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How to cope separation anxiety?

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by SupriyaDinesh, Sep 3, 2008.

  1. SupriyaDinesh

    SupriyaDinesh Silver IL'ite

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    Dear friends,
    My son has started going to a day care 3 half days.I wanted him to spend time with other kids and surroundings apart from me.he has been going from 4 days.He cries and clinges a lot.I feel so bad to leave him there and come.
    Staffs there assure that he will be fine infew days.He participates actively in all activities sobbing and crying(not a loud one with tears).I get upset when I come back.
    How to cope up with this and make my son happy to go there?
     
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  2. mangaii

    mangaii Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Supriya,
    Keep talking.Thats the only way they will get it.
    What do the caretakers do when he cries ?Do they give more attention to him.I talked to S class teacher asking them to give her more time for a day or two that one worked.She was totally fine by 3rd day.Does he calm down when you leave or he keeps crying till you get him back .
    And also ask about some classmates name and talk to him about them.
    I think crying will be there for a week and after that it will stop.
    Thanks
    Mangai
     
  3. SupriyaDinesh

    SupriyaDinesh Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Mangai,
    The staff there take extra care.he cries through out.I think the langauge of communication is also making him hostile.One of my neighbours daughter also in the same room.But he doesnt bother to look at her.
    Even i am hoping he will be ok by a week but still I feel bad about it.
     
  4. Anandchitra

    Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Supriya
    dont worry and do not give up too..
    Sometimes its not easy.. I used to try leaving kid with friends too.. they will soon get the hang of it and be fine.good luck:)
     
  5. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Supriya,

    We all have been there:) 4 days sobbing is no big deal. And also don't worry about communication. Kids have this great power of expressing themselves, come what may! My boy was put into a german day-care which neither of us speak at home and he has managed very well. Even now after a long week-end or so my son is a bit uneasy to leave me (he's been there about a year). It is quite natural. But to be frank mothers suffer more from this anxiety than the child. And the child can sense that. Console yourself first that you are doing this for his good.. he needs to get social, play with his own age-group and develop such skills.

    I have seen some children cry upto 2 weeks but they do get fine. Talk to your son positively about the day care. They do and will understand. If he does join in the activities despite the sobbing then he's already there. So don't worry...

    Latha
     
  6. sindhup

    sindhup New IL'ite

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    It is very common for kids to act like that at this age. My son went to daycare from year 1-2 (no problems - too young to really realize), then stayed at home with grandparents from 2-2.5 years old, now going to a preschool for the past 6 months. He took about a month to fully adjust (drop off without crying). One thing you can do is to hide and see how he does after you leave. Or you can come back after 5 minutes and peek at the classroom - without hom seeing you. In most cases, they settle down. However they do remember about you every now and then and will cry. Eventually, they will learn and adjust.

    We just came back from a 3 week vacation to India and it is like starting daycare all over again! It is so traumatic and stressful for me that I wish I never went! But I peek at him after 5 minutes, and he has settled down. He also talks to me about his activities there, and all his friends, so I know he is not upset all the time...
     
  7. kavya007

    kavya007 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Supriya,

    When I sent my son to daycare when he was a year old I gradually transitioned him into the environment. I would first let him spend an hour there and then gradually increased the time. Before dropping and picking him up, I would play with him in his room for sometime. That way I also got a feel how things were being run in the daycare and how the caregivers were treating all the children. Some caregivers just ignore the kids when they are crying. The kids would beg them to lift them but they would ignore them. Luckily my son's primary caregiver was extremely loving. I usually used to drop him off during a time when there were interesting activities going on like outside playtime in the sand box. He would quickly get engrossed in the activity and forget about me. I hope this helps.

    Thanks,
    Kavya.

     
  8. vidhyalakshmid

    vidhyalakshmid Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,
    Many IL`ites gave you valuable suggestions. You laminate your
    family photo to wallet size. Put it in his pocket and tell him whenever
    he wants to see Mommy, he can see the photo. He may be consoled
    by seeing the photo. I read the above idea in one baby magazine.
     
  9. SupriyaDinesh

    SupriyaDinesh Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Mommies,
    Thank you all for your moral support.

    Dear AC,Hope my son copes soon.

    Dear Latha,
    He is communicating to his teacher.Today he told her he wanted to do pee-pee.Good to know that iam not alone.

    Dear Sindhu,
    I did so on first day.I stayed there for 4 hours peeping in through window.Next day i just called up to know he is fine.Infact we did 4-5 trial classes and he is used to the staffs.Hope he gets over it soon.

    Dear kavya,
    The caretakers are good and understanding.How ever interesting activity is going on he clinges and asks me to lift.I think 4 days is too early for me to expect.

    Dear vidhyalakshmi,
    You know,i had my parents photo till i was 8th std.. Big Laugh..i will do that.Infact they have a bulletin to put family photos.
     
  10. shvap_786

    shvap_786 Gold IL'ite

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    HI frnds...

    even i'm facing this prob now.... my DD was already going to nursery from sep... now she is into KG1... from apr to jun mid... after that till aug end it was summer vacation... now she is back to school after vacation....... daily she is crying from the time she gets up from the bed... daily the bus attendar has to pull her from me .... i really donno wht to do.....

    already it took long time for me to train her... but this vacation spoilt everything... i donno wht to do now... she keeps crying mamma i miss u in the school come with me.... dont leave me alone like she keeps crying inside the bus... i cant tolerate this...:cry::cry::cry:
     

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