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How To Communicate To Husband

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Kukudukuu, Oct 5, 2017.

  1. Kukudukuu

    Kukudukuu Silver IL'ite

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    I really appreciate and have to learn to be so so so optimistic such a sweetheart you are.. I wish you were my mil
     
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  2. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Talk only when speaker phone is on and only if your husband is there . If you take any calls and if he is not there, just limit talk with in hi and bye. If she start anything, cut the call.

    When you visit, behave very well in front of dh, talk minimum, try to avoid being alone with her. Be busy with ds. If you dont like anything completely ignore her efforts to talk, keep mum. Just show you dont care unhappy nagging
     
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  3. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    Lol :lol: watch what you wish for dear, you might fall in love with your mil after me;):roflmao:
     
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  4. Kukudukuu

    Kukudukuu Silver IL'ite

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    Yes I do it now.. I am with DS when we go there.. I make sure I am not around alone with them..
     
  5. Kukudukuu

    Kukudukuu Silver IL'ite

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    Hahahaa no regrets what so ever..
     
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  6. AAPriya

    AAPriya Bronze IL'ite

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    Dealing with in-laws directly is better. Say a sentence or two and cut the conversation short or change the topic. Act as if you don't understand what they say. Walk away if it gets too much to handle. Your peace and calmness is their failure.

    Why spoil the peace between your hubby and yourself by talking about them. If you do, you are giving in-laws what they want - which is - they don't want you both to have a cordial relationship.

    I recently learnt the power of ignorance and all the above from this community and how much it can do for me. It has given me a lot of peace of mind. Thank you to everyone!
     
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  7. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Then I think u need not say anything for now.go with the flow. Concentrate on what to do next and prioritise ur next step in life at home or career etc with positive attitude. Just my opinion.
     
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  8. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    Don't put anything down in writing. In all arms-length relationships (;)....), where there-is-yet something lacking in the trust, documents would make it hard to walk back.
    Act to preserve your sanity, safety, and future.
     
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  9. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    Agree 100% .. nothing in writing, no recorded audio /WhatsApp messages.. can backfire big time.. letters , if misplaced can get in wrong hands & recordings mistakenly forwarded / accessed.
     
  10. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    The point of the letter being mentioned was for the relevant points to be conveyed / communicated without any disturbance / interference.

    If you are worried about him using it against you, either give the paper, let him read in front of you n get the paper back right after him reading it n tear it off n throw it out, dats how it's actually done too.
    N also like I mentioned initially, the letter should be written in a non judgemental way that even if the concerned person reads it, they understand the point n not find it rude. As finger pointing never works.
    The point is to get the whole message without starting an argument. It has always worked for me when some really frustrating topic comes in the picture when we can't get two sentences out without it turning into an argument.

    Or use a timer period, like only you will talk for the first 15 mins, he must be quiet. N then he talks n u be quiet. No interference, no arguments, No voices raised, strictly only the relevant points to be mentioned. I have heard that some marriage counsellors does something like this to make the couple communicate without interference.

    Finding ways to communicate effectively may come with some practice n experience. Can try different options till the right one is found.


    AND after reading the posts from the other members about the letter being used against you by your own husband, guess some relationship should first reach that certain "trust" level first, if the basic trust isn't there, or if the letter is going to be mean or judgemental, then I do agree that it maybe difficult to try this option for em.
     
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2017
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