Help Me What Strategy I Can Use For The Financial Issue With My Husband

Rose03 · Sep 10, 2018

Hi ,

I am married for 5 years with toddler, my husband lied me on his earning from day1 , he never accepted , he will reveal only when he gets hike. he never admits his extra bonus and allowances. we are not financially settled. I also work. to me , post marriage both husband and wife should be transparent and honesty to each other , one of the conflicts for the non-healthy relationship would be finical conflicts. I told him many times. he is brought up in an environment where no saving . earn and spend for today and tomorrow earn again. I tried telling to their family to tell him , its waste( their parents are like that) . so told this my family to convey him which is making me hard to maintain family from my earning. he never understood.. he says I am like if u want stay or leave.. what fate we girls have I feel...

TIA

shravs3 · Sep 10, 2018

So In that case, you start saving your salary. Contribute less ,don’t spend all your salary. You start investing in some property or other stuffs so it’s properly utilised.

Financial problem is the main reason couples fight. If both are on same boat things will be good. But problem arises when one spends too much or doesn’t like to spend at all..

poovai · Sep 11, 2018

A word of caution....find the source of spending, where the money goes unnecessarily and cut down the spending? Budgeting is a must for family regardless of income. Recently, I saw an image and it made me smile.

shravs3 · Sep 11, 2018

poovai said: ↑

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This reminds me of Mark Zuckerberg! The right side one

DXBDesi · Sep 11, 2018

I am like the OP's husband, but here are my reasons

1) My DW just cannot help sharing stuff with her sisters, and they share as well. So I know no matter she promises, she wont be able to resist sharing my financial information with them

2) Just sharing would be annoying but ok, but I know the next step is they will give all sorts of advice on what to do with our money, most of it centered around the belief that I should follow my BIL's (wife's sister's husbands), all of whom have a very set formula to life i.e. never travel, eat out rarely, save every penny, and purchase property every 6 months. That is not a life I want for us ....

3) Sharing all financial info will lead to regular conflicts on how much I am giving my parents. I do not give a lot, but because relations between spouse and mother is bitter, anything I give will be an issue when I choose to not spend on something

SinghManisha · Sep 11, 2018

Financial transparency in a marriage is very important. I cannot imagine not knowing and not having access to any of it.
Here is a interesting article

Why Couples Need to Get Financially Naked

DXBDesi said: ↑

I am like the OP's husband, but here are my reasons

1) My DW just cannot help sharing stuff with her sisters, and they share as well. So I know no matter she promises, she wont be able to resist sharing my financial information with them

2) Just sharing would be annoying but ok, but I know the next step is they will give all sorts of advice on what to do with our money, most of it centered around the belief that I should follow my BIL's (wife's sister's husbands), all of whom have a very set formula to life i.e. never travel, eat out rarely, save every penny, and purchase property every 6 months. That is not a life I want for us ....

3) Sharing all financial info will lead to regular conflicts on how much I am giving my parents. I do not give a lot, but because relations between spouse and mother is bitter, anything I give will be an issue when I choose to not spend on something
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nakshatra1 · Sep 11, 2018

Not sharing financial information with life partner is a financial.abuse. Sharing may lead to conflict as no 2 people will have exact same views or priorities on how to budget . But that doesn't mean one should stop sharing .Just as both have responsibility of running the family and household , similarly both have right to financial decision making .