Housemaid or day care in chennai-pls help

Pinky777 · Jul 3, 2013

I am a FT working mom in IT field, with 2 girls 3.5 and 7 months. We are in Chennai and both my parents and in-laws are in Kerala. I resumed work 2 months back when the younger one was 5.5. We got a maid from an agency in Kerala, but she complained and went off in 1 month. Now we have got another lady from another agency, and she has already started complaining about the weather and water, seems her hands are itching because of the water..none of us has this problem with the same water. Though her contract is for 5 months, she is also planning to go back in a month, ie after 2 months. Its been 2 maids in 3 months altogether. My daughter will be 8 months by the time she leaves. Since we have paid the agency for 5 months, they might send another lady if we insist. Then again I have to train her and adjust to her schedule and way of doing things..Do you think it is better for me to put her in day care than to try out different ladies who stays just for 1-2 months.
For my elder daughter I somehow managed with maids since all of them statys atleast 6 months, since the contract is for 6 months. Now she is going to a daycare after school. Also, its very difficult to manage these maids, the lady who is with us right now doesnt like me telling what to do, she shouts at me saying "I'm a clean lady or I know what all has to be done, I do things myself..have taken care of lots of kids, this is not the first one and so on.."
She didint even like me telling her to boil the feeding bottle every time after use. She says in other houses she does it only in morning and night. Also keeps complaining that she didnt get any rest if the baby doesnt sleeps for long time in the afternoon..ie if she didnt get time to sleep. I take care not to tell her anything even if the kitchen is dirty or the vessels are dirty, not even when babys clothes are not clean. I just wash or wipe it myself. She does only babys clothes, washing folding..bathing, feeding baby during day time..She does the cooking in the evening on weekdays after I reach home and weekends I do cooking also..only baby care for her..she goes to sleep latest by 10 and after that I take care of both the kids (both sleep late since my husband comes late)I only do all feeding (its a really big task of 1-1.5 hrs!), bathing, lunch packing..everything for the elder one..
Please suggest if sending my daughter to a daycare would be better than to bear these ladies after paying them 10k and agency service charges..heard that kids catch colds often in daycare..will it be still manageable?
Please suggest if there is any good day care on the OMR stretch from Kelambakkam to Sholinganallur, since I work in Sholinganallur.

Sasikarthik · Jul 3, 2013

Hi Pinky,

I can understand ur problem. It is true that kids catch cold in daycare, if they are below 2 years. If your parents or in laws are not working, better u can leave ur kid in your native for some time atleast 1 year. Then you can manage sending her to day care and she will also manage. But You have to bear that leaving ur kid to ur native.
But think ur kid point of view. She will be taken care by her own grand parents. You can also be satisfied though u are leaving her. And also already elder is going to day care, you can manage all your household work by yourself.

Think about it.

MaritalBliss · Jul 3, 2013

I prefer maids..but usually mine are for 2 years contract.

You have to be v firm, give them time table and tell them what you expect. If they are difficult to handle, I suggest you change the agency where they have trained maids.

Having said that, I felt sterilizing milk bottles after every feed is a bit too much...do we really need to do that? I thought it suffices to clean them well and sterilize in the morning and night.

Even if grandparents take care, they may not meet the hygiene standards, so u need to compromise at times.

Pinky777 · Jul 3, 2013

Thanks Sasikarthik for your reply. My parents are still working, but my in-laws are at home and they are ready to take care of the baby. I'm very reluctant to send her to native since I'll miss her too much. And since the elder one is in school, we cannot travel often to meet the little one.

Pinky777 · Jul 3, 2013

MaritalBliss, thanks for your reply. I'm not sure if sterilizing is needed or not. Since the smell remains in the bottle even after washing, I prefer it to be sterlized. In fact I got this idea from one of our maids for the elder one, but I felt it reasonable..so still follow it.

Rakhii · Jul 3, 2013

Pinky, whether it is maid or a daycare, consistency is what you should aim for at this age. Babies adjust well in a set routine with a set number of people. Changing them often cannot be an ideal situation. Have you spoken with any of your colleagues etc who have hired a good maid through an agency? Usually we check the references before hiring right, did you talk to the previous employers before hiring these nannies?

I have mentioned it before Here, see post 3, that might help you a lot.
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/p.../203654-training-nanny-before-going-work.html

Make things easier for yourself and the nanny. Like, if you think its needed to sterilize bottles after every feed, why not buy 8 bottles and keep them ready? After every feed, nanny can wash the bottles and keep aside. At the end of the day she can boil all of them together. At this age, your baby will not go through all 8 of them a day. So, buy 8 of them and keep them aside.

Edit: After a lo of consideration, we decided to send my child to daycare. I have interviewed a lot of live-in nannies and felt that homeday care is what is better for me. Having said this, it has its own challenges.
Honestly though, whether in a daycare or school, kids do catch cold until they build immunity.

Pinky777 · Jul 4, 2013

Thanks Rakhii for the detailed description in the other post. The agency maids wont accept so much instructions, they think they are the boss.
We dont have any way to do a background check of the maids whom the agency people send. Each agency will have maximum 1-2 people who are ready to work outside Kerala. And when they send them they say this is the best person they have and so on..I'll give some instructions and be with them for the first few days to check how they are doing and then leave the baby with the maid..sounds dangerous, no..but true..no other way..I'll call up home and enquire daily once randomly..we bring only little older women and since they dont know the place they wont run away..thats the only advantage.. I also ask the neighbour to keep a watch..but thats not very useful..
About training the nannies, I give them freedom..I just tell them this is the schedule of the baby..see if it works..or you can change it based on the baby's cues.. in fact babies adjust very easily to maids schedule, thats what happens..I just insist on few things about hygeine..thats all, even that, this lady wont like..she says I know all that, or this is how I have done in many houses..
We have 5 bottles right now and so sterilizing once in the morning and once during day time is enough, since baby has only max 10 a day..not every hour! but I've to listen to tantrums even for that..
I dont know of any home day care nearby..pls do let me know if you know any in chennai..

Rakhii · Jul 4, 2013

Pinky, normally in India people go for certified public day cares and not home day cares unless you personally know the people you are leaving the child with. I am so sorry, I am unable to come up with names of daycares in Chennai. Perhaps other ladies can help you.

From the challenges you are having, I think a daycare would be the ideal setup for you. These days all these daycares are so advanced that you can actually remotely watch what your kid is up to.

Dinny · Jul 5, 2013

Pinky I am Moving this thread to "Chennai" section.

brindaarun · Jul 9, 2013

Pinky
I would suggest daycare if the maid is changing frequently, check whether any day care is near to ur office. Now a day's many day care resides in campus itself.

MaritalBliss said: ↑

I prefer maids..but usually mine are for 2 years contract.

You have to be v firm, give them time table and tell them what you expect. If they are difficult to handle, I suggest you change the agency where they have trained maids.

Having said that, I felt sterilizing milk bottles after every feed is a bit too much...do we really need to do that? I thought it suffices to clean them well and sterilize in the morning and night.

Even if grandparents take care, they may not meet the hygiene standards, so u need to compromise at times.
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