Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Feb 27, 2020.
If there is any apology in picture it's from them darling, not you. Remember this.
But if you cannot stand up against your own relatives where from you will gain strength to stand up against mil ?
But you seem like a nice sil for understanding your brother’s wife’s feelings..she is lucky to have you
@anika987, I could support or cheer her only so much from the outside. She had to fight it out on her own. Even today, I get big smiles when my mother is put in place by my SIL.
My mom said the same thing.
She even said now this is your family.
We need to change according to our situation and changing times.
@anika, Sunshine Even my parents said same thing- now in-laws are your family, you must take care of them. They told first few years they may be strict but you continue doing your duty and "win their heart". My parents always compromised their own ego in front of my inlaws for my happiness.
I put up with MIL's humiliation so many times- still my parents keep telling to be good from my side no matter what they do- and try to maintain peace in family and get things back to normal(means I adjust). I know they want me and husband to have peaceful family life but it's hard to get over the humiliating incidents . I try to forget those and thank God for giving me supportive husband . Since childhood only I could never stand up for myself because my parents always taught to forgive and adjust with elders(and this includes slightly elder cousins too) .
Hugs to you Anika. Cant believe you have such cheap minded relatives.. your anger in such a situation was justified...can understand how you would have developed low self esteem....if you had expressed your feelings and spoken up boldly many years ago maybe they would have stopped it or toned down the verbal nitpicking a bit...if they do not stop doing this you'd be better off cutting them off from your life for your well being and peace of mind...
And you're not wrong in expecting basic respect from relatives..
I have had lot of mental agony due to adjusting.
I let go of everything 6 years ago.
I told finally to my husband, I married you ,not your family.
We got only one life, can't take too much stress.
With the number of recent threads on anger-at-mother, resentment-at-mother, it is not at all surprising that a 3rd party harassment of mother is appreciated