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How Do I Work This Out ?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Sep 12, 2019.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Husband’s travel time to office is one hour and more..leaves by 7 and comes home by 10 or even late most of the days.

    Kid is first grade - 9 am and reaches home by 4 pm.

    I was an admin/clerical job and the maximum I got paid was $14 before I had to leave and that was 8 years back.

    school has half days and kid has three classes around 6 pm for which I have to start by 5.30 pm three days a week

    I am actively looking for a job and only one is there which starts by 8.30 to 5 pm

    Hubby cannot help me around the home coz of his timings and I have to deal with home,kids classes and be there during her half days in school and if am working ..work too.

    Hubby asks me to either wait it out and look part time and closer to home.Its not that easy to find anything with these critieria.

    Salary also is $10 per hour for 8.30 to 5 with atleast 30 minutes drive am getting.

    I don’t know if I should accept the job and if it is worth it..

    I understand if you are getting paid quite a decent amount,one can put in hours of hardwork and can also do some work at home.Though stressful the money you get in hand would be emotionally fulfilling.

    In my situation,with no help at home or with kid and so many hours of work with such less salary,travel time..feeling unsure


    Is there anyone in my situation and how do you work this??
     
  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    You will have to do aftercare for your child and either rush back or hire someone to take her to classes. I would personally not work for that salary but you have to decide if it's worth it for you. Will it lead to a higher-paying job in future?
     
    Angela123 and anika987 like this.
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    i have no idea malstrom..

    right now am desperate coz people are asking me "Oh! your kid is growing up..time to get back to workforce"..
    and especially my fate,I meet this mom everyday at the bus stop and she is like " I have worked all my life,cant imagine being at home with hubby out and kids in school, am too busy to talk now coz am rushing to work,i took a long break for 2 years and went crazy,,how do u do it?"

    I mean I told her bluntly its a choice I made for my family and still she would not budge.everyday it is annoying..
    I cant be rude coz the kid goes to same class as mine.

    How can I even explain my situation?I just wish people would keep quiet and stop enquiring coz no matter what I explain..they wont even understand.

    Right now..the real reason is I am desperate.

    Hubby says wait till middle school or go part time.I had asked for someone to help out like you mentioned but he feels if it is even worth and bluntly told me it doesn't make any sense..

    I had posted a thread about back to school night and PTA...and most moms are working in big jobs and I feel so humiliated to even stand in the same place as they are..the only reason! I will be tired of explaining my situation to each and everyone just like that mother I had mentioned..sorry to burst out like this..this is too frustrating..

    I dont even know what to do..should I take up this job,suck it up and do something..but how can i manage..I am just trying to figure out
     
  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    67528ce99f59300f6e78c67eec4d68fd.jpg
     
  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    if only it was so easy!
    but thanks for the quote..good one
     
    Sunshine04 likes this.
  6. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    @anika987 what area do you live in exactly and who are all these people who are so interested in your life?

    I live in the Bay Area in a suburb where schools/neighborhoods are 90% Asian and the Indian community (supposedly nosy and inconsiderate) is significant. I have also lived in Texas where the demographic was quite different, but again lots of Indians around. I have been on both sides of the fence - working and SAH, and never ever have I encountered a single person who was interested in my life or what I do/did.

    You must live your life based on your terms and I don't understand what another person thinks is of so much importance to you. Also, this persitent mom, how does she ask you the same question everyday? You really need to get out of this major complex you seem to have and start focusing on what you want rather than what you think others think of you.
     
    Thyagarajan, Angela123 and anika987 like this.
  7. IL86

    IL86 Silver IL'ite

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    @anika987 ,

    I have read lot of your posts, I can tell from it you don't want to work, you are happy being a homemaker the multiple reasons you are giving to accept job is because you know in your heart it's not what you want. Accept the fact and be happy with what you want. Why do you care for what people think, talk and assume? If the lady in bus stop asks just say you are happy with your life and you don't want to discuss this daily .
    And why would you be ashamed because other parents work, stop comparing yourself to others. You need to stop feeling inferior for everything. There are so many women who are homemakers they don't feel ashamed of themselves at their children's school. You will damage your daughter's self confidence too by constantly feeling inferior. I am an introvert too that's my nature, at this time have taken break from work to look after my year old daughter but I don't feel ashamed of myself. You need to accept what you are introvert fine,not working fine,your are just fine as you are ,stop trying to be someone else.
     
  8. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    True..this mother stands in the bus stop with me

    And yes I have developed a major complex thanks to my relatives and non stop questioning about what I do

    Also I do admit that I keep thinking that now that am at home and yes having free time..I will be questioned again.the fear runs deep.
     
  9. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hmm true but tomorrow what if my own daughter asks me?

    My neighbor’s daughter once asked me
    If am working and when I said no,she asked why am at home when her mom is working

    Yeah I do have a lot of stress regarding this..
    My relatives,in-laws and many people have asked me many sorts of questions
     
  10. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I also feel that am not smart since am not working.I feel am wasting away being a homemaker(though I like it)..

    Money seems to be the mantra for everything including respect.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.

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