How many words exchanged per day? 'tween you and your spouse!

hello o.p,

my dh too is a man of few words. he is a good listener though.so ,i usually do all the talking.my two daughters are also so like me.-so we talk,talk and talk.my dh just sits and listens....................

 

Tara,

I know you didn't start this thread to get some advises.But after seeing your last post,I felt like,I should write this.
I happen to see one of our freinds and I knew them for a while.I know there were some issues between but really didn't know what was it until they stayed in my house for a week.
What I realised is,they both are good at heart but both of too much self presitage and ego's.
That's the biggest issue there.Suppose I go to some shopping with my husband,mostly I don't mind asking 10$ from purse(because I am lazy to carry my purse most of the times).But this women,I am pretty sure she won't ask it.That's where the issue starts.If we don't make ourself comfortable in the relation it's hard to get moving.
I don't know this is the same problem for you or not.
Sorry if I bother you.

 

Thats so sweet. 3:1 !! What a listener your husband would be!!

 

Very true! Sometimes we consider our doubts to be a reality and take life too seriously.
But here, the IL has mentioned that there were misunderstanding earlier and thats why she has become like that now. Sometimes, we are not fortunate to have a spouse who is comaptable and share the same temperment. People change with bitter experiences.

 

very true,,,men who dont talk much are good listeners but as per what gandhiji said
man of few words is full of thoughts so it is not that they dont think they do but
my dh wont share he does good listening but when it comes to one on one
conversation he is nil...BORING for me.

whereas i have heard if couples dont talk it's time to worry???

 

I agree talking needs an effort from both sides...Initiation is important. If your dh has the basic nature of not initiating, simply accept it and you take the first step. Children really get affected by the atmosphere at home and the tie between you and your hubby is something kids can see sense feel. You should try the ides given by senior ilites. will surely help.

 

I think you should turn your mind to some useful hobby. Try to involve in him some activity together. If he does not participate then just leave it. How is your health otherwise? Are you able to sleep well? Or do you worry about this? If intimacy is your concern, you should talk to him about it...don't force anything on him if he refuses to talk. Are you worried about him having an affair or you are just concerned about your relationship? I think you should really divert yourself and just continue if you are doing fine. Turning to spouse is practically useless if something is wrong.

 

Hey Tara
Similar kind of things happened to me and i started questioning why and it leads to bigger issues in life.
If you really want to improve relationship with your DH, be calm and find out his likes may be from friends.
Give him company in doing things he like may be going out to places he likes, cooking something which he likes.
I know it sounds silly but i experienced it, felt like men are more sensitive.
As you said he doesn't ask you for doctor appointments and all, may be from his side it would like you are not asking him about his office work, his meetings. There are always two sides for any dispute your view and other person's view.
One big important note- don't say anything bad about his family rather try sweet talking.