How Not To Get "carried Away" By The Romance In Movies And What We See In Social Media?

Hi Anika!

Usually am not the one who gives advice to people here in IL.
But when I read your thread, I felt like replying.
I have come across everything you feel now. I mean I did feel that way and felt horrible many times.
Regarding things in Social media, Our mind very well knows that it might not be true. But still we crave for that. Thats how human brain is designed. Sadly true. Even when we watch movies, we very well know, its not real, but still we get attached emotionally. By the way, sorry if my reply goes lengthier. Am bad at crisp replies.

My cousin recently got married and I have never met his wife. All that I saw her was in social media. The romantic messages she posted for her hubby, the romantic clicks, everything. The more I saw that, the more I felt horrible about my life. To the worst, I often started thinking about that girl and started feeling irritated for no reason. This continued for many months. Then recently when I met her in person and had to spend time, I found that she is such a lovely girl, childish and very good hearted. The face that she showed in social media is not her original one. I realized few things and quit from social media. Now my life is seriously far more peaceful and beautiful. And more thing, the romantic messages she posted on social media was not true. I mean they were just an ordinary couple like everyone else. And there was nothing special about them. In fact my personal life was far more happier than theirs.

So thats how social media works and you would have known that too. So whoever gets affected by social media, I would suggest them to quit it completely because it did that and am at complete peace now. And there are millions of researches that has proved, people who quit social media(everyone knows which particular one) are far more happier than who are living with it.

Just remember on thing. Rich people will never brag that they are rich. Only the not-so-rich tend to show that they are rich because in real, they are not. Researches say the same goes with social media. People who are really happy in marriages, doesn't bother convincing the world. People who are insecure are the ones who constantly keeps proving the world that "We are happy. we are the loveliest couples.We love each other sincerely" A Happy life doesn't need anyone's approval.

And regarding movies, whenever I watch such awesome love scene or something, I use to imagine about the real life of the actors rather the reel life. The scene on screen looks stunning. But once the director yells "Cut", imagine what the actors will be doing on the sets. Thats how I imagine and take it easy. I tried looking everything as a part of their career and stopped taking movies personally. After all its a profession too. And yes even I had felt what all you feel now.

So think deeply about it and you will get answers. Regarding social media, my suggestion would be google "Why social media is bad" and keep reading many articles. And I would suggest to quit. Because there are millions of problems cropping up just because of using that. Am not the one who never used social media. I used it every 24*7 for 7 years continuously. So you can imagine.

Just thought of sharing my thoughts since I had faced the same issues. If you find it boring, lengthy or inappropriate, just ignore. Anyway our ILs will be coming up with good solutions I guess

 

Op, if u like to do so, little bit of spa with ur dh, U and ur dh romantic destinations once in a while is good. Alaipayuthe is a great movie. Everyone are carried with the beautiful love story.

 

And yeah! as sindmani has suggested, once in a while try going to romantic places with your husband.

 

Lol.. even if you are 90 years old, you have all the rights to drool. Why should we not enjoy just because we are moms? Dads do and even grandads do

Social media and movie fantasies are two different things.

Stay away from social media if you can't handle it. Or unfriend or unfollow the people who makes you unhappy. It's the only way. Every ones lives are different and some people uses these platform to show case the only good things in life. It's their choice. There are so many movies that gets released everyday around the world, do you watch everything? No. You watch only what you like. Similarly, you make the choice. N just like the movie stories, many social media postings are fantasies or exaggerated. So what you see might not be true or the whole story.

Regarding the movie fantasies, I think it's a very normal human tendency to fall for the story, actors n these things and get all excited. as kids we were even more obsessed with the cartoons n princesses n wanted to dress n behave like them. So it's normal. The problem happens only when you have "impossible" expectations and try to force it into your real life.
Like hubby beating 10 guys, really?
Or you dancing in snow in a tiny mini skirt, u goto be kidding

You can hear some avid book readers say that when they read, they are in a different world. Many People listen to music when they feel down and it helps them relieve stress. Watching movie and feeling inspired is similar to it.

When I read a book or watch a movie, I really enjoy getting into that mode. N I might even think about it for the next few days. For eg, if I watch a horror movie, I google and research about it. Two days later I would have forgotten about it as some romantic movie would have interested me. Then few days later a sci fi movie. It goes on.

I loved bahubali, esp the prince, he was so dreamy. I told my hubby and my friends about it too. Alaypayuthey, kadhal desam, vtv, minnale, I loved it too. Actually most of the country did. N many girls went crazy about Madhavan n Abbas. Normal rite?

Why overthink it and feel guilty just because you enjoy it. Why else would you watch all this? You are watching to enjoy n entertain yourself, right? If you are having dreams about a good looking actor or want to re-enact the most romantic scene with your husband, it's normal (dh agreeing is upto you). You stalk the actor or his house, watch the same movie 200 times neglecting your family - that's wrong. So just enjoy it, if you feel it's getting out of hand, just remember it's all imaginary.

 

Our society already deprives so many women of so many things. Don't deprive your mind to think freely too, it's your mind, enjoy it. There is difference between wanting to slap someone and actually slapping someone, right? So as long as you understand that difference, it's good.

Haha.. this just sounds like a conversation that two girl friends has. I have been hearing about bahubali nonstop from my gal friends and how dreamy he is n how he stood up for his wife n all that They are all married n with children living a good life, aged between 20s - 50s. It's so normal. Don't feel bad about it.

Our hubby's enjoys and get dreamy about someone too. Even Our mothers has enjoyed watching kamal Hassan or Mohan or someone from their era. Is it wrong?

Many guys are practical in their romantic life as they don't know what to do or how to do it.

Since you are the romantic in your relationship, You can always take the initiative, imagine yourself as the hero n him the lover n just go from there. It's your husband, so you take the lead instead of waiting for him to do something.

 

Your post is actually adorable ! All of us have been carried away by filmi romance so I wouldn't worry too much, unless it is affecting your relationship with the spouse. Please do yourself a favor and delete your Facebook account . I don't quite understand the need to declare one's love for the spouse that is living under the same roof. I once had a friend put up a pic of her child being potty trained on Facebook, I knew that things had reached the pits and it's time for me to delete my account permanently. I don't miss a thing not knowing how much others love their spouses, where people are eating , which airport they are checking in at or how drinking water cures cancer.
Focus on your wonderful spouse and be grateful for what you have.