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How elders r lier in my in-laws family?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sonu_627, Dec 5, 2005.

  1. sonu_627

    sonu_627 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi friends,

    In four of my marriage i had seen bunch of liers in my sasural.I come from cultured family where bad words, lieing,cheating are big crime than murder.Because my dad feels that if you give bad words,lie to others n cheat at the end u end up murdering some one.So at basics u should be away from bad habits.But in my sasural my MIL is such a big lier.She cheat her own son[ my hubby] for money,totally partial towards us n her younger son.I wanted to ask my friends how come elders who is our hubby [whom we love dearly]mom can do it??

    Does anyone faced such situations? Just share with us friends .Hope my situation is not so worse than others in this world.
     
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  2. roja

    roja Junior IL'ite

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    That's her tactic probably

    Hi Sonu,

    I first feel sorry for the situation you are facing. But one thing for sure, there are worse situations in many families among the members than yours. Don't get disheartened.

    Coming to your point on elders lying, probably that you MIL's tactics to get things done with her son. Why do you bother, if your husband doesn't feel bad about it? If you are not affected, I would say you let it go. Also, I don't think a mother is going to be partial among her sons. I have seen cases where a mother is partial between her sons and daughters. They think daughters should be taken care more and that ends up in being partial.

    Take it lightly and you be good to the elders, however bad they seem to be. You seem to have been brought up with good thoughts and habits by your parents, maintain it for their sake.

    Love,
    Roja
     
  3. sonu_627

    sonu_627 Silver IL'ite

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    its unusual but true

    Hi Roja,

    Its unusal but true in mine case. My husband are 3 bro n sis.My SIL[hubby's sis] than my husband n younger BIL.As my BIL is always pampered by my MIL as he is younger one so she use to hide his lots of things from us n SIL. She use to support him in all his deeds.My MIL never supported my hubby if compared to my BIL. Before marriage she even dint supported our love marriage n opposed till 2 yrs of marriage.Even when i was pregnant she dint stay in india n went to stay with her brother in US. She tolds lots of lies to our relatives behind us which we dint do at all.We met all of them n clear up everythng .Everyone knows inour family tht she is a big lier.But when i first heard those lies i was shocked that how come being an elder n mom she can lie so much??

    Two years ago my BIL eloped n got married n kept it a secret.recently he disclosed it.All our relatives knew that he got married 2 yrs ago n its love n inter caste marriage .But my MIL organised a marriage ceremony for him n made him maary again n told all our relatives that its arrange marriage n girl use to stay abroad.Its a such a big lie and height of favourism that we cant handle it anymore.We both are in a great pain but still things goin on.

    We suffered alot for 4 yrs she dint pitied her own son at all. Money wise she cheated us because of BIL.Now i dont understand where we stand after this.

    Anyways it was nice to read ur reply Roja
    Sonu
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2005
  4. dilnawaz

    dilnawaz Bronze IL'ite

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    yes it is sad but very true. Some parents do tell lies, are jealous or feel insecure and show no remorse or feel bad about spoiling their own sons married life. It all depends on the situations and castes etc but the fact remains that human beings are complex beings and it is very difficult to have a happy family unless everyone is committed towards harmony, ready to sacrifice, compromise and open to looking at things from other persons perspective also. I have also had a very tough time for 7 and half years because of real complex personalities as a mother as well as father in law. I hence strongly feel that joint family system should be avoided as far as possible...
     
  5. 27csweetangel

    27csweetangel Silver IL'ite

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    Dear sonu
    The bottom line is MILs do lie,,its sad so so sad but it is true ,she could go to any extent to spoil her sons married life.. it has happened with me ,so chill you are not alone..it is very unlikely that hubby will believe this if you tell him his mohter is a lier..Dont think much about her,think of her as least significant ..take a deep breath do some meditation!!
     
  6. SSC

    SSC Platinum IL'ite

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    Old thread, started in 2005!
     
  7. Rums

    Rums Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Sonu,

    My MIL lied that her other kids don't provide money for anything and treat her like badly. But we found out later that she had said the same thing about us to her other kids. She got money and respect from everyone by complaining about others. Talk about money swindling. We believe everything they say. They are very cunning.
     

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