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Highly dominating friends????????

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by chetavani50, Jan 8, 2013.

  1. chetavani50

    chetavani50 Gold IL'ite

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    Hello friends,
    I work for a reputed company and i have two female colleagues (friends?). They are highly dominating and often throw satires on each other.
    Even if we speak something casually they search for a negative or inner meaning in that and start cracking vulgar jokes. This irritates me a lot and i just laugh artificially to their dirty jokes.I am generally soft-speaking and they take advantage of my calmness and start teasing me indirectly. I can't even understand that they r upto me. Really my situation is horrible between these two.Recently one more lady has joined in our department and thay have started criticising her.They complain to me about her in her absence.It is like this- They don't allow me to move with her and at the same time they keep stamping me. What to do with people like this ?
     
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  2. OliveOyl

    OliveOyl Gold IL'ite

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    Ignore ignore ignore....Take a deep breath. Stop laughing at their silly jokes, make an excuse (Important call??) and move away from them...Call that other new joinee and ask her to join with your colleagues for lunch or chai...

    In such situations being tactical is more important than being direct...
     
  3. crazywriter

    crazywriter Platinum IL'ite

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    Stop hanging out with them. If you dont like them, nothing can force you to be around them. If you are uncomfortable, move out of their company.
     
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  4. nicegirlradhi

    nicegirlradhi Gold IL'ite

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    have the courage to say "NO" about the excessive/dominating behavior...be it from husband/in laws, friends or even COLLEAGUES

    That said, dont be harsh to them, but be firm at the same time send them signals that you are not enjoying their company.

    When they are you for tea/coffee, say that you are busy. When they speak negative abt other person, they might be doing the same abt your with others. So tell them that you are not interested to know about others business as it has not bothered you.
     
  5. chetavani50

    chetavani50 Gold IL'ite

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    Thank u Oliveoyl,crazywrited and nicegirlradhi for ur replies. They are not only dominating but they speak whatever they like.I hate it. For eg., one day we were held up at our office due to a small strike and i was worried about my DD.When i told them the same they said"Hi Hi...This is a good chance for ur DH to get a new mommy for ur DD.He might have been bored with u all these days."
    In addition to these, they often speak vulgarly about s** like how u enjoy with ur DH, how much time u do etc. etc.
     
  6. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Get new friends before those sickos make a suggestion directly to your husband to get a new wife..... Sick when a mother is scared of her dd's safety...


    They are not dominating.

    They are sick dumbos... Wrong title :)
     
  7. Mehana

    Mehana Gold IL'ite

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    Just ignore, do your work. Try to find other set of friends if you are going to stay in same office or stay quiet get things complete in your office....lleave home.
     
  8. dimhere

    dimhere Gold IL'ite

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    For some people, talking about personal things such us ur DH or ur s** life means that they are "very close" friends. They expect you also to backslap them and tell them what a fun time you had with ur dh last nite!

    Unfortunately, such ppl do not know the meaning of personal boundaries, or the fact that it is different from person to person. They will understand if you spell it out loud and clear to them, but they will also get very affronted and indignant when you point it out to them.

    At the moment, just ignore, and leave the situation as much as possible, as you will have to continue seeing their face everyday, even if you confront them. NEVER reply even once to all this talk abt ur personal life just to please them even once, as they will start asking more deeper qns. That being said, I don't think they are being negative in any way, it is just entertainment for them.

    One point, do they share THEIR details as well?? or is it just a one way curiosity ??

    Good luck with your "friends"!!
     
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  9. seethavarma

    seethavarma Gold IL'ite

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    Any body who is disturbing your peace of mind is not a friend,never!
    Just elegantly ignore it,because those who are doing this will fall in their own trap,sooner or later!
     
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  10. abcdabcd

    abcdabcd Silver IL'ite

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    hello...flee from such friendship before they make your work life miserable..
     

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