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How Do I Get My Husband To Communicate Properly?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Patientone, Jun 29, 2019.

  1. Patientone

    Patientone Junior IL'ite

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    Honestly he drives me insane. We are having a really tough time in our marriage and I feel very upset. I understand he does not care about me. He works 6 days a week and has to send money to india. He hardly has any time for me. He doesnt ask me about my day or anything yet I take an interest in him. I have been contemplating divorce a few times but then look at my 2 year old daughter. I have lost all confidence in this marriage and have lost the person I once was. Whenever I ask a question he answers by putting it on me. So I've asked him Do you love me? He says 'YOU dont love me'. I asked him are you happy being with me. He said 'are you?' I asked him to answer my question and he said you answer first so I just said 'yeah' and then said are you? he says 'hmmm yeah'. What does he mean and why is answering like that? He has fought with me every year on my birthday since he has arrived in the UK. He is ungrateful...Ive lost all hope.
     
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  2. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    My mom said one logic to me. She said until we depends emotionally on husbands, it will be hell for us. If we start love ourselves instead of husbands, then we can see heaven in our life's. Just ignore him. Start your career and spend most of time with kid, neighbors, colleagues. Don't try to communicate. Just you also answer his questions with short answers. Then observe. He will try to get your attention once after he found that you are not caring him.

    This logic worked well in my case. Be healthy and be fit to manage all things individually.
     
    aahuti, Ramyarc, nolife and 1 other person like this.
  3. Patientone

    Patientone Junior IL'ite

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    He is extremely immature. Like if you say can you change the channel its not appropriate for our daughter he answers back and says 'its okay when you watch all those things in your programs'. Right now in the car, I told him I think I maybe depressed and he completely ignored me. So when he came home and started watching TV and I said about changing the channel. He said ohh you say you feel stressed and depressed yet you dont feel stressed and depressed when you're using the laptop (right now). I mean what sort of jerk says that to his wife who had post natal depression for 2 years and only recovered 8 months ago. Jerk cant see how I cry or the tears on my face. I hate him. Im keeping a diary for 3 months and recording how I feel, my moods, his reactions. Like do I want to deal with this for the rest of my life?
     
  4. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Finest Post Winner

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    What would make u happy apart from the attention ur seeking from ur husband? Just want to know is ur complete happiness dependent on the husband or there are other personal things u would like to do which naturally make u happy. Any dpecific interests u pursued,

    Like when u were still unmarried was ur happiness dependent on this one individual u had never met then?
     
    Sunshine04 and Ramyarc like this.
  5. MlignaFairly

    MlignaFairly New IL'ite

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    This subject who can give a practical advice which helps is interesting to me too?
     
  6. aahuti

    aahuti Senior IL'ite

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    That's a real short time , you've been married for,OP.
    Take my seasoned advice.
    I ve learned the very hard way,you cannot change a man who is insensitive to your needs.
    Even if he changes his attitude by a bit and gives you a little more attention,he ll seek acknowledgement and appreciation.
    It is not possible for all of us get out of negative relationships but take charge of your own emotions.
    Seek happiness in other things.
    Don't exhaust yourself by digging ,where there might be nothing.
    Invest time in yourself,your daughter.
    Pick up hobbies , Job?
    It will do you good.

    I know easier said than done but one has to live and it would be better to live in a positive and unaffected way.

    Women these days are pretty smart and more emotionally empowered than the earlier generations.
    I am sure ,you'll figure it out.
    All the best.
     
    hermitcrab likes this.

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