How My 6 Hours/day Work Changed My Husband View & Life Style

i really would like to share my experience with Ilites about my bold less & broad mind less husband behavioral difference before my job & after my job..

Daily life:
Before job: Every day need to wakeup by 6.30 (even though before night i slept same time as same as my husband or suffered with eczma baby alone) & need to do cooking on time. otherwise it is big mistake.
After Job: Hired maids. so they chopped vegetables before eavining. Even though i wake up by 9Am also , husband wont ask any thing, doing their cooking work along with help of MIL.

Before Job: Husband telling instructions continuously on what to cook & how taste should be. Giving instructions in case of parenting of kid as well what to put..what not to put. But not doing any help.
After Job: He stopped instructing me gradually because i am saying all time i am busy with work. So he started doing on his own & taking care of baby works now.

Before job: Ordering me to instruct maid in case of cleaning because of single maid.
After Job: having 4 maids & himself instructing them now based on availability.

Before Job: telling precautions while giving monthly packet money like 5K for home maintenance to me.
After Job: Myself spending & answering that i brought/did it already. So no chance to instruct me.

Before job: Only weekend i can enjoy car journey which i like actually if he had patience.
After Job: I started taking cabs for office & enjoying journey. No dependency on him. So now him self asking to come with him daily for safety purpose in his car.

Before job: He hate to watch movies because he dont like crowd. So No movies & NO parties & No outings for me which i actually like.Whole week i need to stick at home& need to parent baby.
After Job: I started moving out with my friends & colleagues which he don't like actually. Slowly he joined with me to avoid others. Now he became habituated with movies & asking for new movies

Before job: House is at outskirts. So no home deliveries available from any restaurant. So compulsory home food only & no chance to eat pizza/burger even i want.
After Job: Able to order food at office & can carry to home as well. I can order my cook to prepare what i want & what others want. No need to burn my hands with oil sparkles.

Before job: feeling guilty to take even 2K for my personal expenses & not enough some times.
After Job: i can buy what ever i want & able to go for JIM, beauty parlor & shopping.

Before job: If i spent 500 extra for my facial or for hair, it seems to be unnecessary in his view.
After Job: now it is not a matter because i am earning 50K.

Before job: Need to stay with inlaws all time & so need to were traditional wear & pooja so on...MIL murmaring about customes of pooja & its activities every day with out telling directly.
After Job: can wear jeans & tops & heels so on...no long time pooja..no fallow up on customs & small festivals due to busy schedule. No murmuring now...

Before job: No me time. Need to serve all family members work through out week days and weekends(extra work like specials cooking) ..If i slept for 30 min also..it looks like enjoying.
After Job: Lot of me time & if i slept 2 hours also it is called as rest.

Before Job: My husband in opinion of that "She cant get Job, even though she get she cant manage that pressure levels in IT"
After Job: became silence with my achievements with in short time of career & felt comfort with more convince at home due to lot of maids, care takers..


Finally with spending of 10K to maids, i am able to earn 50K salary & my personal enjoyment too. My husband getting 30K investment every month which makes him to prepay his EMI 2 yrs before then expected time. No quarreling, No instructions & no dissatisfaction because there is No dependency in family on each other in case of daily life. Whom ever want, they can complete their works with help of maids.

I felt pressure as house wife because if any of day if am not able to do my work at home, no one else there to take care my work. Every one seeing me like lazy fellow with out understanding my position. But in office, if am not able to work, some other team member will take care & able to understand.

Just want to share my feelings with every one hear because it may give some push to some suffering Ilites hear. Finally coming to respect levels, Husband now thinking 2 times at least before pointing out me some thing because i am not quarlleing, i am ignoring him because no dependency. So he stopped disrespect me in most of situations.

 

Its really embarrassing..are DIL equivalent to maid ?..Need to improve acting skill that we are busy with office work all times. so they will came to know things are stopping & so they will hire maids.

 

I assume that u will have ur salary account. Change password immediately first. Send only some percentage of money to him monthly. Keep at least 10K for ur expenses.If any thing left at end of month save it in FD after becoming some large amount. Say him that u can manage ur money because u have maturity to manage things & people at office and had right to enjoy your current life as u deemed in child days. Say him that u can be selfish because you did in past & doing hard work to achieve your comfort life as per ur wish. If you let him drive ur life, there is no reason for your hard work during academics & in office. Take charge on ur own life. Say that sending 30K/40K for remaining expenses house hold so on..No need to audit ur 10K...let him shout..do blame so on..just ignore..just ignore..keep headset with loud music.He will stop blaming after ur several ignoring. dont shout back & dont take emotionally. because u need to love ur self first before loving him.

 

niharika...i agree. They are such good investors. My husband also did same. But because of their safety zone, how much extent we loose our self...think once. Thinking about future is important. but living in present also very important. Because present is the time which we deemed as dream future in our past. You got it right. We suffered in past because we want to be happy in upcoming future. that time is present now. if u loss ur present every time, there is no purpose of thinking about future. because every time u will loose future by thinking of later future. save some % only for future but not total. So lock ur 10K first. dont beg. make him to beg u.