs, let him listen to it. Try using earphones to listen to the music you want to.

 

You need to really stand up for yourself. I can;t understand how you can let them have so much control of your life. Live life the way you want to and if they get use, threaten to leave yourself. You really need to put an end to this.

 

There are many shaadi match making websites; why aren't there websites to match contingency* divorce lawyers with les miserables trapped in homes, under watch, and with no escape ?

[*get paid from what they can extract from the malefactor**
**gets you to wonder about the etymology of that word, eh?]

 

U r newly married so u r feeling dull... after few months u will b used to it. Most of the family r like this only...u can’t change ur in laws ...if ur sil is friendly just speak to her or try to change ur husband that’s the only solution ....if both was not happening just adjust for few years slowly ur husband will understand...

 

Op you are married into the family of control freaks. You only seem to have two choices left either to give in and get controlled or take charge of things. Start small like wearing clothes of your choice. You do not have to be blunt to make your way. But if your mil in law decides your clothes gently tell her that Maa sorry but i have decided to wear this , the dress you chose for me I will wear it on next function. Choose your battles very wisely. Do not expect your husband to stand up for you, it looks like that sonny boy still hasn't left mommy's finger. Try to start walking to you work without fils help. Next time go little bit early but do not tell him that you need to go early, or finish work early and come home yourself.

In this battle and all the others yet to come your relationship to self and the divine will never disappoint you. Never expect undesired circumstances as the last resort. If your husband threatens you with the D word tell him that you both need this marriage equally, First lets work on this marriage and if nothing else works then that that option is always there. Never loose your cool. Be selective in your words and tone. If your husband starts a fight or something just lets not talk about this. Regarding your mil disliking the things coming from your parents, isn't it lovely saves your parents a lot of hassle of buying things for your in laws. Next time get gifts only for yourself and thats all. Do not paint a rosy picture of your marriage in front of your parents.

All these problems can be tackled with a very mature mind and a lot of thick skin. People will always push you around but only if you let them. If you can, do make an effort read this book The Power of constructive thinking by Emmet Fox you can download the pdf version free of cost on your tablet or laptop. do try to fit Prayers, meditation and yoga in your routine, it helps clear the mental fog and boosts your self esteem. Remember you are your own best friend and big support. Do not bring a baby into this world untill you have sorted all the concerns about your marriage first.

To all the younger generation who are on the verge of getting married. Times have drastically changed, Please do not get married without being financially independent. Always keep the window of at least one year between getting engaged and getting married. its important to know each other before you tie the knot.

 

Any hope for job change or transfer?