How To Cope Without Parents Abroad

Planning on having in six months ?
Isn't your doctor able to tell you the date of your baby's arrival ?
You will have six months of euphoria and gloom. That is just how the travel on the family way is.
Eat well and watch your weight gain.

 

I

I think op meant having baby(trying for baby/getting pregnant) after 6 months..



@capricious

Welcome to IL.

I have moved usa just an year back. And yes i do miss India, family and stuff.

I have a toddler n feel bad when my parents wait for his videos n video call, and cant hug/kiss their grandson. My mom keeps telling if he was here we could meet him weekly or atleast monthly..

Once you have kid , ask your parents stretch their visit to your place. And try to make a visit annually with kid to your native..


My sil did this... she had my mil 6 months, mil goes back native a month finish bank n other work and again return usa. They did this till kids turned 3years.. Now my sil visits india 3 months a year in summer. She wants to do this atleast till kids turn 10years n oppose going India or expect to take real vacations or Other activities in summer

 

The homesickness / missing India will not go away at any age or even when you lived longer in abroad. It will be there always, when you get busy with your life, career, kids and friends, you will not have much time to think about it.

 

Your mom is right.

 

Saying again, you make me laugh , woman !

 

@capricious - These are your pregnancy hormones . I felt the same way .You are indeed lucky that parents meet you semi annually .Your mother is right. Wait for the baby and you won't have much time to think about stuff like heading back. But you will end up admiring and respecting your mother even more. Sleep as much as you can right now ( trust me on this) , chat / FaceTime your parents daily . Eat well and enjoy this time. Once the baby is here, parents ( both sides) will be visiting more frequently.All the best.

 

Dear OP,
I dont think its your hormones or a temporary feeling. But you are a person who are attached to parents and India more than abroad. Especially the sentence where you said, you feel the life in India is Rosy and feel like seeing parents every weekend.
I always felt like you and i really hate myself that i didnt plan to go back to India. Even after having kids, no matter how busy i got, feeling is always everyday in mind. now i feel like a complete looser and got stuck in US. I feel its the biggest mistake of my life. I did not had the maturity to know my heart the first year i came USA and i would have returned back. For money and career i stayed back thinking once we earn enough will go back. But now my kids and husband are completely against and i got stuck here.
Especially when we all kids are in USA and parents are in India. It gets even more tough when parents get some health issue.

Then there are many of my friends. who are not at all homesick, They invite parents to USA and feel its the best way of living life quoting even staying in India forever will bring relationship issues etc. so these short visits are good. They feel India is dirty, pollution and traffic with no luxuries. etc etc.

I agree its not easy in India. Maid problems, pollution, traffic, people are not honest etc. Still i feel sad every day that i couldnt move back to India. I dont feel any happiness bringing my mom to USA for visit or even my dad when he was alive.

 

Op..
I guess you came to usa before getting married. Just a guess..
life is rosy in India before marriage and not soo much after. But,having a sister and not a brother has some perks. You are still princess to ur parents. No sil or other family living with ur parents is a blessing. That way you can enjoy in India if u move there.
But there are many things ..like ur inlaws, relatives, etc who will all seem soo different and always poking nose in our lives. If that part is good .. then u should move to India,cuz especially u have a sis and when ur parents age and not in a good medical condition u will feel the blow. So, plan for that long term thing now. Ur parents age, medical condition, care taker etc. Moving to india is super easy, but coming to usa is tough if needed.
My story: I have a sis and no brother. Came to usa for Masters, got married and felt the void. Same with H. We moved to india after a decade in usa. Got jobs easily with good pay. Bought properties,had kid, etc. But I had constant fights at the inlaws front..soo much so that neither us, nor inlaws nor my parents were happy. My parents indeed dreaded if they get a call late in the night.. no infact for single call ..morning or night. Positive things were..i really got to spend time with my parents, travelled, started realizing the importance of freedom and standing up for myself. I felt as a one woman army.
Anyways, i am back in usa now, things r soo much different now.. Have a thick skin to changes in life and got the guts to move back to india or help myself here if needed.
Dont fall into x+1 syndrome. Just move to india if ur H is thinking on same lines. Having no brother is a disadvantage in this case as the daughter needs to shoulder the responsibility in old age of parents(which i feel is a blessing given by God)