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How important are vacations in a marriage?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by tanoshii, Jan 26, 2012.

  1. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    Travel may interest some people but not all. It might be physically/financially feasible and rather easy for some and not for the others. But how important are they to keep things good in a marriage?

    I see loads of us being stuck in problems in everyday life, living and drowning in them, fighting and struggling to set things right, and once that one is solved, we move over to the next and repeat the whole process again.

    Do you think taking a break from it could help? Especially as couples in this fast track life of ours?

    It'd be nice to know what you think of this.
     
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  2. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    My husband and I love to travel. while it does help us relax and enjoy ourselves I don't particularly know how much it helps us solve our problems...maybe gets us in a better frame of mind to deal with day to day stressors I suppose.
     
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  3. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for your reply Teacher. And I agree, holidays carry a different meaning to everyone.

    I come from a family where holidays were very common. My husband was never used to travelling and his family rarely left town unless they were visiting their family deity, once a year or at times even once in 2 years.

    When we married, it was so difficult for me to accept it. Its not about spending money, flying away to exotic locations and chilling out on the beach under the blue sky, next to lapping waves. Although any holiday sounds wonderful, he kind of saw it as a luxury. I felt he was so closed about the rest of the world. It seemed to reflect on his and his family's thoughts a lot of times. They cared more about saving for the future, trying to curtail every expenditure that seemed illogical to them. What were we saving for when the very process was sucking the life out of us??

    We had our usual fights, issues regarding sex, intimacy, commitment, all sorts of insecurities, starting a family, savings, loneliness killing us from the inside cos we were away from the family and on top of all this living in and stewing in all these worries over and over again.

    After a whole lot of nagging I convinced him to go on vacations every year. Its not the weekend outings I am talking about. I believe you should be able to go away from the daily routine and monotony for at least 2 weeks in a year. Stay away from life that seems like the real problem and look at it from a different angle. It helps gain a new perspective to things and it opens up your mind to new possibilities and happiness. They help you rejuvenate and basically take your mind off the monotonous trouble of day to day life.
     
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  4. renutn

    renutn Gold IL'ite

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    I also believe taking a break from busy work life is best for couple. Refreshing, rejuvenating and fresh breath of life.
    Not all be able to go to exotic place but it will be good packing bags and go to some place for 2-3 days and spend some good time with family.
    Earlier people used to go to pilgrimige as vacation but now things are changed. People are happy in worshipping god in their place when god is in our heart and home.

    So from earlier days people are following this tradition ; either a piligrim places,exotic location or out of concrete world.
     
  5. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for your reply Renutn. And yeah, those were still vacations away from home.

    I wanted to bring this topic up cos I know what difference it made for me.
    I do have many friends who never seem to leave their cage of troubles, sit there and brood all the while that things were only getting worse by the minute. But they don't seem to realise that going away from it is not a luxury or a rich man's affair.

    If not anywhere else, as kids, we'd go to our cousin's place to stay for the holidays or to grandma's place. That was truly a get away from everything including our own parents..lol. I know now I'd consider it a true holiday to go to my parent's place, leaving my husband behind. Its our holiday from each other. If only I could do it more often. lol

    As adults I feel many of us tie the heaviest most important rock to our feet and jump into the lake with just a few yards of rope to spare. Leave the rock there and climb out, you might see the other beautiful things around. That important rock is not going to float way, it'll be right there when you get back..lol
     
  6. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

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    I enjoy going on holidays, love being away and switch off from day to day stuff. For me holiday doesn't have to be a long one to get the full benefit. I can easily switch off staying in a hotel near the house...in fact we have done that...stated in a hotel nearby for a long weekend...we all enjoyed it! When the money was tight we have even skipped going on a holiday instead took annual leave together and went on day trips to nearby places, had picnic...that was nice too!

    Of course going off for 2 weeks is great as well especially if it's to a nice holiday beach resort. My husband likes to explore when going on holiday so for him the location is important...he loves visiting different places. I like that as well but not as much as staying in a nice hotel with nothing to do.

    Going on vacation is good for family because we get to spend time together; away from the hectic life style...having fun together. To me that is the important part :)
     
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  7. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    That is a good idea SallyR. Staying a hotel for the weekend..my husband thinks its silly, but I'd love it..lol
    And by 2 weeks away, I meant collectively, all breaks put together. Could be a day trip for a couple of days or even over night stay makes a difference.
     
  8. pman16

    pman16 Platinum IL'ite

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    Soo true !! Me too from a family where budget was a constraint and did not travel much whereas hubby's family used to manage to their native. As our grandparents and relatives lived in the same city, we did not have access/parents might not have felt the need to travel. Also being two girls, my parents were conservative about us.

    But thanks to hubby, he has changed me:thumbsup and we make it a point to take annual vacation and it definitely works like a tonic for refreshing relationships. The 'feel good' factor stays with me even after the vacation is over. I can see myself chilling out with music and talking to friends about it and have a new perspective to deal stress.

    I keep editing the pictures taken and update my photos and make collages etc which is a fun after-vacation activity. The latest photos will be on my laptop background and i see it as a new phase.

    I remind myself that nature has given us beautiful things around and we should appreciate its beauty and that also works like a hint for me to see the positive side of life....and now....that makes me feel like going for a vacation !!
     
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  9. vidhyalakshmid

    vidhyalakshmid Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,
    Nice idea to have a vacation for a week or two. I can`t even think of 2 weeks vacation. My husband can`t be off from his job for 2 weeks. Before my daughter was born we used to go 2,3 days vacation. Now the entire life is revolving around my dear daughter. It will be good,refreshing and rejuvenating to switch off from the regular,dull life. I have been longing for a long vacation for a long time. Even though finance is not a problem, planning and taking the time off is needed. I hope we will go in this spring to my long awaited place.
     
  10. Reflection123

    Reflection123 New IL'ite

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    I don't like traveling or going on holidays:hide:, because I feel its like wasting time I could have used up in studying, organizing my home or relaxing. a week of traveling is like 170 hours out of your life!!....I know I m crazy and I don't want to hold my DH back from having fun. So I do accompany him for trips he sooo enthusiastically plans..and I try to have fun also, and looking at him I genuinely feel happy too..(but I know at night at the resort rooms I end up silently and helplessly counting the number of hours wasted :bonk....).....If I have free time I'd rather watch a movie, or spend time with a math book, take care of myself/my home..or just relax!! But I think traveling to exotic places is like the "in thing"..its like peer pressure, unless you're traveling to exotic places...ur friends think that u don't have a life! (So what if you dont even want to have "a life!:drowning)
     

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