Home Alone

Preparation for the departure for the long journey to India has not yet started at home. Usually, the responsibilities such as checking the validity of the Passports, Greencard, OCI and e-tickets are my responsibilities. Buying things that are needed for the trip to India is my DW’s. I have already arranged wheel chair for my MIL throughout the journey as well as the vegetarian meals for both my wife and MIL. I will do one more step of checking-in 24 hours before the departure. This time, I have also checked about the availability of cash for withdrawal from the banks as none of us have ATM cards in India. It looks like Rs. 24,000 is allowed per week. I have suggested to my wife to use Credit cards while in Chennai and carry cash for traveling outside of Chennai. She has some planned trips outside of Chennai, at least two, to my knowledge. I am a little sensitive and nervous about using credit cards outside of Chennai or major cities.

Packing the bags is also my responsibility but I would like to postpone that until early next week as I expect my son to take Orion to Gainesville this weekend before the packing. I have lived with my wife for 34 years and even though I don’t celebrate her departure like Janakaraj, (“Ayyaa, enn pondatti oorukku poitta”) meaning “I am happy my wife left for her home town”, I am not shaken up by her departure. My wife, as usual, gives a lot of instructions as to how take care of my health, what to eat, emergency contact phone numbers in the city I live, how to handle kitchen, cleaning procedures, etc. She would like to find the house in the same shape she left before her departure to India. But for Orion, it is different. The moment I bring down the suitcases for packing, he immediately goes and sits in one of the suitcases indicating that he would like to travel too with the grandma and great grandma. No matter, how much assurance I give that I was going to stay home, it doesn’t calm his mind. I can clearly see the mental disturbance in his eyes. Generally, after they depart, he doesn’t eat for 3-4 days, sits right next to me in my office, cries most of the time and sleeps curling himself as though there is nothing in life to look forward to. But what is so interesting sitting right next to an old man who can't run and play with him? At least grandma will chant Slokas that he enjoys listening for at least two hours everyday.

It breaks my heart to see him suffer and hence I have requested my son to take him to Gainesville to spend time with him. He is very good in handling Orion. He is the first point of contact for Orion (“Dad”) as he spends most time petting him. He also takes him for long walks in the state parks, allows him to roam around playing in an open space, feeds him well and takes him to the vet the moment he identifies that something is wrong with Orion.

My wife doesn’t look forward to going to Chennai either as her mother lives with her here. But taking care of her dad’s apartment, our apartment, the opportunity to visit holy places, her mother’s need to be back in India every year motivates her to travel. But every time she traveled, she knew I would be following her soon for a three weeks’ vacation. As I had been to India twice last year, this time, I decided against travel.

For me, my goals for two months include a) in the absence of sumptuous meal being prepared by wife, focus on reducing the weight as much as possible, b) read more books for the next two months, c) stay away from health troubles as I had scared my wife twice in her earlier trips by getting hospitalized, d) get more deals moving up to the LOI stage, e) identify opportunities to create a strong pipeline, f) learn more about new industries and g) find that one niche opportunity as second level engagement until retirement which would become primary activity post retirement.

I am sure my son would be instructed to look after me by his mother and he would make a trip to Tampa every 15 days along with Orion. We have so much to talk to each other unless I open the topic about his wedding, he is generally very talkative and well-informed. There is so much to learn from him. Other than Super bowl, the TV will be pretty much off for two months as I don’t enjoy watching TV much. Nowadays, audio instead of reading makes me absorb more. Spiritual center will keep me engaged for 3 hours every Sunday and temple visits will make me spend 2-3 hours every week.Saturday morning are reserved for a conversation with my mother for at least 30 minutes.

Can someone explain to me why these two months are longer than the rest of the months?

 

@ashima10,

Thank you for your first response and the confidence in me to manage the time of absence of my wife well. Hopefully, no one will read this response in any different manner than how I meant.

My wife is going to keep me busy at least for an hour every day morning over phone asking all the details and plans for the day. Nowadays, the communication systems makes life much more easier and the pain of absence is much reduced. It is my view, the longer the spouses are together, the time of absence feels like a light year. I will take very good care of my health. Thank you.

Viswa

 

A Caucasian gentleman used to sing a melodious English bhajan in our spiritual center which came to my mind after reading your first line:

"When dark clouds fill your skies, hiding sunshine from your eyes
Say his name, see his form, hold on".

May be this line is written for me for situations like this.

Thank you for a puzzle a week and that would keep me busy until my wife returns. If we have Dr S or Dr G puzzles, I will work even harder.

Viswa

 

Dear Pavithra,

What a delightful response from you. Especially the lines,
"To await is the Life and Essence of Pre Marital Love,Seperation Unendurable is the Love and Essence of Post Marital Life..." caught my attention.

In 1995, just before we were about to move to the US, 12 years after we got married, my wife was very upset about something I said or did. One of my colleagues walked right at that time to pick me up to go to work as we used to car pool. After seeing my wife upset, he said, "You have crossed the threshold of 10 years and you both have become indispensable to each other now." Those words are still ringing in my ears. When I was working for a public company, I used to have a lot of international travels and my wife used to be very disturbed every time I need to leave. Now, I am able to understand that feeling.

Viswa

 

@Rihana,

You made my day by posting that video here. A mutually agreed upon silent treatment? I need to be educated about it. It is always me who is trying to break her silence here at home. Whether it is going together some place, have a discussion about some family issue and even to quarrel, we need the spouse.

Viswa