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How Do You Manage Inlaws After Having Baby

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sadhana11, May 21, 2019.

  1. sadhana11

    sadhana11 Senior IL'ite

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    My inlaws came to usa after a break as we had differences before and my husband cut short their visit as they are interfering last time.And he asked them not to interefere. my mil is not happy as her visit is cut short now. I am working so I am out for 9+ hours. she is a kitchen freak and already took over it saying she is here only few months and after that its all mine. but now she is interfering with feeding too. I normally take care of my son in the morning and evening. he is 3 years old. shes doesnt like him being behind me or preferring me. I told her politely but made it clear that I will take care of him when I am home and she is going to feed him wen I am at work Also since their visit is cut short she doesnt like my parents to come and be with me Iam pissed with that controlling bossing around attitude. Do you all give into your mil wishes or make your own rules. Also when they pull our parents how do you react.
     
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  2. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Interfering with kitchen is a big OK for me. Interfering with my interaction with kids, not so much. If it’s a short visit I would let it go though.
    Talking about my parents is never ok ( long or short visit ,does not matter ).
     
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  3. sbonigala

    sbonigala Finest Post Winner

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    Kitchen takeover - I would say enjoy it while it lasts. You dont have a choice bit to go back to it when her trip ends, so enjoy her food for now. Thats how I look at it.
    Kids - same - if its a short trip - let her enjoy feeding him - you and your H can plan some date nights in the mean time. If she does not appreciate you guys going out, then let her allow you to handle your child. I do this too. DH and I go out for dinner and drinks because I know kids are taken care of !
    Your parents - its not her business to talk about your parents and their visit
     
  4. sadhana11

    sadhana11 Senior IL'ite

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    Since it is Less than four month trip even I don’t mind. But after a long day at work I get irritated to hear all that. I just want to spend some quality time with him and nowadays she cooks wen I go so that I help her and she makes sure my fil has him...anyway I understood that and despite there tricks I make sure I spend sometime with him.
     
  5. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    When I was having periods I touched the washed clothes which irked my MIL. She asked me didn't your mom teach you that you aren't supposed to touch clothes when you have periods - I said "Oh ma my mom had other important stuff to teach me than this useless thing !" . That was the first and last time she said anything about my mother.
    It was rude on me to have said that but it's okay she understood that she should not pull my mother in such conversation.
    Never give a chance to PILS/MILS to talk about your parents. Don't pretend to have fallen on your deaf ears. Convey in a strong and assertive tone that talking about parents is not acceptable.
     
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  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    :hello:Nipped in the bud!
    But that is the way to go.
    Thanks and Regards.
    God & Mother Nature have not polluted their creations.
     
    Anusha2917 likes this.

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