How Did You Decide, If Its 1 Child Or 2 Children?

Being a part of IL for few months I have read few posters struggling through this topic... I never thought I will be posting about this topic.. but here I am.

I am going through a lot of emotions and I am not sure what I am seeking... The whole thing started when I said I wanted to have another child.I am in my early 30’s and I don't have much longer to decide. My DH wants to think..however, here and there he makes sure to tell me he isn't ready for the second baby.


Most of you know I have 1-year-old DS and he has brought me so much of joy, happiness, and content. That is the only reason I want to have another child.

I was a very different person before having a child and seeing my parents raise my sibling and me. I always wanted to just have one child. I thought an only child should and will get parents 100% attention, love, care and it is very unfair for both children to get less of everything.

I never once regretted having my sibling. She has been there for me all through up and downs. But when we were growing up… I think my parents could have done a better job in raising 2 children. So coming with my own perspective and during pregnancy/ postpartum with a little help I really did feel one child is all I could handle.

My DH too has faced certain things from childhood and simply put he lacks patience and the ability to solve problems diligently when it comes to children. He has his reasons for saying no to a second child.

I want to know from people with 2 children all positives and negatives.

Does it make it harder after having a second child? Don't children bring joy and happiness?

With 2 children will it make it harder for parents to manage work, family, and social life? Can I be any better than my parents or just succumb to everyday stress and make one child feel less affection and love? Can I be different in bringing up 2 children with equal love, care, affection? At this point, My DH and I are financially stable with 2 children. Will we save quite a bit with just 1... Yes, absolutely. But money isn't everything ( for me). It is the small moments, a little happiness. Will I feel the same way when life gets a bit stressful?

I was a very different person 2 years ago.. A few months back. I was sighing that I am satisfied with 1 child.

However, Recently I celebrated 1 year birthday and all I could think of holding a 4-month-old baby. I even told my DH I want 4 months old than 1-year-old DS.

Am I just overwhelmed with emotions after my DS turning 1?

What do you guys feel about my situation?Am I overthinking this with my experience and my DH's experience ?
Am I being emotional after 1 DS turning one and stick to my previous thinking of having just 1 child or can things change?

Should I push my DH for a second child? Isn't it unfair for our child to be alone if and when we are gone…?? Especially we being immigrants and doesn't have any family cousins, aunts, uncles to fall back on doesn't it make it a bit better for my DS to cope have a sibling?

Please be honest and tell me what I am not seeing or seeing and yet neglecting to consider.

 

@JGVR- Yea I know I can wait till 35. Just not sure how my body will bounce back after pregnancy. I strongly believe 2 children are ideal for immigrants. Its just not fair for the children to live in a world with no family support when parents are gone. Especially when life throws mega balls of fire.

@Avanti30-dont be sorry. I really appreciate your input. I too have a sister. Growing up was much easier coz of my sister.
I think I should focus on myself getting healthy and financially ready for a second child. I really hope I am doing the right thing.

The joy my DS has brought me in spite of struggles and wah wah moments... is something I want in my life.