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Help me:(

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by cherryhills, Feb 18, 2012.

  1. cherryhills

    cherryhills New IL'ite

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    Dear all,
    I hv an issue with my DH.Few months back my DH created some group/page/community in a social network site based on some tv pgm.I dont like that,and fought with him to dissolve the group before it grows!but he dint listen and he has made some ~4 women as the admin/incharge of that group.He will chat with them very frequently(casual talk only but still I really dont like).He share the matters very rarely to me.Now recently he shared his mobile no and started conversation over fone.Once that lady tried calling him,but he dint pick and he said he wont pick,but sometime later he went out of home and answered her call and he dint say anything but i found that and i myself asked him whether he answered her and he said yes,which hurts me a lot(may be am over possessive)
    I don't really mind that he has them as friends over there, but it kind of irritates me when I see the calls on fone.:cry::cry::cry:
    Now I hate that ppl/group/pg/commu in the social network..and i want him to delete that page.But he is not interested in deleting.We already hv lots of other family issues and constructing home in our native and hving enough of issues to think abt.I dont like my DH talking with other virtual frnds.:bangcomp:

    I delivered recently and living in another city with my parents and DH working in another city.He will visit us during weekends.This separation is making me to think bad,that doesnt mean i hv no trust on my DH.I love him more.
    Pls advise me on this,am i over reacting?
     
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  2. bukbuk

    bukbuk Silver IL'ite

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    This is just my opinion. I think you are over reacting. Could be becoz you going through postpartum. Does your husband look like Brad Pitt or Hritik Roshan? If not, I don't really think him talking to women over phone could turn into something serious. But I don't know your husband; his nature or his history. No one apart from you can decisively tell you what to do. You need to rely on your own intuitions. That said and done, excessive interference and nose poking in bad for any relationship - even husband and wife.
     
  3. daffny

    daffny Silver IL'ite

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    as far as, nothing goes wrong and you have some proof for that there is no problem in this. why cant you join the same group and share your views with your hus? when you love him more and possessive like this it is better to have the same interests like him. most of the men like to discuss about something in politics, their favourite TV shows, fav movie etc. if you start sharing with him and discussing all these he will not feel like talking with others on the same topic.

    anyway, I didnt know till today that a man has be like Brad Pitt or Hritik Roshan to have EMA ????
     
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  4. bukbuk

    bukbuk Silver IL'ite

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    Regarding the last line: you don't have to take what I said literally. But I often wonder when I see women here writing they are distrustful of their husband talking to other women. Why? What's the logic behind their fear ?Either the fault is with the husband, or the wife. The husband's fault could be his past. He might have had a EMA/EMAs before so the wife is constantly watching him like a hawk. On the other hand, the wife is terrible insecure, and suffers from some inferiority complex. Either she is not charming, good looking like her h and constantly feels she's not a suitable match for him; this fear drives her to think that he may go for another woman by dumping her.

    I was just emphasizing on the second point when I wrote that line you picked on!
     
  5. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

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    So far nothing seems too fishy to me i.e starting social group and interacting with members of this group. I am not saying there is no difference between a local club for star wars enthusiasts Vs an online one but you have to admit there are lots of similarities as well.

    In today's world virtual communities has given the opportunity for many people to join/create social groups of their interest and share opinions and ideas with other people with same interest from the comfort of their own home. So more and more people are part of virtual social group than a local social club.

    As long as he doesn't spend too much time on this and start to neglect you, I don't think you should be too worried about it. If it still bothers you then like Daffny suggested start to show interest in this tv program and join the group yourself. Talk to the girls he is talking too, make it a casual thing. If he starts to spend too much time on it & not fulfil his responsibilities as a husband & father then you might want to step in and curb his interest a bit.
     
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  6. parvathi1980

    parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

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    Join the group and participate in the discussions happening...
     
  7. cherryhills

    cherryhills New IL'ite

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    FYI I am one of the member there,and am also frnds with those ladies but we hardly chatted.If there is any issue or anything they will contact my DH,not considering that am also living with him(i means they wont share matters with me) and regarding fone calls,he never gave me to talk or they dint!!
    I hv discussed this with my DH,he just said that I need to trust him,nothing is going wrong.
    But what I feel is we are living distant,and the time he spending for those frnds is irritating me.There are lots of men also there,y dont men share his conversation with another men??!! I just wonder!
    So i thought deleting/dissolving that pg would be solution:(
     
  8. cherryhills

    cherryhills New IL'ite

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    Also pls suggest me how to divert myself from this issue(it may be silly to someone!).I dont want to be a hawk:(
    I really dont like how am right now:(
     
  9. daffny

    daffny Silver IL'ite

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    try to divert your interest into something else what you really like other than this. try to show your husband you dont bother about that at all now, and you are busy in something else. the more you avoid the closer he will come.
     
  10. JGVR

    JGVR Gold IL'ite

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    ask your dh to talk to those friends in front of you and not to go outside.if there is nothing then there shouldn't be a problem talking in front of you.
     

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