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How Should I React For This

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by rathia, Nov 11, 2017.

  1. rathia

    rathia Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,

    I am here again looking for some valuable suggestions from you.
    We have our anniversary coming soon. After our marriage we never had any celebration or special feeling on any of our anniversary. Things are now getting better so I thought of spending some good time with each other sending our DS to daycare. Both of us taking a day off and nothing much planned. Just thought of roaming around and dine out.
    I just came to know that DH have made an appointment for him on the same day for around 2 hours since he is taking off. I am very disappointed that he never bothered to let me know and also didnt take anniversary seriously. I dont know how to react now. I am very angry inside and disappointed. But as always I have not shown anything yet. It wouldnt make any difference even if I express my disappointment. Should I go ahead pretending I am not hurt or ignore our anniversary even this year?(DH never bother all these things)

    Thanks for your suggestions
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    There was nothing much planned and the entire day was available, so he made an appointment for 2 hrs. Even for a first anniversary, would be tough to make the celebration last hours.

    Taking the day off for anniversary is a big thing in itself. Whether he took it off after you told him too or whatever.. does not matter. Don't need to pretend and don't ignore. Sit down and really think what you are happy about, what is going right. Come up with some ideas to celebrate. Share with him. Decide on something together and look forward to that happily.

    Don't brood on 'he is not taking it seriously' or 'did not tell me about appointment' 'is combining appointment with our special day'. You have the entire day. Make some hours of it special. Don't make it a test of how seriously he is taking things, that you are more interested in the day than him, and so on.

    It is often the woman who does the planning and implementing of such celebrations. The man shows up. Give him 10/10 for attendance (for taking the day off).
     
    Amica, Ineedhelp1, rathia and 3 others like this.
  3. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Lucky you ! Both of you taking off to celebrate your anniversary ! Haven’t done that ever and don’t see a issue with that at all. So chill and enjoy the day ! Happy anniversary in advance !
     
    Amica, Ineedhelp1 and rathia like this.
  4. rathia

    rathia Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks @Rihana and @Sandycandy for your kind response.
    Taking off is something new for us too. We both are left with more than 10 days of unused annual holidays which will expire by Dec end. Dh parents are visiting in Dec so he wanted us to take off and spend time with them. I agreed and asked if it would be ok for him to take day off on our anniversary. It is purely because of that :wink: Otherwise he is very workaholic and never take off other than India trip. Anyways I am not going to react for this and try to enjoy the day. Thanks @Sandycandy for your wishes. I feel much better
     
    Sandycandy, Dishaa and Rihana like this.
  5. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    Happy anniversary, @rathia!

    Your DH has taken a 2-hour break from your anniversary celebration. Use the other 22 hours to give yourselves a reason to celebrate. :)

    Oh yes it would! It would make him regret taking the day off.

    Being flexible, rolling with life's punches is a big part of adulthood. Don't throw in the towel over a minor matter.

    Use his two hour appointment to decorate. Surprise him! Put up a "Happy Anniversary" banner, balloons, streamers, flowers, pictures from your wedding, whatever brings back happy memories and puts you in a celebratory mood.

    Enjoy the rest of the day and your life together. Celebrate the fact that you are married to a man who cared enough to take the day off.

    Have fun, Rathia. :)
    .
     
    momsky, Sandycandy and rathia like this.
  6. rathia

    rathia Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks @Amica for your kind message. I realised DH taking day off is a sign of love and care after seeing everyones reply. I feel better and also silly for mistaking about his appointment. Our anniversary was on monday and he finished his appointment quickly and joined me
    We both went to temple and then to a fine restaurant for late lunch. Had a very good time in years. He even got me flowers and card. He used to send flowers regularly before our wedding and it stopped once we got married. I have a feeling that he also wants to fix the differences and make me happy

    It went really well and we both are happy :) Thanks again
     
    Amica, NeetaR, Sandycandy and 3 others like this.
  7. Doc_mommy

    Doc_mommy New IL'ite

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    Have you read about the languages of love? It is an interesting concept. Might be able to give you more insights into situations in the future.
     
  8. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    @Amica !!! Thats a zabardast reply !
    @rathia glad you had a wonderful anniversary !!!

     
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  9. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    Yay, @rathia! I'm glad you had a lovely anniversary. May you have many more. And may each be happier than the last. :beer-toast1:
    .
     
    rathia and momsky like this.
  10. happydheivanai

    happydheivanai Silver IL'ite

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    If u feel anything you should express to ur husband and then he will come to know,one or two time he will not listen later gradually he will understand .more over u r taking off that itself a great thing...just 2 hrs ask him to leave u in some mall let him complete his work and join u....thats all...enjoyyyyy
     
    rathia likes this.

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