How To Cut Off From Mean People

How long have you tried this?

If it was a few days, it may be too soon for them to get the hint. If it is several weeks, then they might get the hint.


Someone was pretending to be my friend to taunt me. Eventually I gave one word replies after a day. Afterwards I deleted the emails. Now I don't hear from this person anymore. This happened over the course of months.

 

OP, your acquaintances love you. They think you are a kind person, who would not mind if they come to you only when they need help. You do not need the usual maintenance niceties, and fake obeisances.
Though very difficult to turn a nice person into a nasty one, and cut off the nuisances you don't need, it comes at a cost. Don't do it.
Instead, keep a diary of who you helped, what is their connection to you (husband's office mate's wife, husband's friend etc), how late they called for help, and how you helped. After this goes on for six months, review that. You'll see what a good person you had been. That would be your reward.

 

Think so

 

Iam in the same situation too. I’m like their choice whenever they need help. That’s it. I feel like they are just utilising me just to get the information which I know but they will not share. How to avoid such people.

 

OP- maybe I am not getting the real issue here but this is how most working people act. My local friends and I barely ever call each other. We usually text about weekend plans, kids activities, or if some event is going on that we plan to attend and let our friends know in case they want to join. Picking up kids etc can’t be planned since it’s an emergency. I have called my stay at home mom friend in emergency when our babysitter cancelled and husband and I had to be at an event. My friend picked up my kids from home and took care of them for 3 hours.
There have been occasions when my friend called me a few times because she needed some information but didn’t have time to chat when I returned the call. People get busy, what’s the big deal.
Don’t have expectations if you want to help people. Do it if you enjoy helping but if it bothers you, stop helping.
Between my friends and I we don’t keep tabs on who helped whom. Most of the time it’s my friends helping me more than I help them. I appreciate it wholeheartedly and thank my lucky stars for such wonderful friends.

 

Vedavalli, you seem to think everyone around you takes advantage of you. While this might be true with some it is not always the case . You need to be well equipped to recognize the ones that genuinely need help and weed out the rest. Don’t be too cynical. There are good people in this world .

 

That's how the world survives.
I think real "friendships" end with the student life. Once you are done with studies and start earning/married ...you have to deal with real world where 95% people will only want you for their benefits.
5% are the genuine friends and family who will be with you irrespective of whether you can do anyrhing for them or not.

And who knows, one day you may need someone's help....so its all part of life. You help with what you can...
If someone is openly manipulative and using u then you should definitely avoid them.
But if someone is being nice to you and occasionally asks your help that too which u feel is doable then do it....n if u need anything u can ask her help too.

 

I agree with other posters. Working women with small kids don't have time to call chat or plan get togethers, dinners, parties but they need help with kids. Please do not think that they are taking your advantage. Someday u will be in their place. When my kids were small I asked for help from friends. Those who helped me I consider them as my true lifelong friends and helped them in their need. If you can help someone please do it without judging or expecting anything.