How Much Can Ladies Contribute To Household?

Shravs sit and talk to your hubby."This is our house and we both are the masters and why do you want a split in maintaining our house.we both can save some percentage of our salary for the future and we both can bear the expenses.These words can make magic spells of understanding each other"Don't ever use the word SHARE as it brings rift in the family.This is my opinion ma and it may vary from people to people.

 

After marriage anything you guys earn belongs to both of you in true sense. There is no 'you' and 'me', only 'us'. But if you are insecure about it, then you may need to plan accordingly.

If you earn you should have the financial freedom to decide what to do with your money. Treat your husband as your husband , not as your boss. Once you hand over salary, it will be tough to get back the control. If you are looking for that control, then create your own bank account and then decide what to contribute to house hold. You are an adult not a kid to babysit by husband.

Ideally husband and wife should contribute 50% to house hold income and jobs. If total income is 100% and your salary is 30%. Then contribute 30%. If your income is 70%, then you have to contribute 70% ideally.

I like personal space, so in our case both of us have individual accounts and credit cards. We also have joint accounts and joint credit cards. So every month both of us add monthly contributions to the joint account. This way all transactions are transparent. At the same time we don't expect other to misuse their individual accounts too. The advantage of induvididual account is that you don't have ask permission for a few dollars for your own expense. We have joint savings too. I didn't have this set up few years back. Started only when my Dh questioned me even after spending my full salary. Now he can't as everything is transparent. He is now forced to spend more.

I also know couples who has a single account where both of their salaries come and all transactions are done from that account and they have savings accounts too. Ideally this is the most transparent method. But the couple should on the same page and have good bonding.

Like others mentioned, there are also couple who simply share the expenses without common account. But if one feels that they are spending too much than other, it can create tension in marriage.

What work for one may not work for others. Ask yourself what you want and then decide. Be firm with your decision. Money is a sensitive matter. So handle the situation with lot of patience and care. If you think you are mistreated, stay firm with what you think is right for you. Please don't over think and get stressed. Relax and face the situation as it comes to you. As a first step, talk with your husband and communicate your concerns well. Reach a common ground. If nothing works, then only opt for other options. Good luck

[ it is better not to interfere between son and mom. You can use that as an excuse to help your parents if needed or spend money according to your wish. Use it in to your advantage]

 

@shrav3 don't pay attention to every word that comes out of DH mouth. Focus on getting job. Not everything needs to be sorted out before you get a job. You have to slowly convince him. Wait till the right time comes . Not everything in life is black and white.

 

Ideally it should be considered as common money of both husband and wife irrespective of who earns it . It is both money . Unless that understanding is there of unity , it's very difficult to be life partners and parents .
Problem arises if he is gifting disproportionately to his parents but you have to ask permission . Rather , try to reach common understanding that both will be allowed to.spend equal amounts on each other's FOOs.
But still , first focus on getting a job , it requires focus and dedicated, and your husband's attitude is demoralising u .Once u get a job , he may act more sensibly. But don't let this dissuade u .