How Is Your Husband To Your Family - Girls Parents Sister And Brother ?

Hi Goahead,

I understood the pain you are going through, I feel this has lot to do with insecurities from DH/DH's family that their DS will become close to his wife side relatives. So they look for opportunities to put down wife side relatives all the time and try to create negative scenarios about them, obviously DH will think what ever their parents say is correct. you have to be more diplomatic in this case, no matter what happens dont expect your H to be close with your side of family, You do what all you can do for them,if your H doesnt like your sibling coming to your home, you try to meet him outside at his place, you give importance to them. Always talk positive about your family before your H, even though some times here and there if there are glitches. Situations will improve after years, I am not much experienced in this but what I have noticed is as the people get older they get attached to Wife side of family rather than their own family. I feel it is very rare that people maintain close bonding with both sides of families, In our case my parents maintain good relations with both sides of families i have been grown up watching all this and try to maintain that with my inlaws. But In my case my inlaws are like more decision taking and patriarchial I dont feel much affection on them may be in future it might change who knows. But I try to maintain very strong relation ship with myside of family even H likes or doesnt like. I am very strong about it so I feel every girl should do it in future things will definitely change, H will start understanding after many many many years I know this is long journey of life. So be positive and you maintain strong relationship with our family and your H.

Sorry for long answer

 

This is really stressful situation....ur husband has some bad attitude..leave it don’t aruge and spoil ur relationship with him ....anyhow ur family will understand u ....

Try this

Y can’t u visit ur sil more automatically u can visit ur sibiling too know.if ur sil is not responding also it’s fine u keep on going and b good ...automatically after few yrs ur husband will understand.

 

Unfortunately this is quite a common scenario in a traditional / arranged setups. Some finds ways n some fails.

Sharing Something that has worked..
Don't ask your dh for permissions or wait for him to agree.
It's your sister n brother n they live close by, you take the effort of doing things with them, without involving your husband.
Say you don't want to disturb him as he hates spending time with them.
You try to plan stuff mostly when he's busy at work.
If that's not possible, make sure to plan something atleast once a month, like all you three siblings get together at your sisters house for one weekend n return, don't wait for your dh to join, go with your brother.
About calling your bro over, don't wait for your dh, you do.
Make sure your bro n sis knows that your hubby is not gona be inviting but if they love you, ask them to ignore it.
Basically you take the initiative n keep putting the effort, be nice n inviting to your Sil n in laws too.
You don't compare, or share Info's about your siblings or your visits with your hubby. Keeps the talks about them to minimal or don't even talk if your dh prefers that way.
Don't over do it n don't force your hubby to join in everything, just make sure he doesn't stop you.

Your dh will make a big scene, if this matters to you, don't back off. Stand strong. Don't fight or be loud, you can be quiet, convey it is important for you n jus stick to it. If you can't be strong, then this will continue forever, I know of a friend who has been married for 2 decades n the hubby still hates her family n keeps them away. So there's no guarantee one will jus change. You just have to take charge. N he may not like it but eventually will just accept or will stop bothering.

 

I'm going through the same situation as yours. My DH wants me to be close with his sibling, but doesn't bother about mine. Its been less than a year since I got married, but it's about 5 or more times we went out for dinner with his siblings and their family so far. I asked him once to meet my sibling outside for dinner but he refused and asked me to invite my sibling home instead. My sibling is living far and came to my city for a work purpose, but his siblings are only living nearby. He doesn't mingle with mine but expects me to mingle with his family. Btw he hates all my cousins and relatives. Never let me go to any of their houses.

I dunno why men behave this way. Selfish.

 

Hi Goahead,

Reading ur post all I can suggest is don't spoil ur relation with ur Dh (as he is ur life partner).

Taking care of both side of parents is fair enough (no need to compromise on that part), instead of concentrating on the other family members (includes ur SIL, ur siblings) I would suggest u to better be with ur Dh and ur kids for couple of years and I guess things will improve there after in due course of time.

Once in a while u can always hang out with ur siblings and cousins but not a regular practice and try to make him also join (try to convince him emotionally not rudely).

PS: This is what my Dh does to me (Ur & mine situation are almost same).

Best wishes...