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how i met my husband ?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by blessbabydust, Feb 20, 2012.

  1. blessbabydust

    blessbabydust IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi ladies
    i opened this forum to share my life story ... i know it is so lengthy and would like you guys to post anything interesting happend or ur love story please share .
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    I met my husband on 21<SUP>st</SUP> may 2001 in SSI centre where he worked as IT tutor and lab in charge until today I remember his good look at me for the first time which made me to comment why he is looking at me as if he hasn’t seen any girls in his life (rofl)? The same day I got enrolled in the SSI for few courses as I in 6 months’ time I was about to leave India for my abroad studies in Australia. I came from a very strict and orthodox family but my mom was bit cool with my outgoing nature . Days flew like anything and then all my friends started to resume there college and left with my husband in the lab but later I realized he was very smart and good natured person so I started to make good friendship with him . He likes to give good advice to me and always care for me .he was an apple for everyone in the centre and liked by everyone . One Sunday some my friends came back to the centre and I was giggling and laughing then my husband said “can you lower your voice “ I was like why you only say me not everyone then he said something I couldn’t hear I asked can you repeat it .. he said I cant then my friend who was sitting next to me said “why you are begging him just ignore him he always advice you and say something ..may be he doesn’t like you “ .. For a week I didn’t talk to him or even smiled at him … some of his friends also called me tom and jerry show in SSI but I didn’t care for the mocking. Two weeks passed by then my account got locked up by some idiot in SSI I went to my tutor and complained. My husband overheard my conversation and offered the help saying that “I know who locked your account and I have unlocked it . so you can continue with your project “ I felt ashamed on me and asked him “what did you comment on that day “ he said “I care only for you not for everyone “. I was liked shocked and said “I am sorry for this behaviour … I was influenced by my friend who misinterpreted your sentence”.He said its all good we are still good friends that’s all . I was so overjoyed . Then days passby “Friday” was Diwali and the SSI centre will shutdown for this public holidays so I waited the whole day to see my husband but he didn’t turn around … waited in the centre until 8:30pm but no sign .. I was disappointed for not wishing him ( though he is a muslim and iam a hindu girl .. was longing to tell him Diwali wishes).Then after three days we both saw where my husband was surrounded by girls ..he was giggling and laughing ..after seeing that I got really unhappy and went to sit in the next lab room then after few minutes my husband came around to see me .I asked him “you didn’t even bother to tell me Diwali wish and now giggling around with girls like lord Krishna .. he started to smile and said I even went to your friend’s house to ask for your contact number and I found your home address from your form ..Which iam not even allowed to do so I came here today only for you otherwise I would be at my home town. I was like happy internally and said okay. Then I started to realize may be I have soft corner for my husband. In November I was shocked with news stating our SSI friend was admitted in the hospital for appendicitis so we both went and visited her regularly. After visiting we usually talk for an hour and we both go home. He always comes behind me until I reach home because I never travelled in his bike together. On Dec 2<SUP>nd</SUP> 2001 after visiting our friend he said can we go to beach I said that is fine but not for long as I don’t like to hang out long in beach during night time ; he said only 30 mins and we can go . He asked can we sit down in the beach I said yes we can and then he said I have something strong about you to say and he proposed me “Will you love me forever and marry me “… I was like shocked and said “yes and no because I am leaving the country in three weeks’ time this cannot happen and we both are different religion there is lot of challenges in our lives “ He said all I care is your only love and care others we both can manage with our strong love . Already I had a feeling for my husband but never wanted to reveal but he was so confident in it so I took the chance. Very next week I took him to my house for introduction my mom said I like him and I quickly said “mum he is one I love so much and going to marry “ ; mum took so cool and said “ yeah yeah “ then I began serious and said “mum yes it is true even ask him “.. my husband was in big shock and said “yes aunty iam in love with your daughter and want to marry her “… my mum was numb and didn’t say a word but later that night she said he seems to be good guy but he is different religion your dad is very strict and orthodox just doesn’t work out … I said don’t worry mum I believe in our love and god “if this is what should happen it happened and will happened”…. Then after three weeks I left to Australia leaving my family and my love and soul alone. He was crying in the phone stating he misses me and my eyes can’t forget the days we spend in Chennai he literally visited all the streets and places we both visited together and spent days together .. I didn’t say anything to my dad but my siblings and mum knows about our relationship. My college days continued in Australia and his job hunt started as I emphasised him to find some overseas job so he can migrate to Australia because we both believed that we can’t live happily in India with inter religion marriage. My elder sister got an alliance fixed and arranged in June month for the big day. I was one side happy because I can spend time with my husband again after 6 months separation … wedding went well and my parents really got impressed with my husband and his proactiveness in the wedding function. Then my dad somehow came to know about our relationship then the problem started to tick like a bomb.. he said never to contact him and cut off the relationship completely but I was so strong at that time and said “ he is only one in my life as love and husband no one can get that status in my life “. My dad even threatened he will cancel my visa and bring me to india..i smiled and said you can do anything but nothing going to stop us even death can’t separate us (all cinematic dialogues ). He said just think about your brother and sister.. I said iam the youngest and also they have their own life I will not interfere into their life.. so my dad fixed my brother’s wedding in September 2002 without me attending his wedding I was really hurt but my husband consoled me in right way . Then my parents flew in October 2003 to Australia.. I completed the course successfully and was looking for IT job so temporary worked in Restaurant & tuition centres saving for our wedding. As my parents were in Australia I was monitored so closely mobiles with no credits and no cash outs from my bank so strict … but I buy phone cards and call my husband everyday …. My parents came know about it and then locked me in a room only food and no contacts for a week my husband got so worried and worried then I forced to call my husband to say “don’t contact me anymore and (gave a hint ) stating my family is here “. He is so smart and stayed cool and calm … I waited until my parents go to India luckily there visa didn’t get extended for 12 months that was a big sigh..My parents left australia in dec 2003 .. and I planned our wedding in march with all my friends . My husband flew to australia in feb 2004 for our wedding .. our wedding bell rang on march 17<SUP>th</SUP> 2004 with our friends help … I was staying at my brothers place and he was staying at a hostel .. we were like that for two month and my parents and his family got suspicion and came to know his existence in australia .. then I revealed that we both are married but my parents and my brother did house arrest for two days and then I had to attend defence interview where I was escorted by my brother for the whole day outside the centre but luckily I escaped through the fire exit and went to meet my husband all I had was a handbag with my bank card and suit/shoe on me bought by my husband. My husband quickly met me in city centre and called my brother to inform that his sister is with him and he is his wife and same informed my father … my husband had to go thru lot of pain because of swearing from my family … I soothed him and he called his parents but they refused to talk to him completely. For three days we both kept quiet and after third day called my parents they were calm but angry my dad said iam a disgrace for his family …. But I said only one statement to my dad “he is my only love and husband forever “… after lots of arguments and crying my parents said “I have to move interstate “. So we planned to come over to Sydney with $300 in our pocket after buying tickets and accommodation for two weeks. My husband’s visa was nearly over so he had to fly but he was in quiet awkward position leaving me alone in Sydney with no contacts expect my sister (but not supportive )and I got no job. On Thursday I attended an interview and they said will inform about the results on Friday but no answer … Monday he has to fly l; luckily we both an apartment near UWS (bit expensive ) on Friday but he said that he will take care until I find a job and flat mate for share . Monday he flew with heavy heart …I was really sad and lonely but I got news that I can join the company on Tuesday if ready …I was super joyed with the news and waited for my husband to call me back .. My husband called and I said good news he said “did you get that job in accounts “..i said yes how do you know he was I have confidence in your ability . Our problem solved on the same week I found a flat mate for unit share.. we both worked so hard to save single penny and also I worked part time in Coles for extra income . While working I was doing part time studies in IT Certification … I got successful after 8 months of course … My parents came in late 2004 for my brother daughters birth in October they visited my place … they were very happy from as they never communicated to me for more a year but they started to communicate to me and saw my living they were peaceful in mind stating that iam leading a comfortable life with a supportive husband . they invited us to india for hindu ceremony we went to india in june 2005 for hindu ceremony wedding ..which went well my parents came to understand my husband and saw my husband as my husband rather a muslim guy .. he was very flexible and understanding for every requirements from my parents . In November 2005 I contacted my father in law explained all the blame on me please communicate to my husband he is still your son … I will try my best to be your good daughter in law .. he was so genuine and said “how I can blame on you .. I blame only my son because he failed to inform this proposal where I promised someone and he knows about this “ I said it was in younger age but did you ask your son second time when he was a big boy ..he said “no parent will see their child grown out of hands ….”anyway the conversation went well but he was so adamant not to talk to his son nor me about this again. In 2005 end we lodged an application for my husband .. as I got a stable job and no longer wanted this separation my parents landed in nov 2005 in Sydney and stayed with me until my husband joined my hand in april 2006 . we both celebrated our birthday in 2006 after so many years together … our struggle didn’t stop here .. his parents didn’t talk to him but in 2008 he brother communicated me stating that he is getting married and his parents doesn’t want his elder son (my husband ) to be there at the marriage it was heart breaking but good news is that he said he can come after his wedding . We both went to india I was super nervous because not a single person I know and don’t know how to do namaz either because my husband doesn’t impose religion and we both never interfere religion in our life . I was informed very next day that we are going to have muslim wedding and name change I was like okay .. my husband said please be patience and say yes to whatever they ask you to do ..i was it is our family will do for our love and you … don’t worry I can manage it . Our wedding was over and name change done and they said “no more hindu religion in my life “ I was yes I know iam muslim and only one god . they were all happy and cheerful . In 2010 I gave birth to a baby boy which made them super happy but I wanted a girl ,…. But iam a proud mother of my son who makes my life so cheerful and joyful … and my husband is so sweet and supportive always care for me and my son … his life evolves only around us .

    Please share your life story if you have anything interesting .
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  2. Pallavi4me

    Pallavi4me Platinum IL'ite

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    I don't have anything to share from my side except appreciation to you...

    I must say girl you are one courageous girl and you both are lucky for each other..

    I can understand how tough it would have been with all this that too in a different country without any support. I feel that all the people who let go off their love due to the parental pressure should read this and should understand what commitment is.

    I'm really happy to read your story and to know the love you have for each other..

    All the best for your life..
     
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  3. anurar20

    anurar20 IL Hall of Fame

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    very nice and happy ending dear. may god bless you.
     
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  4. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    Girl, You are really courageous. All the best dear and I wish you loads of happiness forever!
     
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  5. blessbabydust

    blessbabydust IL Hall of Fame

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    thanks everyone for encouragement i put this story after my friends pressured me in narrating the story so people can learn lesson about love and what is the value of it ... as she mentioned now a days people think love is only physical not emotional and life long .... as pallav4me mentioned may i story be a lesson for people who sacrifice their love because of parents force ... One question arise always when i think about do they ask permission when they are loving me ? why bother to ask permission when marriage
     
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  6. bukbuk

    bukbuk Silver IL'ite

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    Exactly. There's no need to bother about parents' permission to get married. Did they ask our permission before loving us and providing for us?

    Wonderful logic

    Everyone should just elope and get married in oblivion. Saves the costs of wedding hall, food and gifts for guests...contributes towards national savings.
     
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  7. rosy786

    rosy786 IL Hall of Fame

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    niceee one dear!!!!!

    happy to see your strong love.....

    love gets stronger when it gets tougher
     
  8. blessbabydust

    blessbabydust IL Hall of Fame

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    bukbuk you are so funny ... i didnt mean everyone should elope and marry ... even after asking and fought for their love if thats the last option then do it with full heart but stay strong and steady and show them how you can lead the life without anyones support ... in that way it will become stronger and steadier relationship ... if you come across this much hurdle you will not think abt divorce ... :)
     
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  9. srims

    srims Bronze IL'ite

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    blessbabydust&bukbuk,
    blessbabydust,when I was reading your story,I was little tensed.At the end, so happy.How strong you were!!!Congrats.
    But,in the last post you and bukbuk said "there is no need to bother about parents permission to get married".
    That is really bad.Our parents are the one who did everything in our each and everystep of our success.You went to Australia because of your parents,they gave you studies,so you achieved it. you don't forget this.
    Do you feel, soon after they heard the news of your marriage, how your parents (his parents too)would have got insulted by their relatives? Because,still in India Love marriages are not really accepted. Our parents sacrifice their life for us. Your growth is only because of their blood as sweat.You asked their permission,they said "No".what you did is right.Even I was happy to read the end of the story.But, should not say that why we need parents permission,...?I am not against Love marriage.But after getting their permission,will make them at least little happy,right?You waited for their approval,they didn't agree,then you tried your level best and got married .its good.But getting their approval will make you more blessed.sorry if I am wrong.
     
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  10. blessbabydust

    blessbabydust IL Hall of Fame

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    Srims may be it was misleading from my previous post thats why i clarified it later ..


    ... i didnt mean everyone should elope and marry ... even after asking and fought for their love if thats the last option then do it with full heart ...

    I totally agree with you that our parents are the life and support till end but when my parents like him as my friend not my life partner then you wont have the guilt of marrying the person .... i totally respect your aspect and do love my parents so much but it hurts to see your loved one suffering too .. when my husband proposed me i went very next to tell my mother she was happy but my dad was opposing fiom very beginning only concern was not him but his religion .... for nearly 6 yrs my parents live with me and they love living with me as i give them their freedom and liberty of ageing ...sometimes you have to deaf to their opinion but yes i have selective hearing with my parents which works well with our relationship ..
     

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