How Do I Help A Resentful Lady?

I’m sure she knows. She told me not to mention to anyone because it’s a big deal here.
Btw, spanking is legal in TX. As long as it isn’t cruel and unusual cps doesn’t do much here. Archaic law that needs to be addressed.

 

They have been telling her that she needs to do what they ask of her at home for consistency. I’ve cautioned her about them not putting in the effort if she doesn’t follow through with their suggestions. I’ve also told her that they will ask her to find another therapy place if she doesn’t work with them. I hope she follows through, she keeps saying that their methods don’t work and the kid isn’t progressing. I’ve felt that about progress too so I get it. The mindset of wanting it fixed yesterday. Unfortunately each kid progresses in therapy at his own pace.
I usually tell parents that we don’t have too many options other than what the therapists ask us to do. Sometimes, what they suggest is completely opposite of my parenting beliefs. Unfortunately, most times I’ve experienced that they are right. They’ve seen so many kids that they know what they are talking about.
I also tell parents that after years of working with my son, I’m now at a stage where I can make a lot of suggestions. Now, I’m able to take a stand and say what I want done and why I feel something won’t work etc. It will take a couple of years to get there. Don’t be in a hurry to get there sooner. It’s a marathon, not a race. I’ve told this couple the same thing.

I’m following all the sensible advice from this post for the past few days. I’m responding but with caution. I come here to read responses from all of you before I respond. It’s helping me. I’ve also been too busy to talk on the phone. It’s helping. Usually with texts I’m able to frame answers better. When someone asks me a question on the phone or face to face, I find it hard to evade a direct reply.

 

I remember this. Poor kid. I feel like we always carry the guilt of not doing more, not starting sooner, not trying this diet and that new therapy. Adding to it the guilt of having been in denial for years can be so overwhelming. I’m sure this lady is feeling the pressure of all of that. I’m sure the parents you mentioned feel it too. The stigma and exclusion are things we will be fighting for our lifetimes. And the kids too. I hope all special needs kids have the tools to fight for their rights, the people to support them and the means to live life on their own terms.

So true. I feel like it takes each person their own time to get there. I hope she accepts and starts finding peace with the disability.

I did this. I have so many moms and dads whose stories are inspirational. I took the time to bump their threads today!

Of course! I’ve been busy with the usual and not so usual. Thank God for the little guy and the mini me. Both are ensuring my hair greys steadily and I don’t spend too much of mental masala on other people.

 

@1Sandhya - I know yaar. I said that at the beginning so she knew it was a marathon and she would get the skinny at some point in time and things won’t be so out of control for her regarding therapy objectives. I’ve been using strategies that others have said to me and made it easier. Galti ho gayi.

Even yesterday there was a ping about the therapists strategies not working and all of it being a money making scheme. I just said it takes time, follow up with them. For whatever reason, she has very low opinions about mental health professionals. She said she’s dropping it all and moving back to India. I hope she finds support whatever she chooses.