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How Should I Handle This Situation

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by iamsrihere, Mar 13, 2018.

  1. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Come on I have no plans to abandon them and all..i need to know how to deal with this and where to start to help my husband.I was patient all this while,but when i see the cycle repeating again and again , I think i need to address this issues sooner.

    And when i have one/two kids my inlaws will be happy to be around them.So there is no question of really thinking about how i will manage alone.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2018
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  2. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes he does have anxiety issues,but only when any issue crops up.Otherwise he is fine,but he has a feeling of general uncertainty due to problems on and off. I think going to counselling should help.Isnt it?
     
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  3. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    You have understood the situation rightly Shanvy. Since he experienced just when he passed out of college, he himself thinks it is PTSD(Post traumatic stress disorder).Everytime we think this too shall pass, when another issue for one of his parents' crops up,he starts feeling dejected and demotivated.
     
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  4. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    yes! no harm in trying. we all come with our emotional baggage. some of learn to handle while others need help because yhey are not sure about the issue and the way to handle it..
     
  5. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    We will seriously give it a try then:)
     
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  6. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Gold IL'ite

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    Op it's very hard to change people. Specially those who like to play sick and take sympathy. You can only do what you can do. Regrading husband try to get him to consult a physician for his anxiety. Anti anxiety pills work wonders. Since you can not do much about in laws or change their habits unless they want to change themselves try keep the home atmosphere bit organised and warm by keeping the windows open let the sunlight come in, put some salt lamps around the house, put some fresh flowers and green indoor plants around the house, use Sage incense if you can or burn some bay leaves these two work very well to repel the negative energies. I hate to watch or even just a glimpse of daily TV soaps and Indian news. It really puts me off. So if MIL is glued to these all day try to put TV in her room, so that you are spared from the exposure to this nonsense. For sometime try to disconnect yourself from all and take charge of yourself. Do yoga take spas, go for beauty packages at good saloons. Pamper yourself feel beautiful inside out. Read good books. Try to feel happy and cheerful. Your shinning energy will surely rub on your hubby. Keep complaining to minimum not even to yourself. Always tell yourself I can pull it through. Bring baby into this world only when you both are ready to welcome the little one. Not because of giving company to elders or change the home environment. I just do not buy these excuses of having a baby. I do not know when people will stop thinking that having a baby can fix everything thing. Always remember that the way your pils live is their choice. You do not have to give in to this negativity. Do some positve affirmations also if you can do meditation that will be really good.
     
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  7. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you for the suggestions. Yes I realized you cannot change any person and the need for change has to come from oneself. So stopped my expectations as well..i have started to accept people as they are. Iam already doing some of the things you mentioned above.But bringing the baby for elder's happiness was one of the reasons. it is obviously not the only reason. Anyway hopefully things sort out soon.
     
  8. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Having a happy positive spouse will make your life with negative inlaws a lot bearable . PTSD and other anxiety issues can be managed with therapy , so focus on getting help for the husband for his issues.
    People that are negative will always find ways to be unhappy ( and make others unhappy) even in the best of situations. Having a grandchild will not alter your in laws personality or thought process.
    I really like joyoflife’s suggestion of having a TV in MIL’s room. Implement that ASAP if possible.
     
  9. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    She has TV in hall and is glued to that.Anyway not an issue for us because we got our own TV in our room
     
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  10. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    take care.. hope something works
    someone close to us refused to have a tv in their room stating spritual sanctity of the room will become void, and the tv volume feeds audio for 7 flats in the block... inihi logone inhi logone.... haai
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2018
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