How Much Of Ego Is Ok..

This you defined your state of mind. Are you aware of his state? The things disturbed you also might affected him to some extent. No one is perfect not anybody's life. Its these few moments that we can catch from life to be happy at least for sometime. If you refuse this too then your life will become complete hell. Either go with your ego let those moments go with that and keep hurting yourself or give it a chance at least.

 

Dont think too much. TRy to engage in things that make you happy. If you become happy Then things will automatically set in. It takes effort to keep one happy. On IL side, Dnt bother too much and do not keep expectations. This will make you unaffected.

 

@Sweety2016 You... lucky thing! Normally in a 4 year stint at it, there'd be a 2-something running around the house breaking everything she can reach. And then there'd be a diaper-clad one attached to your waist, eating, sleeping, pooping, and crying all your waking hours. Normal people would likely forget their anniversary dates. Current day misery would seem true hell and make them forget whatever minor misery that had happened previously.
Why haven't you achieved that level of misery yet ? You have a peaceful, and pleasant day coming up, and instead of being happy about it, you are trying to add all the peeves of the past and planning to be morose. Oh..well. There is a polish proverb that goes: It's your circus; it's your monkey.

 

I know it feels bad and kills emotions but if he is loyal and loves you ...may be he is not like too much expressive or may be he is not aware that.you like all such stuff.

Why don't you plan something for him and don't expect anything.
See how he gets into it and try to talk this with him on some other day but with nice tone and I am sure things will get better.

Please give a chance to next person as sometimes its like they have their own thoughts unless you speak (but in soft tone rather than complaints)

 

As much as it hurts, better to let go of past. IL have done damage earlier, don't let them continue to spoil your relationship/anniversary by holding grudge for past. Try be positive from your side, Main person is your life partner. Try your best to not let third party spoil your relationship, even if it makes you angry. Don't punish him/teach lesson for ILs fault. Why punish your own relationship.We do tit-for-tat only for those relatives from whom we can walk away, not for own husband because in the end our heart suffer most.
Sometimes to love someone we have to make many sacrifices, drink our pain, but surely one day that person will understand us and I'm sure one day he will start changing too. 4 years may seem long time now, but it's short compared to the lifetime you are going to spend with him.

 

Cheer up girl.

You completed 4 years of married life. Celebrate this victory of yours. Celebrate it for you. You faced many issues with courage. Long way to go.

If you are still unhappy, Dont do anything for him. dont cook anything special for your husband.

Instead, ask him to take you to a very good restaurant for dinner. He can also join
If possible make him buy some expensive gift for you. Or whatever is in your mind.
That should be the best punishment you can give to him. Dont leave him free on anniversary day.

Enjoy the moment.




Forget those pils. You can think about future later. Use the current opportunity for you.
["I regret getting married" -I have also thought that many times, whenever I face some issue with dh . I am sure many ILites too will be in the same boat. But, that is part of life. Not everyone is lucky. Now you are away from problem creators , the Pils- , try to build your life with dh. Dont depend on others for happiness. Marriage is just part of one's life. Don't make it your life. Only you can make you happy. Everything is transient. Be positive ]

 

so...how did it go?

 

respect