How Handle This Behavior

@Starkgirl Since you think it is rude to ask MIL to leave early why don’t you stay with your father for sometime with hired help. This is not about who wins but about your sanity and peace of mind. Ask your dad if he is ok with your stay though. If he is ok, go ahead with a positive frame of mind. Focus on bonding with your little child. Leave MIL and associated negativity behind. I assume you have a understanding husband. Tell him to book your return tickets the same time he books MIL’s departure tickets.
Your MIL will not change and will continue being a part of your life specially with the birth of her grandchild. Learn to put your foot down about her visits during inappropriate times.

 

Let me share two experiences with you of similar situation.
First my own sister. 10 years back she delivered a premature baby. The delivery happened so suddenly before my mom could plan anything her MIL took over the kingdom and took the baby to her house and started taking care of baby. Her argument was my mom is a first time grandma can't handle a pre mature baby who is as small as my sister's palm. She volunteered to do everything then started taunting my mom how irresponsible my mom is. When my mom tried her best to do she never agreed to let her do her duties. All this put so much stress on my sister that she couldn't breast feed the kid . Milk never came out. Just 3months of so much drama, vast amount of stress for my sister, one night unable to put up with all this she packed her bag left MIL's house in mid night took taxi n went to her home. Told hubby if u want come or stay with your mom. Once she went to her house my mom was able to do her bit for her daughter . Slowly things fell is place.

Second is of my manager, same situation as yours . No mom and taken care by MIL . Usual problems by MIL like you mentioned. She royally chose to ignore all the things only for the fact that she can't run back to her mom. She says had I taken stress I would have suffered and my kid would suffer ultimately . Not that there was no drama . MIL left suddenly packing her bags seeing DIL is not respecting her much. In this case ignoring MIL made her feel that DIL is not respecting her.

Bottom line is : Take full care of yourself and ignore your MIL as much as you can. Ignore so much that she feels she's not required anymore to take care of you n baby and volunteers to go back herself. Don't ever react to her tauntings. Don't take any stress on you. Not even a bit. My sister case I explained because of that. Taking it on you will affect you n baby at this time.
If unable to ignore and tolerate all this drama go n stayed with dad with a hired help as one of the replies says above. That's also a good solution .
I hope you are able to find a comfortable solution to this sooner than later.

 

OP, if your DH is reluctant to send your MIL back early then at least insist on hiring a nanny to help you with the baby so you can catch some breaks during the day. You need to eat well and get good rest now. Since MIL is not going to help get someone who will.

 

@Starkgirl You have gone through a difficult phase. Be kind to yourself . Your MIL has lot of anger against you. This is the most vulnerable phase so she is unleashing it. Inform your dad the exact situation what you wrote and ask him to look for a helper. Call relatives and ask them if anyone can come and help you for a day or two . Once you find a helper just pack your bags and leave. Please send don't MIL back. That will come back and haunt you forever. That will always be used against you.Don't expect much from husband either. Just think this way if same thing was done to your daughter will you be fine. As women we tend to ignore our needs for family peace. She is just looking to start a fight so she can become the victim . Don't give her any opportunity to spoil your life long relationship with husband. Be open and tell husband each and everything so he knows.

 

Tell your husband you want to go to your father's place.
Tell him you are weak and vulnerable and still grieving and getting abused in your own house.
Look him in the eye and tell him you may never ever forget this .

If he can't stand up to his monster mother ,the least he can do is leave you and your baby to an abuse safe place.

Women like your mil deserve to rot alone.
Shameless stone hearted woman!
Indian daughter in laws should have the option of getting restraining order against this kind of mil.

 

This will continue until her beloved son doesn’t give strict warning to her.
Sadly most of the Indian men are puppets of their parents. Inspite of knowing the ill treatment towards their wives they still can’t do anything towards it.

 

Your dh is clearly spineless.
What about your mental sanity.?
Won't it affect a newborn, if the mom is sad,depressed, sleep deprived,??

 

Just pack your bags and ask your father to come pick you up. You have made very reasonable requests. If your DH won't stand up for his wife and child then you don't owe anyone anything. Mother and son can enjoy each other's company all they want.