How early before due date should parents come?

You should have someone with you as you are due in less than a month. But if you have noone try to look for some outside help. Instead of eating frozen food eat khichdi or dal rice that will be far better than frozen food. At this stage you should really not eat heavy oily food. This is the time when when baby grows bigger fast and gains more weight so take care of your diet. Whenevr you feel better cook some dal, rasam or vegetable of your choice and put in the fridge. For 2days it will be good. This way you can rest and eat home cooked too. You have to be really careful at this stage. Get someone to cook at home.
Don't think much about your mother not coming. Cooking for your dad is not very important. There must be something bothering her... we can't say as we don't know everything what's going in mind. If she comes the day you deliver let her.

 

Oohlala, you must prepare your hospital bag and do other arrangements now. You can deliver anytime 2weeks before your due date. Many people deliver near due date many before, generally it starts happening 2weeks before due date.
As I said dont think about mother. Every mother wants to hold her grandchild but something may bother them to stop to do so.

 

Hi Oohlala,

i completely understand you. My dad was working when i had my DD and mom came for delivery from India. she came for only 6 weeks after delivery and even in that time my dad would tell her everyday to prepone tickets and go back early as he found it difficult to manage. he doesnt know cooking and was not adjusting to someone else cooking. i used to feel so bad as I needed her most at that time and i decided to go to india to be with her when she left.

we wish parents were more understanding, but they also find it difficult t live without each other after a certain age, so we also need to be understanding.
Just try to understand her better and try to manage till delivery. As your mom rightly says, her help will be very precious after the baby is here.

Goodluck.

 

Usually, you don't need much help before delivery. It is after delivery and when you are at home back from hospital is when you need all or any kind of help. Some might need help earlier too. But majority don't need. You guys are eating out if you are tired. I would expect "good citizen" kind of husband to cook for you if you are tired. Husband not cooking for 36+ weeks pregnant wife is extremely weird to me.

Don't hate your mother for not coming early and helping you. Don't hate anyone at this point of time. Are you physically active? This is time to watch all movies and finish the last minute shopping.

Since she is one hour away from you, you guys have lot of flexibility. She can come a day after delivery too(bit extreme though). Once you are home, that is when your troubles start.

 

Can your DH help you by cooking something (or at least a part) in the morning/evening? He can also cut vegetables in the night and stock them up in the fridge. That way, you can quickly whip up soup or fried rice or something. If you crave Indian foods that you are yet to learn how to prepare, you and DH can look at recipes and he can prepare a part of that, or get you the ingredients. Trying out such things will help you keep your mind off your mom.

As far as your mom is concerned, as a PP said, we do not know what is bothering her. Perhaps she is not too comfortable with your husband? She is right that you will need her help more after the delivery as you will be sleep-deprived, having to take care of a crying baby, baby's bath etc.

Relax and listen to calm music, watch movies and just try to keep your mind occupied. I know that you must be feeling extremely tired this last month of pregnancy as the baby will be getting bigger. You are hurt because of your mom's unwillingness/inability to come despite her proximity to your place. Please try hard to ward off negative thoughts, though the hormones might make it difficult for you to do so.

God bless and have a safe delivery dear!

 

You have high expectations from your mother and low expectations from your husband. This is not the time for you to get angry/jealous etc.

There are plenty of women that have managed the entire process without any grandparents' help while their neighbors/siblings had grand parents coverage for 5 full years. Please relax. She will be with you when you need her the most. She is your mother after all.

 

oohlala,
I managed without my mom with me... i craved for many things which my DH didnt like and so didnt learn to prepare.... I went to my mom when i was 7 months pregnant..and once i was there i had all of it within 1.5 months till my delivery..

my DH doesnt know to cook too... but he helped me... and i tell you when you are hungry... (we used to cook together... and it was so much fun and it helped him when i was at my mom's place for sometime with the baby) you will gorge on anything that anyone cooks... i used to puke out anything if we eat out... so it wall all home cooked meals for me... i managed well... i cleaned the house, do the laundry.. .and sleep and read a lot... just the craving was there sometimes..

you can always learn few easier things from the internet.... i mean cooking part.... avoid eating out... atleast for sometime...

take care...
ammani