how to ask mil to leave us alone

Will you be able to manage with a maid?
You should not have told your dh directly....you should have told him things like " how can we trouble mummyji, she is already helping us here. We can manage with a maid, let her go home and take rest. She can come back after a cppl of months if she wants to see the baby...."

Tell him you will not feel comfortable just eating and sleeping in inlaws place...so you want to stay back in chennai and rest a bit....

 

Just for his satisfaction stay for few days with your mil and return saying you have to take care of ur dh food etc . How long will he stay without home cooked food etc.. Ne mil will always not tolerate their son to suffer even if their dils do . So go ahead just for namesake. And return quick.

 

Hugs to U !!

You went through so much in ur pregnency period.

Start behaving with her normally.Let her understnad that u r being good to her.make peace at home.

Then u can talk to u r husband reg this,if he still wants to you go with her do as Ramya suggested.

Hope you come out of this situation soon.

 

Hi Psharma

Sorry that you have to go throught all this without enjoying the company of yoru DS .Rightnow I think you should keep your health and your DS health in prirority .Tell him that you are not comfortable asking for help from MIL and need more rest and will go after the baby is 3 months old.DOn't make this as a complaint but say that YOu will not be comforatble nursing the baby or taking care of the baby alone in In laws place .IF he cannot understand just leave it and stay in your place he should calm down after sometime .

 

Do not force yourself to go if you don't want to go. You will have a hard time there. Try not to fight or argue with your husband about this but calmly tell him to understand that for these few months you need to stay at your own place as it would be more convenient for you to recover back from delivery and also feel comfortable handling the baby on your own. Your husband may not agree to this but just ignore all their dramas but don't agree to follow your MIL. Things will finally settle down and get back to normal.

 

I don't understand why now your hubby wants you to stay with her. If he is concerned about taking care of baby, then why instead he ask his mother only to stay here for 3 months. It seems that he feels like sandwiched, don't have balls to tell his mother anything and is fed up of tension created at home, so he himself want peace for few months and want you to bear all by going there. Sorry I am not telling this to turn you against your hubby, I know he must be loving you too, but when people can't take pressure, then it is natural that they will think about their own peace first. Can you make an excuse of gynac appointments. Can you tell him that gynac has told to meet every month since you have c-section. Also first talk to your doctor and take the doctor into confidence & explain ur situation. After that ask your husband to come with you to meet doctor, if he ask u to go alone, tell him that doctor suggested come with your husband, and then doctor him/herself should tell him that she needs to be here and need complete rest & don't send her anywhere right now as change of place and atmosphere will have bad effect on her health which will affect baby's health too. & doctor should do that without letting him know you have told doctor anything before. Can you tell him that baby need to be shown to pediatrician regularly every month during initial 6 months. Can you just tell him that I have read somewhere that though baby is little, it grasp the situation around it and it has effect on his entire life. So during initial six months of baby, both parents should be around it, so baby develop special bond with both parents & parents should ensure good atmosphere during this initial months. And study shows that in many cases when father is absent during initial 6 months from baby's life, then even later though father comes in picture, the baby may not develop special bond with him as he has with mother. If you tell him all this then tell everything tactfully that he should not doubt that you made it up or making an excuse so that u don't have to go.

And incase if he still insist that you should go then instead of going there, you can just tell him that I don't mind mil stays here instead to help you out. Though she stays here it would be difficult for u, but it is better than going to her place. Be polite to your hubby and stop complaining him. Don't talk about it to him. Let see if mil ask u directly to come with her, if she ask, then you can make excuse of gynac and pediatrician appointments and tell her that your hubby will have difficulty in staying alone as who will do all chores and cook for him. If she argues that he will manage then just firmly but politely hold your point and say but 3 months would be too long and you are told to visit doctor and pediatrician every 15 days as well so until child turn 6 months it wouldn't be possible. And also try to do as sadwife suggested. Yes she may still create scene (hope that won't happen) but I think you should ignore her without getting affected and still hold your grounds politely. Maybe she try her best to quarrel with you but once she sees that you are firm then atleast in future hopefully she won't bother you. Also pls hire maid if you can so that you can have rest