Helpful suggestions for my married life.

jmsd · Feb 24, 2012

Hi Deepa

Last night only I showed him that how my younger one wouldn't go to sleep without giggling to his father ,be it even for a minute.
Though my elder one has become habitual to Papa's mental absence,younger one waits forever ,fighting his sleep for Papa to finish tv and enter the bedroom.
It seemed that the point got across to him.
He was more playful with the kiddo today.

Thank you so much for the wonderful input and motivation.
You guys are real great!

jogu07 · Feb 24, 2012

jmsd said: ↑

Hi Deepa

Last night only I showed him that how my younger one wouldn't go to sleep without giggling to his father ,be it even for a minute.
Though my elder one has become habitual to Papa's mental absence,younger one waits forever ,fighting his sleep for Papa to finish tv and enter the bedroom.
It seemed that the point got across to him.
He was more playful with the kiddo today.

Thank you so much for the wonderful input and motivation.
You guys are real great!
Click to expand...

Wow jmsd,

Mayb this is the start....stay strong and things will change eventually, jus give it sometime....

GL to u....

deepa10 · Feb 24, 2012

jmsd said: ↑

Hi Deepa

Last night only I showed him that how my younger one wouldn't go to sleep without giggling to his father ,be it even for a minute.
Though my elder one has become habitual to Papa's mental absence,younger one waits forever ,fighting his sleep for Papa to finish tv and enter the bedroom.
It seemed that the point got across to him.
He was more playful with the kiddo today.

Thank you so much for the wonderful input and motivation.
You guys are real great!
Click to expand...

Wow, its great to know this....!! You know what jmsd, no one can turn their face to a kid...!! And if its their own kid, how could they resist... Slowly motivate your elder one also to clarify his/her doubt to the father.. Let them pester him within their questions.... You sit, watch and enjoy..!! :-D Hope all goes fine with you..!!

SSC · Feb 24, 2012

jmsd,
I'm glad u are getting results... But really you need to be more rigid... Let me give you an example - If your kid asks u for 5 chocolates everyday, would u be ready to give, knowing it would spoil his health? You would reason, distract, yell and might try everything but the kid may be totally unreasonable. At the end of the day you are left with 2 options - be stubborn and 'refuse' (which is what JAG put in as 'going on strike'), or yield, and spoil your kid's health....
Yes, your H is no kid, and he is a fully grown mature adult! When he is sensitive, and mature and thinks at every other place, why is he refusing to understand what his wife and kids want for the last 8 years? Do you see the problem here? Its because he is not given a chance to be mature/sensitive at home. Because his wife takes care of every damn thing for him and his kids - from his wet towel, to taking care of his sick child, you do everything. Thats why I was talking about a rude shock, on his face. Its okay if he takes his time to get into action, but atleast the understanding part should have come in by now, in 8 years! If he can be the most wanted person at work, and takes pride at that, why doesnt he want to be the 'most wanted' person at home? What about his duties towards his family? (I'm not talking about domestic chores, but emotional duties towards wife and kids?) Either your ways of communicating to him, has not been 'effective' enough, or he does it on purpose, knowing he is 'covered'. STOP getting his back, and let him be the father and H he should be!

jmsd · Feb 24, 2012

SSC

Agree with you

jmsd · Mar 7, 2012

Hi Guys

Just wanted to update you all ,thank you and inspire others to be a bit more proactive.
A few polite conversations ,a bit of nudging was all it took.
Plus I offered him a little insecurity that I wanted to pursue a course in a different city.
He asked me that how will I manage.
I smiled back and answered "Just like I do now"
Probably that did the trick.
Probably he was a bit too sure of my presence and was taking me for granted which changed in a moment.

Now I get his blanket folded ,my kids bathed and brushed and having fun with him in the evening.
Paradoxically the smile is more on his face (as well as mine.)

Right now I am laughing at myself(I was depressed and desperate earlier) for suffering unnecessarily and becoming a Mother India while happiness was just a few steps away which I did not know how to take.

I am again so grateful to you awesome ladies here.The credit of this comfort rediscovered goes all to you!!

tanoshii · Mar 7, 2012

Really happy for your JMSD. Happiness is at everyone's doorstep, waiting to be recognised.
But we all need a little taste of the bad stuff too to know how sweet the good stuff really is. ;-)
Am glad you are working things out for all of you.

All the very best and God Bless.