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How to ask MIL to give back MY jewellery

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by persecutedDIL, Dec 23, 2013.

  1. persecutedDIL

    persecutedDIL Gold IL'ite

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    My power-hungry MIL had kept my side of jewellery meant for my husband, with her when I came to in-laws place for reception. She has also retained all jewellery gifted to me from in-laws side.
    How do I ask her for it ?

    I want to know all the ways - both polite and rude.
    Though would prefer an intelligent and humorous way to avoid confrontations.
    But I want them back as I have got to know with certainty that all my in-laws side are greedy people with no ethics.

    By the way, I have a bank locker, just in case you want to know to evaluate the situation.
    Quick inputs please.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2013
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  2. peet1983

    peet1983 Silver IL'ite

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    Can you get your DH involved in it? will he support you on this mission?
     
  3. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    "Mum, I want to place all my jewels in one place - my locker. Could you please give them back to non Thursday so I can go to the bank on Friday?" There!
     
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  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    I did this...although 15 yrs after marriage. Just told her I have a locker now and don't have anything to keep in my locker. I want to keep my jewelery in it.....
     
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  5. krithika16

    krithika16 Bronze IL'ite

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    When you visit her " ask her I want to c all my jewel and get it frm her " donot return it.
     
  6. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    Humorous- Mom if anyone sees your locker, they will feel those all your's. nazar lag jageya.. and we will loose all jewellery if someone theft.

    Cool- Mom i could not able to wear when i want to.. and while going to parties, going with empty or artificial ones, i'm feeling low in front of others.

    Rude- Those were my jewellery, i had rights to ask and keep..

    Mainly, here main point is not only asking her, get ready with replies for her questions which use for to reject...
     
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  7. amnilakshmi

    amnilakshmi Gold IL'ite

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    get H involved. tell him to tell her that you got a locker which is empty.
     
  8. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

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    Ask your H to wear the jewelry, and then go to the locker and put them there himself. He can tell MIL that it is not safe to keep so much jewelry at home.
     
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  9. persecutedDIL

    persecutedDIL Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,

    I am still looking for suggestions on this issue of jewellery given to me during marriage. Whatever jewellery was given to me from IL's side is still with MIL three years after marriage.
    Whatever jewellery was given to my hubby by my parents and relatives also with MIL. She herself clearly said to me that she will retain all the jewellery (except some that I could take) to use them for gifting during family marriages. How cheap was that!

    They themselves once asked me 1.5 years back if they should get some jewellery for me from the locker and when I mentioned the jewellery given by my family, they did nothing. So, they on their own asked, and when I said yes for a part of it, they conveniently forget about it. I never questioned them either shocked as I was at their hypocrisy!

    I want all the jewellery given to my hubby by my parents as well as the main jewellery set which actually was purchased from my hubby's hard-earned money.
    These have emotional values for me.

    What should I do ?

    I guess your suggestions would help only if you are aware of my background (old posts). I don't share a great rapport with my ILs and I am hardly interested in maintaining a good DIL image. So, there is no image issue.

    But I don't want this to cause any fight between me and DH or even unspoken sulk/resentment in him against me.

    Also, if there are any lawyers/LLB on the forum I would like a legal opinion also. Isn't every jewellery given to the bride during marriage streedhan ? Well, irrespective of that, since I am a financially independent women, I just want my side of jewellery back by all means. I am scared that the gold chain and rings given to my hubby might have been gifted away during their relative's marriage.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2014
  10. JustMyself

    JustMyself Gold IL'ite

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    When she could clearly communicate her motive in the very beginning, you should do the same too. Go ahead, and talk to her and sort this out.

    Some In-Laws feel it is their right to retain gifts received in their son's wedding. They do not attach sentiments to it, but only view it for its monitory value. So, am not sure if fighting about it after these many years is going to resolve anything. For them, it is as good as fighting over money gifted in their son's wedding. Even though you are on the right, you may still get burned more, just for broaching this subject, and making this as an issue.

    You could ask for jewels presented to you by DH with the same sentiments that you had expressed in your post. Am assuming there is no trouble on the jewels given to you by your parents.

    PS : Legal steps here may not be of much help. As end of day there is no receipt (or "Gift Certification") attached to any of the gift. Also as per IRS, gift over Rs 5000 are taxable, as they are considered to be part of the income.
     

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