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How To Deal/ Mingle With Neighbors

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Jas82688, Jun 23, 2019.

  1. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    It is sad, especially it affects the kids when they see their friends are invited to a party and they are not.
    How long have you been living there? If it not too long do not worry about it. Also, try seeing people on play dates, strike up a conversation. Ask them about themselves (people love to talk about their family). Keep meeting people, I am sure one of them will hit it off with you. If it is a new place do not miss any neighborhood gatherings or an invited party. you can bake some cookie or something and take it to next door neighbor to say hi. invite them over to lunch or dinner or tea to get to know (this might work for not so immediate neighbors or even near by town acquaintances) . When then come home, initially have a plan to entertain them. it will help getting to know. it might take a few tries to find right people. Sometimes, the people you are mentioning in the post might already have a group of friends and they might not want include you in their circle. Ask them directly if there is a group that they hang out with. What kind of activities they do, if you like any of them, ask them if you can join them for that. If they say no, take it easy, if you get to go, you might find more friends there. America is a place where you dont et anything if you didnt ask.
     
  2. Jamelia02

    Jamelia02 Silver IL'ite

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    It can take more than a year before you can acquaint and make friends. It needs constant effort to make it happen. And since may be you have moved recently to the community and your neighbors would have already had circle, they are probably contended with that. Well let me tell you how we slowly connected. It was all my dh's effort...
    1. So one summer, when his company had given discount coupons for a branded retail shop that everyone would love to shop, he immediately got few more and shared to our neighbors when they were outside either gardening or mowing the lawn. They did appreciate it.
    2. He will never miss a chance to chat with them while parking the car after work, talk to them about the flowers in their garden and ask them about planting information without annoying them.
    3. Very important, my dh tries to be informative and will pass on several information onto which people show interest listening to them. No wonder why we say 'Information is Wealth!'.
    4. He does take initiative and offers help. For ex, he was going to give of our couch to GoodWill and he was arranging them in the garage and was going to rent a small truck. Our neighbor who saw said he too had long pending items to be disposed. My dh immediately offered to take his things too.
    5. We initiated barbecue party at our backyard and invited just our neighbors.

    These are some of the thing you could try. That said please ensure you make the right friends. You don't have to deliberately do something if you don appreciate your self.

    Always smile and show interest in being part of them! There could be kitty party. It takes time but don't get stressed out. Eventually it will happen. Good luck.
     
    Angela123 likes this.
  3. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    Friendship..... Seems you have understood this term wrongly.

    Not everyone who says hi and bye are our friends. Not our neighbors whom we happen to chat or meet during some occasions are friends.
    They are just acquaintance, that's all.
    Just that, sometimes we can feel some chemistry clicking between us and our neighbors, that would blossom as friendship later on.

    In your case, they may be friends... and you are just an acquaintance for them. Hence they did not want to closely mingle with you.
    Nothing wrong with you or the way you behave with them. Nothing wrong in your H being introvert either.
    Friendship is accepting our friends as who they are. It is not accepting someone with a rich background or benefits. Got it?

    And for kids, do they really need a friend in their neighborhood?
    My kids never had one.
    They of course have friends at their school and weekend classes for now. They have close bond with their cousins. They are two siblings, so there is some friendship for them to play/chat and do things jointly.
    What else do they have with neighbors?

    In any case if they happen to grow friendship with neighbor kids, let it be. Let their friendship blossom naturally. Don't force any relationships. It won't work that way
     
  4. Neelaa

    Neelaa Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi @Jas82688
    Am also n same situation as yours. I live in Europe. I see families coming and going every month for many reasons. I am maintaining Hi-Byekind of relationship. I talk to them when I meet them outside, make my kids play with their kids, just enjoy their company, I won't go beyond that. I keep them as acquaintance only. Some have become closer now, still not too close. Keeping less expectation helped me from getting disappointed.
    I mades friends with my kids school friend's moms. Invited them few times for teas. Now I have few friends. Hope this helps.
     

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