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How To Deal Money Matter With In-laws

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by lakshya2018, Oct 11, 2018.

  1. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    Ok,
    This is an issue which will cause conflict whether you you control your finances or oil manages finances .

    You are already viewing them with suspicion and lots if doubt , so you think in long run you won't have earn tent and conflict due to the resentment.

    It is better to cause conflict now and get your finances under control ,,,, people have given lot if ideas just follow those and invest say these are fix tax savings , if FIL does not know tell him how much tax it will save and in longer term how
    Much interest is earned .be tactical to husban and FIL don't mention it as you want to manage finances but your office offers this provisions .

    In my min this handing over of salary should have vanished when we got direct deposits of salary by companies into bank accounts .

    Looks like some still stay in ore banking era ....
     
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  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Stop giving your salary to them from now on. Just say I am saving it
     
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  3. lakshya2018

    lakshya2018 Bronze IL'ite

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    yes my salary directly credited to my bank account. I have take every month & keep it in home. Because house locker is safer than keeping my money in bank acc itself ha ha ha:facepalm:
     
  4. Marchmommy

    Marchmommy New IL'ite

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    Hi lakshya,

    I am living with my in-laws joint family.. give one standard amount to my mil for food.. other than that cosmetics phone bill dress purchase our bedroom needs like bed spread pillow cover and all other expenses we buy from our pocket. My hubby and myself we never informed about our salary.. now am not working after kids born.. I was working when I was newly married for 2 years.. before marriage itself my hubby told me not to inform the salary details to In-laws. So even when they asked me I told some small amount as standard salary and balance will be some incentives like that..

    Why can't u and ur hubby handle money matters.. Pls wake up... PIL Never ever care about future of daughter in laws.. when ur mil can take jewels for her why can't she buy for uu.. Becoz u r their daughter in law not their daughters. Seriously cost of living in india is very expensive now a days.. it will become very difficult after kids.. pregnancy,scan medicine,kids needs, donation and fees for lkg the list is endless.. I am telling this not to afraid u.. it's a fact.. so pls save some small amount every month..

    U give only small amount for ur food expenses..for d balance amount get a cold coin even for 1 gram every month..later u can get a big jewels exchanging the coins.. or else u can save in other way which ever is possible for uu.. it's your money you are the.boss for your salary.. so take care and all the best dear...
     
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  5. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dont take money out. Say bank is safe
     
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  6. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    This is what I would do. Find out what the monthly expenses are. Then tell them DH and I will take care of the monthly bills ourselves . That way you have contributed and know where your money is going. The downside though is that you have additional things and chores to worry about.
    Your MIL cooks for everyone. She is a housewife. If it were me I would give her a certain amount each month as a token of gratitude. What she does with that amount is her choice.
    It is always good to invest and it also leaves less free cash and questions from others. Tie up your money in FD’s and other investments.
    Communicate clearly how much you can contribute each month. There should be no unreasonable expectations and disappointments. In India traditionally men are in charge financially . Seeing women that are in charge of finances is still a new concept to some and look upon negatively . Don’t feel guilty or distressed about it.
     
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  7. Deborah

    Deborah Gold IL'ite

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    Well, you will have to take the bull by its horns someday with or without your H's support . Don't be scared . They can't keep surprising you with unexpected bills every other month. There is nothing wrong in asking your FIL what bills he expects you to pay.
     
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  8. lakshya2018

    lakshya2018 Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you each and everyone for ur valuable suggestions and ur time. It means a lot.
     
    Marchmommy likes this.
  9. parvathi1980

    parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

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    They are good to you as you have given your entire salary to them. Your husband is not going to change if you remain polite. Better to make things clear and see their true colours now before its too late. Don't plan kids. Your in laws are greedy and your husband is spineless.
     
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  10. lakshya2018

    lakshya2018 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Thanks for your suggestions. My husband spoke with his parent about buying me gold jewel from my salary so far i gave them. They said ok. (not whole heartily) . My MIL deciding what type of jewel have to buy for me. She s very much affected that saving are leaving from her hand...After my son said going to buy me jewel... She always saying income not enough for monthly expenses blah blah ... but we have enough money and savings her prob is its for me.
    In my previous post, I said she recently bought gold chain for her and now she s not satisfied with the chain so she want to buy another chain for daily use(not exchange , want to new one :angry:) ... when it comes to her there s no income issues , for me they dont have money.

    I think this is never ending prob or i should think wisely to avoid them poking in my matters. I convinced my husband to invest some in gold. I explained him with examples and more investment plans he was happy. When he said his mom that he s going to buy gold coin every month or twice a month .. my mil said no need to waste money in gold.

    Gold rate is high now. if you buy now, rate will go down in future ... so dont do it like that and all. ufff.
     

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